April 2000
Standard Disclaimers... Warning: yaoi, lemon
Sitting on the greens of the fields, watching the reluctant summer sun dipped into the horizon, watching the birds flock back into their resting nests and the nocturnal ones stuck their heads up from their burrows and blinked their beady eyes in anticipation. Listening to the timeless wisdom of the owls’ hoots, and the nightingales.
I used to think I had all the patience in the world, but as I saw the silver moonlight, full and round, hanging unabashed against the darkest velvet backdrop, I thought I’m nowhere near it. I was just faking it. My heart raced as it never raced before. The yearning and longing had been so painful I barely could control it.
One thing I began to understand was that, he had been the source of comfort and patience over the years. But I am going to meet him again, now, today, tonight.
Another agonising minute passed, and,
"Treize?"
I spun around, too eagerly for my liking, and saw his striking silhouette against the wind. He was wearing blacks tonight, black turtleneck and black corduroy and black boots, instead of his White Fang uniform I always saw him in. His pale platinum hair gleamed against the black.
"Milliard."
"You asked me to come."
"And you came."
He sat beside me on the cool grass, and looked at me straight in the eyes. "Why?"
"I missed you, Milliard."
"I thought we had nothing to do with each other already."
I sighed. He hated me. I knew it fully, as clear as crystal. But a part of me wouldn’t want to let go. "This will be the last, Milliard. You want me out of your life, fine. I’ll give it to you."
"Is this what you call me out here for?"
"you hated me that much, Milliard? That you don’t want to be here at all?"
He looked at me silently for a while and smiled sadly. He shook his head slowly in abandon, which made me wonder.
"I think.." he started, "you’re the one who misjudged me, Treize. If I want not of your companionship, I wouldn’t even be bothered to come. I never wanted anything but you, Treize, but you must also know by now the situation is not ours to control"
"Would you not want to come back, Milliard? Be by my side?"
"I can’t, Treize. You know well, I can’t."
"But we’re fighting for the same cause, Milliard." There’s a twang of not understanding in his voice. A sense of begging perhaps.
"I can’t, Treize. There are many tomorrows, but only one future. So please. I made up my mind. Gods, Treize. Don’t make it hard for me, for both of us."
We sat silently, watching the unmoving silver moon, casting eerie shadows upon the slow dancing trees and the two humans, lost.
"Do you want to know why I came, Treize?"
I had just opened his mouth when he claimed it for himself. His slow tongue swirled lazily across my pliant lips. I moaned in delight, my nerves and veins started to burst into life, remembering those oh-so-familiar caresses, whispers and touches. I compliantly opened my mouth and let his warm tongue explore my warm cave. The heat spreads unevenly across my body, and now feeling faint. Drifting towards an unknown plain of ecstasy and pain of heart.
The kiss seemed to last for eternity, or at least both hoped it would. But then, air would still be a necessity. "You know why.." He said, as he tried to recollect his bearing. "Its because I wanted you. A memory of you."
"Can you not just stay? Forever together?" it’s a tough luck I’m pushing and I knew well what the answer would be. Even as I refused to give into the reality.
"You and I both know, Treize. Don’t lie to yourself again." He moved forward and nipped on my right earlobe. "There is nothing more you can do," and a lick, "There’s nothing more I can offer."
And spasms of delight were transmitted through every platelets of blood inside my vein, but like a set of morse codes across the Atlantic, also bearing the long dreaded message.
I love you.
My jacket flew away to a distant corner. His followed.
I need you.
His shirt and mine. I could feel the chill of night’s still wind against my bare body, even a minute, as he pressed on me.
I want you.
His pants and underpants. my pants and underpants... completely naked, pressed together, burning with desire.
I crave for you.
He enclosed my lips once again, trailing delights and hunger all over, bruising it and nursing it all the same. Loving the taste of need. The pang. I opened my mouth and let his tongue slid in, the same time as his callused hands roam in my hair, down to the nape of my neck, pressing me closer and closer to the welcoming warmth in the cool night..
I breathe for you.
I suppressed my breathe as the achingly familiar hands moved to the front of my body, to the juncture of my neck, and trailed the one finger down to the middle of my ribcage, and up again, and roamed all around me. The heat spread like molten lava sent little shivers down my spine. As he rolled those hard rock nipples between his fingers, I shuddered involuntarily, pressing my body deeper, searching for the one thread of sanity left.
I live for you.
