Of all g-boys, I couldn't seem to be able to write much on Quatre (not that I can write any longer for the other g-boys, or worse still the other casts), which I still don't know why... So this fic is high in the possibility of OOCness (not that the others aren't OOC).... And this is a continuation from the previous two parts, the Heero one and the Trowa one.. I think you could still manage quite well without knowing the previous two, but some of the musings might not make sense... And this is just the first chapter (hard enough work, thinking that I have to rewrite the whole thing, after my mailbox threw the drafts into the snow outside)... more parts coming in... I promise to finish it before I went for Camp.
Right! Disclaimers now, boys and girls... None of the characters are mine, sadly... not even remotely that... And theeeen? what else? oh yah, no money... (seem to be a trend these days, so... I am not alone...), theeeeen... the ideas are not mine, they are Jeje's (my evil thoughts), so blame him... not me! and then.... can't think of anything now, but you know the drill more than I do...
And now, the questions: Quatre lover? Zechs lover? don't mind a Quatre/Zechs tryst? know Yaoi? like Yaoi? 18 and above? If you answer no to at least one of the above, don't continue on! If you still do, whatever happen to you at the end is not my fault and I'm not to be dragged to court because of misleading people into bottomless misery...
Anyway: ficcy time!
Sleeping with an Angel by JejeFish
based on the song of the same title by Real McCoy
"OOOOH... thats soooooo nice!" Duo exclaimed as he opened the door to the apartment. His voice was so loud it could actually be heard from halfway across heaven and earth. Following him were two other friends, who gave a silent agreement. It had indeed been a very agreeable afternoon walk.
From the living room, Heero muttered a slow curse under his breath. He looked up from the illuminated lap top screen, obviously surprised by the loud thundering voice and stared at the doorway. He flicked the lid closed and leaned himself to the back of the chair, closing his radiant eyes and massaging the bridge of his nose.
He could make out the muffled footfalls emerging into the sitting room, where he was, and he braced for any more exclamations. None come, but a long slender arm that wrapped his throat and a feeling of a chin on his head. He knew who, without even opening his eyes.
"Duo..." he sighed.
"Yep!" the chirpy voice came in. "How are you, Heero? work again? are you not tired?" A barrage of questions after questions flowed, making Heero hoped that the world will end soon, or better still *his* world will end soon. The last thing he need was nagging and nagging and chirpy voice... lets just say it was his recovery from his tryst's aftershocks. Vaguely he could still remember the feeling of another beside him.
/Cut that off, Heero!/ he reminded himself and concentrated back to his three friends. Duo had released him and sat on the couch with a smiling Quatre and a most passive Wufei.
There was a passing silence in the room, since no one knows what to start which, or which to start what... Heero was about to get back to his lap top when Duo burst in sudden realisation. "Hey! where is Trowa? hadn't seen him since we left."
Quatre turned wide eyed, as if missing a very important thing. "Ah yes, Trowa..." Quatre was about to rise from his seat and walk to Trowa's room when Heero said softly, eyes not leaving the computer's screen. "He's not here." he said simply.
"Where is he then?" that's Duo. "Do you know? is he all right? Anything happened to him?" his was of genuine concern.
Heero sighed again, "You talk a lot." The boy lifted his gaze to the worried Arabian, then he closed the lap top again, knowing that he can't do anything anymore. "Quatre, come. I'll show you."
Then, Quatre hesitantly rose and hurriedly followed Heero out of the door and out into the streets. In the sitting room, Duo and Wufei was left gaping at each other. After a few long moments, Duo, as most of the time, found his tongue first, said in a huff, "Ice Berg!"
Wufei just shrugged.
Quatre blinked in earnest as he stood, as Trowa did before him, open-mouthed, wide-eyed, goldfish-like gape. The gates of the place was gilded gold and ornamental precious gems. Displays of great workmanship and obviously loads of money. He could see the vast expanse of the gardens from where he stood, at the entrance, he could see the great oriental building stood in majesty, he could see the great pride and vanity of whoever owned it, and he could see that even him and his great expanse of estates and seemingly endless fortune could not achieve such high perfection in aestheticism and wealth.
He gingerly stepped inside, wondering where in this vast estate could he find his friend, and pondered the idea of sneaking in or entering the formal way. But this place seem deserted. As his full body entered the whole place he gasped. It was like entering a time warp and be in a place not known to him, like being in a storybook. And the scent of all sorts of different flowers and Allah-knows-what-else hit him hard and made him giddy. This was just to good to be half as real.
