07-Sep-2000
Title: The Button
Author: Enigma
Rating: PG
Category: Line challenge fic for Shi-chan; challenge issued 9/2/00
Warnings: Extreme silliness, fluff, possible OOC-ness (depending on your opinion)
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the Gundam Wing Universe, and I'm not sure if I want to take responsibility for the story either. I'm obviously not making any money off this story. It's written strictly for amusement, so please don't sue me.
Quatre looked up, a cute little frown on his oh-so-adorable face.
"Well, damn, stuck again?" Looking sadly at his newest toy; he was about to add something more, but he sneezed instead. Blowing his nose loudly, he looked over at his friend for advice, assistance, an offer of political asylum, anything!
"I told you not to put that there..." Duo just shook his head. How in the name of Shinigami could Quatre have been so *stupid*? Considering the consequences of his actions, it would have been less painful if the Sandrock pilot had simply blown his own brains out. Less suspenseful, too.
"But it's so cute..." Quatre turned those reddened, slightly watery (but, hey, they're *aqua*marine-eyes, ne?) to the Deathscythe pilot in a silent plea for help.
"So? Next time you get it stuck, I am not helping you!" Grumbling, Duo began to climb up to the catwalk beside Wing Gundam. Quatre obediently followed.
"But..." Quatre tried to look innocent and Duo just laughed, knowing full well the blond was no more "innocent" than *he* was! Never try to fool a fool, he thought.
By now, both boys were on the catwalk near the large gundanium chest of the mobile suit piloted by the ever-dangerous Perfect Soldier, Heero Yuy. Luckily, Heero had gone to town for supplies, so they thought they had time to rectify the situation before any blood was shed, especially theirs!
"Now.... let's see about that... God! How did you get that there? " Duo surveyed the problem and with a look of utter dismay, considered what options were open to keep Quatre in one piece if Heero found out about this.
"I dunno..." Quatre blinked innocently, then sneezed five times in a row.
"Geez, Q-man, I thought you had better sense than to do something like *this*!" Duo was more than a little exasperated with the diminutive pilot who just smiled helplessly as he looked for another tissue. As he found one, he thought it was good he'd taken his medicine before they'd come out here. This might take awhile.
"I'm sorry, Duo," he sniffled into the tissue. "That anti-allergy stuff makes me a little silly sometimes, I guess. It just seemed like a good idea at the time…"
Curiosity got the better of the American, admiring the ingenuity it must have involved to create such a thing. "What in *space* did you find that will behave magnetically on gundanium? I thought there wasn't anything that would do that!"
"I can't remember the name, it's called something really, really long, but Howard gave me some." He stopped as another sneezing fit hit.
"Well, let's just try to get it off before you-know-who comes back. I think I can barely reach it, but I'll need you to hang onto my waist for balance. I don't particularly want to fall from here to the hangar floor, ya know!" Duo prepared himself for this selfless act for his sick friend.
Quatre's eyes suddenly went large and Duo wondered what he had said wrong.
"What?!?" Duo asked irritably. He had planned to spend the afternoon enjoying the latest 3-D flick playing in town, but the "puppy eyes routine" got him to agree to help before he even knew the risks involved.
"Oh, Duo," Quatre gave him a coy look, "I don't know if I should do *that*! What would Trowa think if he saw us that way?"
"Hentai! Get your mind out of the gutter, Q! If you don't hold onto me, I can't do this, and if I can't do this, you will have to deal with what *Heero* thinks when he gets back!" Duo was losing patience with him, but then again he never had much to begin with!
"Oh! Good point! Sure I'll hold you, are you ready?" Quatre put his warm, gentle hands firmly around Duo's hips and suddenly *he* was having problems with where his mind went! But a quick flash of Trowa's probable response got his wandering thoughts back under control.
"All right, here goes!" Duo strained to reach out from the edge of the catwalk trying to pry loose the object Quatre had so foolishly stuck on Wing. He was just getting a good grip when a very familiar voice made him freeze.
"Hn."
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Holy shit! His mind scrambled as he looked down to see a certain Japanese pilot with a low tolerance for *anyone* doing *anything* to his Gundam staring him in the face. He realized immediately what a compromising position he was in but there was nothing to be done about it now but hope Heero was in a good mood. Granted, Heero was *never* in a good mood unless he was killing OZ dudes, Duo thought ruefully. Then he heard another familiar sound, the safety being released on one those innumerable guns Heero managed to keep in his spandex shorts without them ever showing.
"Baka yaro! What the *Hell* do you think you are doing to Wing, Duo?!?" Nope, no good mood. Well, what did he expect?
"But, Heero, it's not what it looks like! Quatre was…" Duo never got to finish his sentence as Heero's face went crimson, sending shivers down his partner's spine.
"Don't blame that monstrosity on Quatre, baka! Anything that ridiculous has 'Property of Duo Maxwell' practically written on it! Now get it off!!!"
Quatre apparently never went to retrieve his mind from the gutter and gave a throaty laugh. "Oooh, I'd love to get it off! Duo since you're busy, I'll go see Heero!"
Duo's arm darted back to the hands he was relying on for safety and growled, "Don't even *think* about it, Quatre!" Quatre just snickered with a leer.
"Kuso! I *said*, get that godawful ugly thing off my Gundam! Duo, you are going to regret putting a six-foot tall yellow 'Happy Face' button on Wing's chest! Omae o korosu!" Heero, enraged, shot, placing a bullet within 6 inches of Duo's feet.
"Matte! Heero! Matte!" Duo fell backwards in terror, unintentionally pulling the giant button with him as he and Quatre fell back against the hangar wall. Shoving the ugly thing off of him, Duo scrambled to his feet and took off running as fast as he could to get *anywhere* Heero couldn't shoot him. He chose to go up and headed for the roof vent, several more bullets flew at him ricocheting off the metal catwalk, before the unmistakable sound of the infamous Yuy Yellow Sneakers sped after the retreating braided baka.
Quatre sighed, happy to have his button back, not even wondering what was going to happen to Duo when Heero caught him. He sneezed again, but only once. Apparently the allergy medicine had kicked back in.
"Now, what will I do with you, my pretty thing?" He thought a bit. Then a huge smile crossed his face as he happily carried the giant yellow button farther down the catwalk.
"I just *know* Nataku will look better with this on it!" He giggled happily.
~OWARI~
Author's Note:
The Greek Muse of comedy, Thalia, wants to take full credit for this bit of nonsense; but I blame it on sleep-deprivation.
Enigma