22-Feb-2000 Subject: Tabletop Manners was Puckrobyn's Ficcy Challenge! From: Vries Ilya de la Croix This is a joint effort of ultimate craziness by me and JejeFish, over lunchtime period. We're damn hungry and so our brains didn't really have enough nutrients, so forgive us. A bit of shounen-ai, but if you blink its gone! Tabletop Manners or: Lunchtime Madness ********************* Its a sunny day, back in Quatre's mansion. No mission, no trainings, no one else, just the five of them, lazing and having fun. Basking in the sunlight, chatters and deep talks, secrets being shared, anything, just like what friends do. Rashid came and collect them for lunch when the grandfather clock struck one in the afternoon. And all were led into the massive dining room of the Winner's mansion. Food, endless number of food, wine, and other delcacies spread on the long table, each to suit each pilot's favourite food. A complete Japanese bentou for Heero, American burgers and chips (i know they are called french fries~Vries), Rib Steak for Trowa, Chicken Korma for Quatre and Black Pepper steak for Wufei. Also other types of pattiseries, exotic fruits and the rest. All the pilots except, of course, Quatre gaped at the simple luxury of the dining table and how it was laden with all sorts of food, and yes, they are hungry of course. The aroma of the food carried by the air seemed to lure five hungry boys to the table. "Itadakimasu!" exclaimed the five and they started eating. Duo being Duo, gave out comments as he ate bit by bit. "Oh my god, oh my god, this is just soooo nice. Quatre you have a really good cook," Quatre smiled and Duo continued on,"And these fries, they are just so ni~ce" and he took a cruchy bite after he dipped it in the rich tomato ketchup. "Hmmm~~" Wufei looked up as he heard the loud 'KERRUNCH' of those fried potatoes. "Duo can I try some?" "Sure! you'll love it. Really." and he passed some to the chinese pilot. Wufei took one and glanced down at three long strips of golden fried potato. "What is so special about this anyway?" he eyed the food. "Just try and eat it, kay?!" Wufei brought down his chopsticks and tried to take one of those with it. For one reason or another the fries managed to slip past and seemed not willing to be taken. The Chinese pilot seemed to lose his patience after a while and seize the fried strip of potato with his fingers and dip it into the ketchup and shove it into his mouth. A smile spread across his face as the loud 'KERRRUNCH' sounded across the air. "Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."And he proceeded eating in silence. Duo however, somehow couldn't keep his silence for very long, grabbed some more hamburgers, stuffed loads inside his mouth and chattering at the same time, "Dis wis gweat. I wove fwood vwewy mucch, me stwomwach wis dwamn hwangghry." While saying so, he didn't realise some food flew of and splattered onto Heero, who was sitting next to him. "Shut up and eat, Duo." "Oh yeah?" Duo said after he gulped his food, now his words more legible. "I am only commenting on the skills of Quatre's chef! and what have you to shut me up?" Quatre stuck his tongue out. Heero seized the nearest thing to him and waved him infront of Duo threateningly, "*I* can bend mind with spoons." He said in a grim way. Duo stared at Heero, then back to the so called spoon, again back to Heero and laughed. The other pilots were trying to supress their grins as well. "Spoons, maybe, but not banana!" Heero looked at the article in his hands and felt his face burning red. Quatre in his giggles said, "Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him." Duo did what he was told, snatching the ripe banana from Heero's surprised hand, and peeled it off and eat it, "You have now rendered him helpless." Quatre said. "And Duo, silence please." "Fine." a short grumble, and silence reigned in the dining room. *** commercial break: Silence: of all places to Reign! a dining room!!! *argggh* V+J: shhhhhhhhh! *** The main course were cleared and deserts were brought in. Chocolate parfait and fortune cookies. "Fortune coookies!" Duo exclaimed. much the same as how Cookie Monster would exclaim. He took his and broke it open, and read out loud, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, and so would an 80 lb. carrot." "Wuaaaa! I have to show this to the Colonies. I have too much work and needed rest! very good!" Everyone in the room just stared at the L2 pilot and shaking his head. "I'd rather be rich than stupid." Quatre said with a sigh. "Stupid?! Me?! Stupid?! Aw come on, Quatre!!!" "SHUT UP!" came Heero's voice, "Why can't anyone keep quiet? There is always one more imbecile than you counted on." Heero shook his head. "Imbecile, me?!" Duo started again, but then earned a death glance from Heero. Duo sank into his seat. He had raged his koi yet again. "Mine is nonsense." said Heero. "It read: 'Life's short and hard, kind of like a bodybuilding elf'" a pause, "as if I don't know." and he flung the paper on top of the table, sighing. Wufei looked up, and sighed, "Whats with these fortune cookies? Mine is a complete nonsense too, it says, 'Carpe diem - Seize the day; Carp in denim - There's a fish in my pants!'" Wufei looked around, "I understand about the seizing the day part, but the Carp in Denim part is just a stupid joke. Really, Quatre, where do you get these from?" Quatre just shrugged, his face also saying, 'I have no idea, too.' "All right then, mine now." Came Trowa's voice. "This is very long, I wonder whether they've misplaced it or what. But Heero might know the answer. Its a bit of science." Heero lifted an eyebrow in inquiry. Trowa said, "It read: 'If the circumference of a circle is the distance around the edge of it, and the diameter is the distance through that same circle, how many licks does it take to get to the centre of a tootsie roll toastie pop?" Trowa looked up at Heero who's staring, "You know, Heero?" Heero shook his head dazedly, Trowa sighed, "I guess questions could remain unanswered sometimes, I am a circus member, not a scientist." Trowa placed the paper on the table, and turned to Quatre, "now what do you have?" Quatre smiled sweetly, "Well, something that you could easily do for me." Trowa, imitating Heero the second before, raised his eyebrow, elegantly. Quatre smiled again and showed his paper to Trowa while reading it out loud. "If you're standing on your head, and you pull your pants down, is that really such a bad thing?" Trowa smiled and kissed Quatre lightly, "No, its not." *** OWARI! There. We tried our best, but we still have these two at the bottom left. Sorry! And yes we know the attempt is crap. Sorry, once again! Luv, Vries and JejeFish! > *Small, green leafy bodies, long tongues drooling over sharp incisors, they > weren't human, they were brussel sprouts, killer brussel sprouts. > *Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: > "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". > What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.