Ah.. otay... this is the third part of "The Road to Take" following "Time".

All disclaimers that you can think of applies here. Decided to make this not yaoi, but... who knows...

The Road to Take3: One Breath by Jeje Fish


by: Church of Rhythm


/life is hard
but its been a little hard than usual lately/

I tucked Miliard into his bed. It's still early in the day, the sun is pouring into his room like millions of shards of golden diamonds. I was putting the silver framed picture of his late father on the alcove when he whispered, "Thanks for being with me all this while, Treize..."

I flinched when I heard his voice. I think after crying his heart out, it hurts to say things out more than a whisper. Even whispering hurts.

I strode to his side and swept his soft platinum hair aside. I planted a small kiss on his forehead like I always do when we were small, it reminded him of his family, warmth and kindness, and brotherhood we share. He smiled.

Life is hard. And I walked out from the room.

/i wish i knew why i am struggling through this/

I caught Wufei's shadow as I closed the great oak doors slowly. He looked at me worriedly. Never thought he would care. For me, for Zechs. I shook my head and lead the way to my room, at the other end of the hallway.

/what makes it harder is
the lack of understanding on my part
could i have changed this
why am i fighting life so hard/

"it's a hard choice for him, isn't it?" I heard Wufei asked, as I sunk into my chair, sighing heavily.

"like hell it is. And it is hard for me as well! to see my best friend, my only true friend suffering. These cursed blood of ours. nobility, royalty... such curse on it..."

Wufei didn't say anything. He knew me well. Like Miliard. We don't have to say anything to make our feeling known.

i turned to the working table at the end of the room and sat behind it. I started skimming through my paperwork. Vacation or not, work is always there. Following me like its demon sent.

/how long can i survive this
i'm losing my strength to try
tell me how am i supposed to live through this
how do we get back/

"You are burdening yourself. Cut it out." Wufei placed a cup of rose tea before me. I looked up at him and stared.

"Me? Abandon paperwork?"

Wufei shrugged. "I didn't say that. I said it's killing you. Both of you! Zechs and you! burrowing yourself into misery! I understand he is in a dilemma. Now you!"

I was in shock that I can't say anything.

"If you think you want to help Zechs out, stop zombifying yourself. Take it easy..." Wufei reached to the table and pulled the stacks of paper out of my reach.

The feeling of dejavu is very sickening. So familiar. Then I realised it's not a dejavu. Miliard did this so many times. Rebuking me of stressing myself on my work, zombifying myself. I remebered what he said:

/take 1 breath, let it out
we take another in somehow
everything'll work out to be just fine
we take life
5 minutes at a time/

"cool it, Treize." as he pulled my paperworks away. "You'll be dead before you got married. What'll Une say?"

He dumped the papers on the floor, well far away from my reach. "You know, it's not like you're the only human here." He said as he sat on the chair opposite me. "Me, Une, Noin, the other subordinates... make use of us! Some friend I've got. The next time I'll see you, I'll think I've just earned a walking mummy for a friend." He sighed.

There is a passing silence between us, before he stood up and dragged me on my feet. The soles of my feet caught pins and needles as soon as they hit the ground firmly. I grasped Miliard's hands tightly. He didn't say anything, but I know from he's eyes, he's rebuking me.

"Come on... we'll go find some fresh air." he said, as he supported me out.

/life is hard
it didn't turn out like i hoped it would be/

I snapped back into the present. Looking into Wufei's rebuking eyes. Those dark orbs stared in concern.

"What can I do, Wufei? I am useless, am I?"

"No, you are not. Not unless you lose yourself."

"Be with him, stick with him, Treize."

I sighed again. I have been sighing a lot lately, I thought. Stick with him, be his strength. Like those five gundam pilots. Stick with one another, be one another's strength.

