AC 200
It has been 6 months since Heero's death and I still can't believe it.
Every morning I wake up hoping that the whole thing was just a dream and I will see him at breakfast eating his rice without tearing his eyes off the damned laptop's screen.
However, the reality always comes back.
No more Heero. No more of his grunts and slight smiles. No more of that cool gaze.
Until six months ago, I could still hope that he'd come back, that he was just in the middle of a mission that required him to resign from the Preventers and work underground.
But it will never be true.
Face it, Death Boy. You've lost him for good.
I sit in the cafeteria alone like I have in the last six months. I used to sit and eat with Heero. Yes, he always came first and I'd join him around fifteen minutes later because I have to brush my hair thoroughly before braiding it back. Besides, he woke up damn early everyday.
I stare at the empty seat in front of me. I know the cafeteria is crowded but I hear nothing. I hear nothing from the seat in front of me. No tapping, no humming, no beeping.
Nothing.
Trowa Barton looked up as Chang Wufei pulled the seat in front of him. The Chinese put his tray on the table and sat down.
Wufei ate for five minutes before he finally broke the silence. "It's really quiet without Maxwell blabbering around."
Trowa stared back at him before he resumed his breakfast. "Yes, it is."
"Barton, we can't let this happen. Look at him now. He looks like Death himself!" Wufei gazed across the crowded cafeteria. In a secluded area, he saw that Duo Maxwell just sat and stared blankly at his sandwich. The American's face was pale, anyone could tell that he had lost a great deal of weight. "He's killing himself."
"What should we do?" His friend asked.
Wufei rested his chin on his palms, momentarily forgetting about his own breakfast. After a while, he said: "I think I have an idea."
Duo started as he heard somebody knock on his door twice. He pulled himself up numbly, walked to the door and opened it.
"How are you, Maxwell?" Wufei was standing in front of the door with a tray of food in his hand. "You haven't gotten yourself dinner, so Trowa and I thought we should bring you some," he said as he entered the room and put the tray on the table.
"...Thank you." Duo mumbled silently.
Wufei studied the room he was in. The room looked as if nobody had lived inside it for a very long time. Lack of lighting. Dust everywhere. Dirty rumpled sheets. Disordered furniture.
He observed the room's one inhabitant. Duo was now painfully skinny. There were black bags under his eyes. His face was even paler than he had thought it was. Duo's cheekbones were almost visible. Some of his hair had escaped out of the braid, making a general mess.
Duo didn't look like Death; he looked more like the DEAD!
"Maxwell, you can't go on like this forever," Wufei said harshly.
Duo stared blankly at him.
"Oh, come on! It has been six months, you should have let him go and gone on with your own life!" He almost yelled.
The seemingly dead boy didn't say anything. In fact, he didn't seem to hear anything.
The frustrated Wufei grabbed him and shook him hard. "Wake up, Maxwell! Wake up and see the world! Yuy is dead and there's nothing you can do about it. You don't have to kill yourself like this!"
The blank purple eyes stared back at him. Wufei almost flinched to see how empty those eyes were.
Those eyes reminded him of Heero's eyes during the war. When they still had to take other peoples' lives.
What had happened to the Duo Maxwell he knew? What had happened to the annoying American who couldn't be quiet unless he was asleep?
Wufei let the empty body go. He knew it was useless to talk to the other. It wasn't his strong point.
"Tomorrow there'll be a shuttle heading towards Earth. Barton has arranged for you to have a seat. Winner will pick you up as soon as you arrive. Lady Une is giving you a month's vacation," Wufei said.
Duo said nothing.
"I hope you'll be yourself again when you come back." With that, the Chinese boy left the room.
Duo stood silently for a while before he headed to the closet and took out a duffel bag.
He didn't even glance at the tray.
"Duo! How are you? It has been a long time." As soon as Duo stepped in the arrival area, Quatre Winner welcomed him. "Oh, my God! You look so skinny. How much weight have you lost? You should have take care of yourself properly!"
The American didn't answer. He just stared blankly at him.
Aware of what Trowa had told him, Quatre couldn't help but feel very sorry for his friend. Without anymore words, he led him to his limousine where Rasyid waited in the driver's seat.