His hands traveled lower and lower, across the taut muscles of my abdomen, soothing those knots as he went, and as he releases my mouth to trail hot, wet kisses, on the places his finger had left. I took hold of his strands of hair, and pressed him hard onto my fevered skin, wanting more, wanting his touches and caresses to burn me.
I ache for you.
"Milliard.." a soft sigh, and a throbbing wanting, as his agile fingers worked their way to the demanding manhood. As the first butterfly caress met the heated flesh, I shot my hips upwards with a small, demanding hiss. He smiled against my abdomen, "I.." his voice encased the air, and sent it like rivulets of water on the hot desert sand, sending passionate hisses, and then its gone, leaving my being to crave for more.
I long for you.
His fighter’s hands started to stroke my hungry rod into life. Gentle lines across the sides of it, and into the deepest of all wishes, into the sweetest of all dreams, his mouth slid even lower, joining the hands, and kissed the tip of my desire. The older one arched his back,
I dreamt of you.
"Do you want me in you?" He asked softly, as I could only nod and make incoherent ‘yes’es, my ears strained to hear more, my body ached for more, my tight opening sprang to being, my desire leapt up that I could barely think, could barely breathe. My mind hazed in ecstasy as he surrendered my all.
I wished for you.
My body, mind, and feeling numbed, when I wished them not. I wanted to feel, everything, each elusive sensation, ramming into my mind, spreading my heart, opening my eyes, putting words on my tongue, and send me spiralling up into the heavens, and...
I cried my tears.
Of love.
Then, in the voidness, in the numbness, in the midst of the curious chirping of night grasshoppers, the enticing song of the nightingales, the lazy stare of the millenia’s old owls, I could feel the cool/warm grass touched me softly, my whole front body. He leant softly towards my frame, molding his frame into the mine. Whispering words of assurance he placed his own strained erection against my opening.
I declared my words.
Of love.
"Mlliard!"
As he entered, as he claimed the desires, as he claimed all sanity, as he claimed all reasons and thoughts. As our body moved in one rhythm, as the music fades, as the sound of breathing reached the stars, which blinked in apparition.
I run to you.
I arched back, into the receiving hollows of him. I leaned back, and felt warm hands taking my body and suspended me in midair, blowing cool breaths across my frame, as the platinum hair, scented forests and summer engulfed all my senses.
"Come for me. Come with me."
I listen only your voice.
The strokes against the needy, the sultry coaxing, the hazed thoughts, sped the pent up longing, as it bursts in numbers, coalesced, and fell softly onto the inquisitive greens of grass.
I sighed in delight.
In abandon.
"Treize.. oh.. Treize.." I could hear him calling. Could hear the pain and yearning in the young voice. As I too, called, mirroring, and even surpassing. Telling the world, about my love, about my need, "Milliard."
"I love you."
And the soft, delightful yet curseful white, fell around me. Trying hard to get a grip with reality, trying hard to grip the warmth of his present lover, of the fullness of desire. Though I tried, I couldn’t. The whiteness of my vision, burst into myriad of colours floating and teasing, dispersing around me, engulfing me.
As i fell, limp, into my lovers arm. "Milliard." The last word, before I lost the battle, and plunged into the valley of colours. Uneasiness.
Again, I love you.
The chirps of morning birds woke me up, the wetness of morning dew tickled my body, my eyes strained against the purple of the coming of morn.
Again, I need you.
I spread far, my minds, to my nerve ends. Feeling the tingle of grass against my back, and the jacket and shirt that covered me. Feeling the delicious pain that invades my body as I moved. Feeling the emptiness..
Again, I want you.
"Milliard." I called. And I frowned. My voice was coarse, and echoed in my head. No one answered, and my senses told me, no one was around.
"Milliard."
Again, I call you.
He’s gone. Milliard’s gone. Forever. Fornever.
Again, I miss you.
And would never see each other again.
Again, I will cherish you.
So, I laid there, my back against the earth, my head watching the sky moving, shifting, from the purplish coolness, to the speckle of soft golden morning, the orange of longing, as the whiteness of the cloud began to form, and the lightness of blue sky.
And at last,
Saw the white lone moon hanging, and silently dissolving, giving in to the bright morning sun. The moon that had witnessed our fiery parting. Giving way to the sun, marking another sunny day.
And at last,
But as a speck of cloud against the pristine blue skies, my days would never be complete again. A glimmer of tears, as my vision hazed.
And at last,
Good bye.
Yesterday a friend
Tomorrow a foe
And at last
Good bye
<>< JejeFish