21-Jun-2001
Title: Raindrop
Author: Kimmie (JaenKaeGW@hotmail.com)
Archive: GW Addiction.
Category: POV, angst
Pairings: None.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None.
Spoilers: None.
Notes: Just another one of those spur of the moment type fics. This isn't anything substantial, and it's reminiscent of "Never A Pearl" without the over-the-topness, I think. This is dedicated to the storm clouds brewing over my house and the windows in the living room which will let me see the raindrops. Heero POV.
There's a storm outside.
The wind is blowing, not too harshly, but enough that the tree branch near the window is tapping now and then. The blinds are only halfway pulled, and the air in here is cool, but I'm typing like a good little boy. Mission reports, unfortunately, do not write themselves.
My hands look oddly mishapen at the moment. They're too long and thin and too easily bent to the keys that depress under my flying fingers. It's been so long since I tried typing the way I'm supposed to. I type faster than that. But, I still have to spend time with my computer. I can't be like the other boys and run outside when its nice and laugh and play. I have to pilot a machine created for war, save everyone's lives except the people who "deserve" to die, type faster than most people can talk, and my only time I get to experience the outdoors beyond when I'm doing missions is when I sit here at my computer and I hear the occasional crash of thunder, or the tiniest gust of wind that finds its way through a crack in a door or window sill.
The rain is nice too. The tinny splat, splat, splat of the droplets on the roof, gathering and pooling before sliding down, hitting the gutters with airy plinks.
I want to be a raindrop. Begin as an insignificant speck of dust just floating through the atmosphere. Get discovered by a cloud and covered in liquid. Begin to fall because of gravity, get picked up again and discovered again, coated again, to fall again and repeat it all until you're heavy enough to fall to Earth. You can be swayed by the wind, join up with other droplets once you reach a surface... You don't have choices, but everything turns out okay in the end.
Raindrops don't get hurt. They don't die. They don't have to be the best because they're all alike. Some may be a bit bigger; some may freeze on impact. Some might form beautiful crystals before they get to fall. But, they're all raindrops, just affected differently.
I suppose you could call me a raindrop. I'm insignificant like a speck of dust. Under a lot of pressure and gravity, I fell to Earth. Many would tell you I'm frozen, or might as well be. I joined up with other "raindrops" after a bit of time on Earth. I've been swayed by the wind, and I don't have choices. I do what I am forced to do.
But, I get hurt. A lot of times, I almost die. That's the part of being a raindrop that I want. I want to be the first cool droplet that hits the ground, catching on a flower petal at the perfect angle so as not to bruise. Provide life... instead of death.
It's the death I want to get away from. Here in space, now that I'm back here again, I have the choice to fall to Earth again. If I were a raindrop, it wouldn't be a choice. I would fall without worry... and I'd be away from the death... some of it at least.
If I had a god, I'd pray to him. Pray for forgiveness for what I've done, pray for the means to end all of this, pray to be a normal boy who can play outside in the sunshine for one day.
But I think I might just rather play out in the rain.
Owari. -__-
Jenny&Kimmie
Please send comments to: JaenKaeGW@hotmail.com