Soon, they were on their way to one of the Winner properties, specifically a mansion in the center of Sank Kingdom's capital city.
Duo spent a week in this mansion with Quatre trying fruitlessly to cheer him up. At least Quatre managed to feed him up so he didn't look so thin. Actually, he looked far better than he had when he'd just arrived.
Nevertheless, Quatre still couldn't find the old Duo he used to know.
One day, as they were having tea -- although actually Quatre was the only one who was having tea -- the Arabian said, "Duo, I've talked to Relena."
For once, Quatre got a response from the guy. Although it was only a flinch, it was enough.
"She told me where Heero's grave is."
Duo's head turned towards him. The blank eyes stared at him incredulously. He mouthed, "Heero's... grave...."
"Yes." The Arabian sat up and laid a hand on the American's shoulder. "Would you like to visit it?"
Duo's mouth opened and closed again. Finally, he bowed his head.
"Duo," Quatre said worriedly, "if this bothers you so much..."
"I'd like to."
Quatre lifted an eyebrow.
Duo looked up at him. This time, half of his blankness had gone. He stared at Quatre with determined eyes. "I have to go there."
Quatre smiled and nodded.
It was a small green clearing in the middle of the forest. There was a big flamboyant tree in the middle of it and a river ran near, giving it a feeling of peacefulness.
Under the tree, one of the greatest heroes of the Federation war, Heero Yuy, the pilot of Wing Gundam Zero, rested in peace.
"Heero wanted to be buried here after he died," Relena Peacecraft explained. "He found this place a month after he arrived and he liked it very much. He always came here whenever he felt troubled."
"Thank you for bringing us here, Relena-san. We know you are busy. We're sorry to disturb you." Quatre apologized.
"No, not at all." Relena smiled. "I haven't worked up the courage to come myself for two months. I guess it's time."
Quatre nodded. Then, both of them averted their glance and looked at the American.
Duo was touching the tree. The wood was grainy against his palm but the feel of it was hypnotizing. He just stood there, feeling the air around him.
Yes, Heero had been there. He knew it. He could feel it. The lingering feeling of his presence was still there. The aura he felt whenever Heero was around.
Heero was here.
He felt every bit of coldness in his frozen heart melting. Yes, this was what he had needed. To be with Heero. To be with his only one who understood him.
Heero....
"Duo?" Quatre's voice was sounding astonished.
Duo turned his face toward him. The line of a tear was making its way down his cheek. The light that had vanished from his purple eyes for almost half a year had come back. He was slightly smiling. "Heero is here," he said.
Quatre was happy to see his friend alive again. "Duo, you're back!"
"Heero is here...." Duo said again before suddenly crumpling against the tree.
Quatre ran to him worriedly. He knelt down next to the shaking boy. "Duo?" He called.
Duo's tears were rolling down his cheeks. "He's here, Quatre. He's here, but he can't be with us. Why? Why did he have to die? Why him? He could have been alive still. Why?" He screamed almost hysterically. "Why did he have to leave us?"
Quatre didn't say anything. He just hugged Duo as his own wet eyes leaked tears. He too couldn't accept Heero's death easily. Heero was one of the best friends he had ever had. He too couldn't understand Heero's decision not to let the others know about his sickness.
He couldn't understand him at all!
Relena watched the two young men huddling against each other, grieving. Her eyes too were wet. Heero had meant a lot to her. No, not as a lover. She had found that out years ago. Heero had been someone she could count on, someone to run to whenever she was worried. She had cared about him a lot.
She wiped the tears off her eyes with her fancy handkerchief.
"Are they his friends?"
The low question startled her. She turned her face. "Amanogawa-kun?"
A Japanese boy in school uniform was standing before her. His blue eyes were waiting for an answer.
"Yes, they are." Relena smiled at the boy.
"The one with the braid... Duo Maxwell, am I right?"
Relena nodded.
Duo's sobs had subsided. Quatre's tears had stopped flowing although the trace of them was still there.
Suddenly Quatre felt Duo tensing. The other was staring unbelievingly past Quatre's back.
Getting curious, he turned to see what had so shocked his friend.
He experienced a similar shock.
Standing next to Relena Peacecraft was...
"... Heero..."
~tbc~
Hime D.