25 Feb 2000 Okay, JejeFish promise the next part will be the Crossover part. and no more angst as Vries is going to take on from there. Of course if she could get over the Zechs-lookalike client, no da. If not, you'll have to bear with more angst. And to those who wanted the person's photograph we will try to get his photograph, under duress or not! so be prepared!! eheheh Ehe. NEways, angst, OOC, AU and all the above. Traces of ShounenAi and Yaoi. And the crazy romp session of JejeFish. As always Planning and original idea is from Vries, but as she is occupied in other things, JejeFish is doing her a biggie favour. Nature's Call by: Vries and JejeFish ----------------------- Based on "Wind Song" by: Cynthia du Pontavie Interlude 2: Treize -------------------- /grief by grief and page by page throw this book away now the sadness of the rain throw this book away/ Three days after Milliard's funeral. Relena had handed over the meager number of his belongings to me, feeling that Milliard would want Treize to have it. In between those, is a leather bound journal. Milliard's own diary. I smiled. A bitter one, as I pore through the book. Childhood memories, our relationship. And from one of the pages a note slipped out. It was for me. Sort of a will, a request. No one shall have it, the memories are just memories that are too shameful to be kept through out history. A bitter memory for both of us, better be swept away by the fire. /rip out the binding and tear the glue now all the grief we never even knew we had it all along now its smoke/ I strode to the fireplace, tearing each page with care and fed it to the burning fire. The pages lifted the life out of the crackling, dying fire. Then it went to full blaze. I read each pages of Milliard's life, of his thoughts, of his grief. A trickle of tear left my eyes. I would never have guessed. Those secrets untold. Of the unspoken love, of the undeclared love. And now its too late. /the things we written in it never really happen no, the things we written in it never really happen/ As the fire consumed those pages, as the book grew thinner and the fire grew more restless. The memories drifted away. First, our childhood disappeared, then our early adolescence. Our fiery love, our forbidden dreams. Everything we shared. Now gone. The silent testimony now silent forever. Being a pile of ashes, unreadable. In the fire. /nor were the people come and gone never really lived all the people come have gone no one to forgive smoke/ Treize, Milliard, King Peacecraft, Relena, Countess, Duke Dermail, Noin, Dorothy, Wufei, Heero, the Foundation, the Colonies. They had ceased to exist. No more, as the papers became the fuel of the burning coals. As the heat from the fire heightened. No one else. No one left. As the memories burn away. I sat there, thoughtlessly ripping away the pages, thoughtlessly crying away. If only I knew, if only Milliard would tell. But we are too alike, we are too different at once. We now would never know, would never be together. And no one is actually dead wrong. Nothing could turn back time. Not with the whole power in this world, not even with my ranks, nothing will get Milliard back. /we will not write a new one there will not be a new one another one/ I hesitated and then walked to my desk and retrieved another leather bound journal. Mine. The great general Kusherenada's diary. We are alike, we are different. And I walked back to the fireplace. And start ripping off the book, slowly training my eyes onto my own handwriting, onto my own memory. And each ripped page, each words, renewed the heaviness in this heart. So many things are alike. My longing of a certain platinum blond aide-de-camp, and Milliard's longing to a certain tawny, ginger haired commander. Nights of restless dreams, nights of hoping, stolen glances and silent hopes. Of hope, of silence, of wounds and pain. We are too alike. And now all's gone. Eaten by the same fire. Mingling in the same smoke. There shall never be a testimony to our love anymore. Not in writing, nor in anybody's mind, only ours. Our stubbornness, our love and longing, are only ours to remember. /here's uneven dark with shame blowing all the fire here's a time I took the blame going on the pyre/ The book in my hand disappeared, being fed fully into the fires, my hands felt empty, my heart felt empty. And still I hoped of someone there, beside me, putting his hands on my shoulders. Enclosing me with his warmth. Not Wufei, but Milliard. Not Zechs, but Milliard. Years and years of war had made us drift apart. Years of blood thristy war, years of missions had made us drift apart. Do you hate me for choosing Wufei, you didn't say. Nor in writing. Do I blame myself for choosing him. I don't know. I needed someone, someone who understand, someone who believe. I choose him. Maybe I am wrong, to both of you, Wufei and Milliard. And now staring into the flames, my heart felt empty. I missed you, I love you, I need you. And I only know that after you died. Maybe I am wrong. And I know I am. I should have not raise the issue of Greian, not after what he did to you. He's now in court martial, but that was too late, wasn't it? Nothing can bring you back to me. No one can lull me back to sleep, no one can cover for me when I needed you. No one can ever put up with me again. Maybe I am wrong, and selfish, brushing you away like I did, and forgetting about you. Because you were so close to me, I didn't even feel you there. You're like my life I didn't even noticed. Not until you died. And I am to take the blame. Every single blame on your life. /here is the time we didn't speak for years and years here's a secret that one never know the reason for the tears they are smoke/ I love you I still do. This is one secret that I've never say. I cry for you, I cried for our lost childhood, our adolescence when the world only belongs to us. I cried for the war that took us apart. I cried for every strand of life, of every love I have, of every love we share. Now all memories were no more. They are smoke. /where do all the secrets live they travel in the air you can smell the wind they burn in travel/ Somehow the smoke travelled up, through the bleak chimney into the cold weather outside. Embracing heaven. Where he would be. And he will see, our secrets, mingling together in one smoke. My dreams and yours, burnt together in one fire. Burnt together. Forever. Can you feel it, Milliard. Can you feel my love for you? /know to say the past has not happen stop and smell the smoke you keep saying say the past is not ever stop and smell the smoke you keep on saying the past is not even past/ Echoes of the past, your words. There are no past, we live for the present, There's no past just the present. That way we are still sane. Memories were on the paper, the past were on paper. And now, they were all burnt away. True, there would be no more past, just today, no more tomorrow just today. No more life, without him. And I am foolish enough not to understand that. /you keep saying the past is not ever/ I looked out from the french doors, past the piles of snow, past the shimmering pine trees, into the skies. Up to the blue skies. As blue as his eyes. As clear as his eyes. Milliard. Milliard. My love. Then I could feel warmth around me, like someone embracing. Like him embracing me. I recognised his love, I recognised his touch. I closed my eyes and leaned back to his embrace... One, two, three, and he was gone. Chill swept, as the warmth went away. Swept by the wind, with our memories, and our love. /weep on smoke/ I looked back to the fireplace, the fire dying away, and out to the skies which bore the grey smoke from the chimney. Cry, weep away, for the memory all gone. And I could swear I heard him say, "I love you, Aishiteru. Zutto." I smiled I cried. "I love you." I could hear the wind projecting his voice, on the silver bells and the sparkling streams, "Be happy for me, for I love you." And I cried for the whole of my life. "I love you too." --- "Smoke" Song and Lyrics (C) by Ben Folds Five to be continued to Part 1 --- okay... next part, promise no more severe angst, the BH/GW crossover, and all. But do tell us (me, whoever) what you think. Onegai?