Quatre balanced himself and walked to the direction of what seemed to be the front entrance to the whole compound, or estate, or whatever you might call it. As he neared the main door he was overwhelmed at the intricate carving and the gold inlays that graced the door, and as he stepped in, he just couldn't believe that he was still walking on and not waking up from a dream.... or if its a dream, he wouldn't bother waking up just then.
Marble floors, high french doors at every sides of the room, ornaments from rare and precious jade, seats from the softest satin and from the smoothest silk, tables from the oldest mahogany and from the grandest oaks, crystal chandeliers that projected the setting sun in a brilliant way it dances across the room, tapestries and five inches thick of snug persian carpets... all of those overwhelmed him,
until he saw a shade of silver.
/Trowa... maybe I could ask.../
So he stepped out into the side of the building, bracing himself for the grandness of the garden, and he misjudge himself... he could never really know what made this place, so captivating. The way the garden was created and arranged, the array of different flowers, common and exotic, ones he had never seen before, and trees, willows and oaks, bamboo and mahogany, the zen rock garden, and the lush brook...
and....
a platinum haired angel...
a fallen angel...
he held his breath...
The sun was setting when Zechs finally woke up from his slumber. He was still lying on the bed of sweet smelling grass that lulled him almost back to sleep. Such irony. Awaken from a bad dream and wanting to go back to it. He could feel his face lightly caked with salty tears which he had no reminiscence as when he cried... must be in his sleep... but he did remember sleeping with heaviness in his heart. And here he was...
waking again...
alone...
again...
He sighed and literally picking himself from the ground and hastily dressing himself. A quick dip in the brook was enticing enough for him to discard his garments seconds after putting them on. He grew to like water... the idea of...
He shrugged himself of those thoughts.
/Get a life, Zechs... Treize still need you for his paperworks... at least.../
/and his bed... at least.../
and he could feel his tears trickling down again.
/And where is he when I need him beside me?/
He clenched his fists and pounded the water, sending it splashing all over the place, his whole body, and water dripped across his face, cold water against blistering tears.
/what makes you think he'll like you to be with him all over his life?/
/he has Une, for God's sake.../
/what makes you think he'll want a male for his whole life?/
/if there is a perfect female for him?/
He tried to battle feelings and intellect, tried to battle private life against his professional one, tried to deny the facts and the illusion, tried all he could to convince himself... but as always it's down to a harsh reason of:
/ ... and who wants you? who wants a criminal? a cold blooded mass murderer?/
and he slumped into his knees, the water level moved up to his chest, his hands covering his streaming face, his hair floated like masses of silver around him, the setting sun illuminated him with its last rays...
if one saw him, they would see a fallen angel...
if one saw him, they would see the world's end...
if one saw him...
but...
one did...
and the one who saw him...
was an angel himself...
Quatre walked slowly to the lip of the brook, which was lapped slowly by the small waves. He was contemplating what he should do. The man looked so broken and sad, he wondered why. He stepped on a dry branch and bit his lip as he saw the effect on the grieving man.
The man snapped and turned sharply to look at his direction. He thought the world stopped moving. His breath was caught.
Those blue eyes...
That platinum hair...
That shoulder,
That chest...
The rivulets of water,
mingling with silver tears...
He could never understand how a man could be as perfect, in grief. Grief made this man even more ethereal...
He could never understand, how someone would have the air of such masculinity and such air of gentleness...
Zechs was too preoccupied with his thoughts that he snapped around as he heard the splitting of dried branch. He had not a second to think when he saw who confronted him.
A beautiful boy...
an angel...
Why would an angel be here?
in this place?
the complexion so soft
and kind
those round soft blue eyes
the golden headed boy that looks like a radiant sun
but as soft as moonlight
why would an angel be in such a place
of lust and of grief?
And for a while,
time stopped...
two angels
one from heaven
one fallen...
Quatre found his tongue first of all, and whispered, for he could not bring himself to speak loud enough. His voice became loose whispers even for himself.
"Why... are..."
The man in front of him just shook his head. Quatre understood. He kept his silence and stood there, as near as he could be but not to crowd. He thought it would be nice to give this grieving man a sense
of company that he could turn to when needed. He know of that sort of grief... a sad, lonely grief.
Minutes by minutes pass, the sun sets slower in the dreaded silence, the wind stilled and the chirp of birds disappeared. All what was left was the sickly hue of blood red and the heavy air that surrounded the garden. The water lost its brilliance, the garden became dull, the minutes became more unbearable.