/and i don't dare to dream
dreaming leads to this
coz when its left to me
its hard to see how the skies becoming dark/

But I learnt not to look to far into the future. It could go better or worse. It is too unpredictable. I walked towards the white grand piano in the centre of the room and opened the cover.

I tested the notes and tunes and quickly blend myself into my dreams. Into *our* dream. Mine and his. A tune from our childhood.

Heavy Trills. The beginning. Climbing our way through hardship, hand in hand.
Pizzicato. The part of life we love.
Staccato. The disagreements we share. The short silence we usually
have, the short shouts.
Legato. Our continuing friendship. His shoulder is mine to cry on.
Mine is his to cry on.
Piano. His soft wisdom, my soft feeling. Intermingling.
Forte. Our highest point of life. Me a general in the OZ. He's the Lighthing Baron. Both feared.
Sforzando. The accentuated days and nights. Of timeless paperworks,
countless balls and dances, hourless exchange of the stories of our love life.
Allegro. Our fast paced life, where one turn changed into another outcome at the blink of an eye.
Andante. Our nights slow and torturing. Darkness that never ends.

/if it makes no difference
why am i trapped between my heart/

It dawned to me that we have little difference. It is the song we share, the meadows we share, the life we share... Friends forever. So why this heaviness in heart. A premonition?

/i come back from that and fall again
it feels like a hundred times
how do i believe in a hundred and one
when we stumble from night to night/

I feel my heart grew heavier. Tears forcing their way out. I tried not to. I try to forbid them of coming out. Our life. It is too heavy to bear alone. Everytime I fall, I could always count on someone who'll pick me up.

Then, I jerked back into reality, as a soft hand placed on my shoulders. I looked up, half expecting to see Miliard. Who always walk back and pick me up. But there is Wufei. Another friend. We are not alone. We share our lives.

And he said, "Let it out, Treize." And the dam broke.

/take 1 breath, let it out
we take another in somehow
everything'll work out to be just fine
we take life
5 minutes at a time/

"cool it, Treize." I think he said it for the thousandth time. This time when I lost my temper on one subordinate. Not for his fault, but mainly because my mood swings. The stack of paperwork and countless pre-war meeting. It edged into my nerves, and snapping out feels good.

I turned around, trying not to lift a hand and slapped the platinum blond man. From the corner of my eyes I saw him mouthing an apology to the dejected private and waving him off.

I felt his hands on me. "You're a panda, Treize." he handed me a small mirror he had along him nowadays, mostly to remind me of my disheveledness. I saw a person like me staring back. With black rings around my eyes and stubble forming on my face.

"How long have you've been staying awake. How many nights you skipped?"

I wanted to lie, but words flow unbidding, "three." it croaks.

"easy there... and all the way you told me you've got it all handled and even ordered me, Noin and Une to train those people?! This is *nothing*?" He let a gasp of disbelieve. I braced myself for his lecture, but none came.

Instead he closed his arms around me and dragged me out of the office.

"You sleep, Treize, sir!" as he tucked me in bed. He smiled and said, "Leave the rest to me and the bunch!" his cheerful smile graced his face.

I didn't even got time to say anything when I slumped into deep warmth sleep.

/to go on living
but all you look for is gone
to find faith in everything
you know about life
might be wrong /

I looked at Wufei who smiled in reverie. Wufei and Miliard. People who cared. People who would be here when I need them. Friendship in different ways. A passion for the same, in a different way. Each one of us.

We love, in a different way
Affection, in a different way
Care, in a different way
Warmth, in a different way

When I think I had enough
They are there. Assuring.
In their own way.

/to find hope in the dark
to still believe there's a time
this is the curse that make a life
it is the strength to go on/

In this war of ours, where life are lost, and mourning rang clear in the air, where darkness fell, where hope seems lost. There is the little light that everyone share.

Peace, in the Colony's way
Peace, in Kusherenada's way
Peace, in Peacecraft's way
Peace...


and Friendship...

~tbc~

<>< JejeFish!



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