25-Dec-2000
Title: Everybody Knows the Claus
Author: Kimmie (JaenKaeGW@hotmail.com)
Archive: GW Addiction
Category: silliness, songfic
Pairings: 5+Sally
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no
money... Stuff like that. Yeah.
Rating: G
Warnings: Silliness.
Spoilers: None.
Notes: Many thanks go out to Joyce K. Wakabayashi for letting me use Mulan and Fei. The song that Wufei sings? Yes, it actually exists. Song credits go to Hanson.
*...* denotes emphasis
~...~ denotes lyrics
"Daddy? Why is Santa Claus so fat?"
Wufei looked down from where he was mixing dough for Christmas cookies. His daughter, Mulan, and his son, Fei, were looking up at him with expectant eyes. "Go ask your mother."
Sally called from the other room, "Wufei! I'm watching CourtTV! You tell them."
With a sigh, Wufei abandoned his batter and sat down, pulling one kid onto each knee. "I'm going to sing you a song now that will tell you all about it." He cleared his throat and began.
~Oh, oh yeah, oh, said don't you smell the cookies he's bakin',
~Oh can't you see that belly, it's shakin',
~Don't take a cookie off of that pan,
~'Cause you don't want to mess with this man
~You've never seen this side of him before,
~You know he won't be knockin at your door, oh, oh,
Wufei stood up and grabbed the bowl of batter, continuing to mix it while singing.
~Here come Santa Claus, said here he comes, here he comes,
~Doin' all those good things, everybody knows the Claus,
~Said here comes Santa Claus, said here he comes, here he comes,
~You know he's a big man, don't mess with the boss
~Said here he comes, here he comes now,
Dancing around now, Wufei pulled the wooden spoon from the bowl and began to sing into it like a microphone.
~Ask Rudolph and he won't steer you wrong, now Santa wasn't fat all along,
~Until he started cookin' one day, now don't take that turkey away,
~You've never seen this side of him before,
~You know he won't be knockin' at your door, at your door,
~Here comes Santa Claus, said here he comes, here he comes,
~Doin' all those good things, everybody knows the Claus,
~Here comes Santa Claus, side here he comes, here he comes,
~You know he's a big man, don't mess with the boss,
Sally came to the doorway to see what the commotion was, and began to laugh quietly. Wufei was oblivious, and continued to sing.
~Ridin' down the air highway in his sleigh,
~Bringin' all the presents for the next day, don't forget the doughnuts,
~Said here he comes, said here comes Santa, oh yeah,
~Said here comes Santa, ooh, here come's Santa,
~His cookies and his milk are his pride,
~Or anything that can be deep-fried,
~Don't get me wrong, now he's a nice guy,
~But you don't want to get on his bad side,
Wufei began to dance more wildly, flinging batter haphazardly around the kitchen.
~You've never seen this side of, and you'll never see this side of,
~Here comes Santa Claus, said here he comes, here he comes,
~Doin' all those good things,
~Everybody knows the Claus,
~Here comes Santa Claus, said here he comes, here he comes
~you know he's a big man,
~Don't mess with the boss, here comes Santa Claus,
~Comin' down your chimney tonight,
~Here comes Santa, here he comes, here he comes,
~Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa, here he comes,
~Don't mess with the boss, here comes Santa Claus!
Wufei finished with the flourish, and did a little bow, smiling at his kids.
Fei looked up with wide eyes. "Daddy... does this mean that you're Santa Claus?"
Sally snorted and left the room before anyone could notice.
Owari. ^__~
Jenny&Kimmie
Please send comments to: JaenKaeGW@hotmail.com