The weigh of the air had obviously taken toll to Zechs' delicate balance of sanity and self control. His sobs became more and more obvious, his body trembled in greater intensity, his thoughts became more muddled, spin offs from his past, from his childhood, his adolescence, war in space, war in love, in his heart, his guilt, his happiness, his life...
FatherMotherRelenaTreizeNoinUneDarlianHeeroTrowaSoldiersFriendsFoes...
all of them crowded the minor space in his mind, forcing themselves on him, and creating craters in the shield he had built over the years, shields that prevented him from any absurd emotions, creating
hollows in the walls that he had set up to prevent memories and sickening thoughts...
and he watched as the walls crumbled down, he watched as his shields were taken down...
then he felt warmth around him, a shift of fabric that was against his bare body, and small, but strong hands around him, comforting him, but there are no words to be spoken, no exchange of unnecessary
language... all there is are mutuality, and understanding...
of an angel...
Zechs looked up to the concerned figure whose eyes are twinkling as bright as the morning star, carrying the sense of cheerfulness and concern, the sense of boyish maturity, of understanding, and he sank
into the welcoming touch...
he sighed...
Seeing the figure became more disoriented, Quatre contemplated more to get nearer. And his heart urged him to move closer. So he waded into the water and approached the man in a slow motion, hoping not to
distract or surprise the man.
He looked intently onto the slightly illuminated face, and watched as it turned more and more creases came to grace the ethereal face. That made Quatre very, very concerned.
He reached the man, at last and moved closer in order to embrace the older man. He could feel the cold body against his. The body is very cold, because of the water and also from the frenzied feeling that
must be warring inside the man.
He wrapped his arms around the other, and giving some reassurance of the presence of another.
of the presence of a shoulder to cry on.
/I think, Trowa's business will just have to wait.../ Quatre mused as he felt the man leaning over him, and as he laid his chin on the other's head.
"Come, let's go to dry land..." Quatre urged softly and the man didn't say anything but tried to move synchronisedly with his support.
As they reached dry land, Quatre fished the piece of cloth and covered the shivering body, and set him down.
"Thank you..." Zechs said, his eyes glittering in gratitude.
"My pleasure..." Quatre replied, his voice carried genuine concern and he smiled. Zechs returned the smile with a smile of his own and looked up to the moon that had come after the sun sets. His visage
was bathed silver, complementing his platinum hair.
Quatre held his breath as he witnessed the smile, and the picture that he painted with the moonlight. Didn't look as if he belong to the real world at all.
Quatre shivered as the night claim the land. Zechs looked up and saw the slight shiver and smiled.
"Come here..." he motioned in a soft voice, as he lifted himself and walked into the building. Zechs didn't have to turn back as he could sense the younger one followed him in calculated steps.
Quatre gaped for the zilliionth time that day, as he walked into what seemed to be a chamber. High ceilings, seamless marble tiles, great expanse of rooms, regal pillars, white washed walls, cushions and
silky curtains...
He looked up in amazement to the man, who had changed into a loose fitting robe. The man was no longer in frantic or depression, but a very collected, cool composure, smiling gently to him.
"Thank you..." he heard the man said.
"That's okay. I..." Quatre mused for a while whether to ask the whereabouts of Trowa or just stay here and keep company.His brow creased in deep thoughts. Then he felt weight on his left shoulder.
"Is there anything wrong?"
There was concern in the man's voice.
"Just... thinking..." he didn't know what to say.
"About your friend? Trowa?"
Quatre's eyes widen in shock, "How...."
The smile was bitter, as the man moved further from Quatre, standing at the balcony door, his vision far beyond, something like longing...
"I know... he came here, before you, he told about having a friend, a caring one, a nice one... and I thought you must be... you fit in the description and the fact you cared so much."
Quatre couldn't say anything but stayed silent.
"Friends..." he heard the soft silvery voice of the man, again. "Is this what friends are like?"
Quatre closed his eyes, and he could swore he felt glints of silver from the being in front of him, a silver shadow...
pale silver,
silver of sadness,
angel's silver,
fallen angel...
an angel without a friend.
Quatre made his mind up and moved closer to the man. "Are you that lonely? Without friends and family?"
"..." no answer but silence.
Quatre looked up and looped his hands around the slender neck of the other, pulling the silver head down and pressed his lips against the other's.
And they tumbled over into oblivion.
Zechs could feel the sense of friendship,
the sense of heaven...
he could almost hear himself thanking whatever gods there are in that place...
for the angel they sent.
