Dear Duo,
It seems so strange to be writing you. You just left a few hours ago, but I miss you already. Your visit was too short, they always are. I hate myself for letting you run away from me, even though I know that you have to. Zechs in possession of Epyon is something that you should tell the others. Don't be angry with me or them when you find out that they already have the specs for that machine. I gave it to Quatre the night that he told me you hadn't been harmed by them. I was worried about you then, it was so hard to function normally when I wanted to tear the Earth apart to look for you, to keep you safe.
Did I ever tell you that your love means more to me then you could imagine? You finally said it to me. I knew that you loved me, you wouldn't have continued to visit me if you didn't. It did creep up on us, two disillusioned lost souls. But you never would say it to me. I can understand why, everyone that you ever loved had died on you, so I understand why you wouldn't.
We are supposed to be enemies. That was driven home to me when you were dragged out of here by Chang Wufei. I had so hard tried to create the illusion that it was just us and the world didn't matter. Unfortunately the world kept intruding on our creation. I look forward to peace and a small cabin by the lake.
Treize.
Dear Duo:
I just regained control of the Romafeller foundation. It will be over soon, one way or another. I don't want to be parted from you anymore. Relena is free, I allowed her to got to her brother, to try and convince him that the fighting was futile. I don't think that it will work. Mirialdo or Zechs or whoever he has become is lost to me. I wish that you could have known him before the lust for vengeance hardened his heart to love. I did love him, it was a not the same love that I have for you, it was friendship, respect and shared memories. It was something special, but nothing as consuming as the feelings that I have for you. You are a precious gift that I treasure more then my own life.
I just wish that we could hide from the duty that brought us together, the same one that drives us apart physically. I know that you want to run away with me, but neither one of us can. You do not want to subject anyone else to what you are experiencing, the pain that made you who you are. You also don't want to add the burdens of your fellow pilots, you do not want them to suffer more then they have to. I understand that. I do not want to let others manipulate this war, afraid that more people will get hurt or die because of their loyalty to me. I am honored by those soldiers that are willing to die for me, that have taken me as their cause.
I will end this now, tired from trying to straighten things out, to end this madness faster. I would rather sleep with you in my arms tonight, but you and I will just sleep with the ghosts that haunt us, instead of each other like we should.
Treize
Duo, my sweet,
I am writing you just before I am going into space to fight Mirialdo. A year ago, I couldn't have believed that this would happen. I thought that we 'd be together forever, may be not as lovers but as friends at least. And now I have to go into Space to kill him. I'm sorry to burden you with this, but there is no one else. The price of power does come high. I have no one that I can trust besides you. And you aren't here because of you own obligations.
I just want this to be over, no matter if I win or if I lose. I long to hear your voice, feel you in my arms, smell you. I want to have you cook for me, lie in bed with you in that cabin and feed you strawberries again. I want to live with you, not in our own little bubble, but someplace that we can be together, as a couple. I want to see the mischief come back into your eyes. I want to be with you for the first night that you can sleep through it without nightmares.
Selfish of me isn't it? I only refer to my own needs and wants. I have no idea what you want. What has happened to you. I hope that I would know if you were dead or injured, but I don't know if I could let myself feel that.
I love you. I wish that we could be together forever, I would do anything to ensure that. I am very willing right now to set Space aflame if we could be together sooner.
If anything happens to me, you will get these letters. I don't know how though. Any information that I could give my people would only harm you and what you are fighting for and you don't want that. Surprising that at last we might be on the same side. Mirialdo in his madness has made us allies as well as lovers. Do not think too harshly of my mad, sad, haunted friend. He too has his ghosts that speak to him in dreams. And if it was not for his defection, we would never have been able to know each other. You should at least thank him for that. And because I love him I will go out and kill him before his madness consumes the Earth. What love I have felt for him has turned into sorrow. I mourn him for what he might have been, what we might have had. But that in no way effects my joy that we have found each with other. He was my friend. You are my life, I need you because I love you.
And I love you enough to let you flit away from me, instead of keeping you safe as I should properly do. Strange that I am telling you, my fey lover, this, but as I stated before, I have lost anyone else that I could tell this too. My adored Lady Une lies in a coma, due to the treachery of the Tsubarov, but you heard that at the same time I did. She was like a sister to me, no matter how much she wanted something else. I am glad that she has found a relationship with Relena Peacecraft, no matter how odd it seems. And take care of Relena, she is not the carefree girl she appears to be, but you never were the fool that you played yourself as either.
I must end this now, our forces are gathering at the small mining outpost in Earth's orbit. In a few hours or at the most days, it will all be over. We will either see each other again in this world or the next. But if I should go ahead of you, like so many of those you have loved, do not join me. I can wait. Our relationship has been one of waiting for your visits, I will not be inconsistent enough to be angry that I have to wait for our last one. I want you to live, love again even. Do not live with me as a ghost, faithful to my memory beyond reasonable thought. I can wait. I can share even, because I love you, my sweet Duo.
Treize.
End Part 4
Christine
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