22-Jul-2001
Title: Somewhere In Between
Author: Kimmie (JaenKaeGW@hotmail.com)
Archive: GW Addiction
Category: shonen ai, yaoi, lime, light angst
Pairings: 1x3/3x1
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.
Rating: R
Warnings: None.
Spoilers: None.
Notes: This is my entry for Silent Passion's Heero/Trowa contest. ^__^ Yeah, it was a given that I would enter. You'll notice that it's lime, of all things. Yeah, since when do I write lime? But, anyway, here goes. Trowa's sort of seme-like in this one... This fic is in no way related to my regular Heero/Trowa series which should have more parts coming soon. So, enjoy (and, vote for me)!
The air was cool in the small, one-room apartment, trailing over the small bed that had been pushed into one corner and surrounded by hanging curtains that were now pulled back. Two male figures lay there, partially entwined, and covered only haphazardly by the mismatched sheets bearing flowers, and, alternately, spaceships. One figure lay back against the pillows, his arms behind his head and body eased loosely between the sheets. The other figure used him as a pillow, head comfortably on the man's chest and a mirror image of hands, one on his own hip and one on his partner's. "You're everything to me."
The figure who lay solid and straight shifted to look at his partner. "Heero, you don't mean that. Don't lie to me."
Heero sat up and looked imploringly at the other man. "I'm not lying, Trowa." His eyes held none of the secrets that they once had, wide and ready with emotions he'd only begun to explore. "You know I can't lie to you."
Trowa turned to one side, away from the other man, and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I know. It's just... you take getting used to like this. You're so ready to do anything for me and just be wonderful and everything. It's like you don't remember..."
"Remember what?" Trowa could feel Heero's breath falling lightly on his shoulder, warm and pleasant in the cool apartment.
"Remember everything we've been through. The wars, the times we've fought, the mistakes we made... It's like you're trying to prove to me that you can be perfect."
The warm breath was gone from his shoulder. A moment after it's absence registered, Trowa turned to look at Heero who had shifted to sit up and bring his knees to his chin, resting his head to the side and looking away. "I *was* trying to prove that I could be perfect. After all that we went through, I thought that if I changed, then things would go right. I... I just want to be in love with you. Why can't that be easy?"
Trowa pulled himself up, his long legs sliding through the mass of sheets as his large hands pushed against the pillows. He leaned against the flimsy headboard and reached out to Heero, sliding one of those large hands up his lover's back, to curl around his side and pull him close, almost onto his lap. "Because love's only easy to fall into and out of, I suppose. It's not like it's ever been easy for us, why'd you expect it to be now?"
His eyes shut tight and neither falling into or struggling from Trowa's grasp, Heero shrugged a bit. "I don't know what I expect. I just... why does love have to be a four letter word? Those are almost always bad for you somehow. Why can't it be a nice nine letter word that isn't anything but wonderful?"
Smirking a tiny bit, Trowa leaned in and placed a kiss like a comforting touch on Heero's shoulder. "Because anything is an eight letter word, and wonderful is a nine letter word, sure, but we've got that already. We've always had that. We've had love too, and I like to think we still have it and always will, but with us... we're somewhere in between."
"Hmm?" Heero questioned almost incoherantly, turning so that he could see Trowa through his eyelashes, far too thick for a ex-assassin. "What do you mean we're somewhere in between?"
"I mean that we're in between falling in love and falling out of love. You'll notice that language is funny and the falling out requires an extra word. That makes it more difficult, you know."
Heero shook his head, almost pleading in his gaze, though Trowa wasn't sure what for. "Don't tell me that. I've known you to overcome great difficulties just for the hell of it and I don't want that to be one of them. Please..."
Trowa smiled and placed a soft kiss on Heero's forehead, avoiding the pleading gaze pointed toward him. "You don't have to worry about me, Heero. I'm in no hurry to run away this time. You've never given me a reason to run. You just give me lots of reasons to come running back if I *do* happen to run away, or get lost or something."
When he looked down again, Heero's eyes were shut tightly. He brought his arms up and slid them around Trowa's neck, pulling him roughly into an uncomfortable embrace. "I just don't want to lose you because I couldn't change or wouldn't... I've always been the guy who just had to go in to get what he wanted and take it, and I've found that in relationships, that can't work. I have to ask for what I want. I'm not... used to asking. But, for you... I'll ask anything. I just want to love you, and have you love me and live in some 'happily ever after' kind of illusion where it all feels perfect. I know I'm still young, but don't I--no--don't *we* deserve that?"
"We'll make it perfect." Trowa finally allowed himself to meet Heero's gaze and saw a bit of the fighter that he'd first fallen in lust with, then love. That determination that drew him close was there again as strong as he needed it to be. "I'm in love with you, you're in love with me. We want this to work, so how could anyone stop us? They never could before."
"We had Gundams and lots of ammunition."
Trowa shook his head and smiled, remembering just how easily a lot of ammunition could be used up. "We also had intelligence and abilities and we didn't kill anyone at the end of the whole Mariemaia ordeal. We're survivors because we have the skills *to* survive and now we have a reason, too. You're my reason to live. And, you have been for a while now. Well, all of the other pilots, and Cathy, but especially you. 'Cause, no one else can look that hot in spandex and not catch my attention... and then you just kept it, and now I find that my interest is now firmly locked on one thing."
Heero snorted slightly against Trowa's shoulder. "What's that? My ass?"
With a rare bit of a pervert's smile, Trowa rubbed his cheek affectionately against Heero's hair. "Among other things. But, no, silly. Just you. *All* of you. But, intense focus on your ass helps make me a happy boy."
"I'll show you happy." Heero pushed him roughly down the bed until his head was back on the pillows and Heero was straddling him, naked and quickly becoming aroused. The flowered sheets were wrapped teasingly around one of his thighs.
Trowa placed his hands on Heero's hips and ran his fingertips over the other man's skin appreciatively. "You already have shown me happy."
Heero shook his head and smirked at him. "So, I'll show you a good time. Would you be opposed?"
Pretending to think about it for a moment, Trowa finally sat up, tilting Heero to sit in his lap. "I think I could go for another round. Then, we'll shower and I'll make us something to eat."
There was a brief silence in which Heero nodded and leaned forward to press his lips against Trowa's neck. His lips were soft against Trowa's neck as he whispered, "Somewhere in between, huh?"
Sighing softly, happily, Trowa wrapped his arms around Heero. "Or maybe firmly wedged. We can decide later on."
Another brief silence. "Is it later yet?"
"I believe so..."
A breathy moan. "Firmly wedged it is, then."
Owari. '_'
Jenny&Kimmie
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