I woke up as the morning announced itself to me, as the shower of sun light poured into the room, creating light shadows of gold and silver.
I rolled over onto my side and gasped as I saw who laid there beside me...
and I remembered
/i've been around
being lost and found
then i found myself in your eyes
i thought it was just one more night on the town
then i realise, i realise/
I remembered the time when I felt my sanity was slowly leaving me, when my mind created images that destroyed my bastion of strength, the wave of memories that made the walls and shields in my mind crumble helplessly...
I remembered his smile, his embrace, I remembered our face so close together, as he pulled me closer, hot breath against hot breath, and lips against lips...
I remembered my fears... the fear of waking up alone,
but I am...
/sleeping with an angel
he makes me feel so good
sleeping with an angel
i didn't know i could/
His soft touches sent my life fluttering away,
His soft kisses creates little butterflies that razed my veins.
His hands on my chest,
His lips on my neck...
So sweet,
the taste of friendship...
of love and care...
like the things I've been dreaming of,
but could never achieve it...
/but ive done to many wrongs
sung to many songs
to be sleeping with an angel
sleeping with an angel/
i could not understand, why he would come with me and comfort me, be my strength and help me find answers.
How can an angel could want to be with me? a murderer, a feelingless person...
So I gave it a try, maybe out of selfishness, or the masochist in me, or pure undulated feelings, I told him who I am...
the Lightning Baron, the cold blooded murderer, a killing machine... soldier of OZ..
but he smiled up to me and said
"no matter who you are"
"the Lightning Baron, the killer"
"doesn't matter whether your heart is as cold as the stone"
"as hard as the hardest rock"
"you are human"
"in need of a friend"
"and I am here to be one"
"even for one night"
"and a battlefield in the next"
/ive been in love
and ive seen it all fall apart
ive hurt so badly
and ive hurt someone just as badly
i didnt think i could ever feel love again/
I've loved a man, strong and imposing, a friend of long standing, someone who cared... but I witnessed it crumble, the love that we built.
Crumbled because of my insecurity, more than anything,
falling apart...
I felt my heart fell apart,
I heard his fell apart,
as I drifted away from him, trying to keep our relationship as professional as possible, avoiding those soft callings, avoiding that longing. And I could see him and me...
trapped in the foolishness I made,
and I am too proud to admit,
this aching heart, the yearning to be together...
/and in your eyes i see the light
of a million candles burning bright/
I thought I could live by my own, I thought I could survive alone, but one look inside your eyes, one look inside the life in your eyes, that glisten so bright,
i understood...
that one can't live alone without love,
and a friend is most cherished
and care, and love, and all those things that I had never considered before... those things called friendship that I considered as a weakness, friendship that I've never dare tried to have...
for fear of being left alone...
I'm afraid, as the war heightened, that Treize and I will be separated by death, and of my selfish thought trying to release myself from that...
but I understand, friendship is more than mortal, it lives forever, in the heart...
/am sleeping with an angel
he makes me feel so good
sleeping with an angel
i didnt know i could/
As his touches became more intense, as my life became more refreshed, we are drawn together into the game of love,
the shadows of our bodies cast onto the wall,
dancing to the candles and the wind,
searching each other,
hands on another,
touches so soft,
hands against wet skin...
kisses so ferocious...
bruising skin bright red
burning it with passion
I could feel him wrapping his mouth against one nipple,
I could feel the heat between my legs...
I could feel his hardness against mine,
I could feel care around his touches...
/but ive done too many wrongs
sung too many songs
to be sleeping with an angel
sleeping with an angel/
My mind raced, as he entered mine, as he ran his hands along my length, as he whispered soothing words. My mind ran across the plains of memories, across all the happiness I had, and the sadness of loss, across the living and the dead...
As we seek release, I believe that there are things of the future...
As the sun poured more into the room,
as the sun shone brighter,
I believe in a future of friendship...
As I closed my eyes,
Feeling the warmth of the angel beside me,
My fears have disappeared,
Not waking up alone,
But with a friend,
Inside my heart.
QUATRE
I could feel him stir beside me, I could feel his body next to me...
Trowa, if you knew...
There is a beauty called friendship and need...
And there is this angel,
a fallen one,
so beautiful.
Life.
and
Death.
But Life himself.
He gave me a reason to live, he gave me the strength to be the strength for you.
Trowa...
where are you?
>>>owari!
next... is Wufei and Zechs... any special request? and comments are very, very welcome.
<>< JejeFish!
comment fish <><
Part 4
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