Duo was kicking his heels in the bedroom that Quatre had him in, waiting for Iria's examination of Treize to be over and that he could get some information from her. She hadn't gotten around to examining him yet, for which he was extremely thankful for. Quatre's sister poking at him was more embarrassing then Sally poking at him. And he had more things to be embarrassed about. Thankfully, he had managed to nab a lot of Quatre's old clothes, since the rest of them had spent the last year and change growing, instead of being insane, like he had.
Nothing that they owned now fit him, and he didn't feel comfortable unless everything was hidden. Howard's stuff as well as the other scars. The shirts had a high enough collars and long sleeves that covered Howard's 'jewelry' on him. His marks of ownership. And he had a whole new set of nightmares now, ones where Howard was walking him like a dog, through different places, like a battle or PeaceMillion, having people stare and point at him. He usually woke up before it got too bad.
But…he was scared. Scared that he was never getting better, that if he made some progress towards recovery, something would happen to him that set him back. It didn't escape his notice that anything sharp was kept out of his hands, that he wasn't allowed near the kitchen, since they thought that he might get a knife and start carving these things out of his body. He wasn't that desperate yet, and he hoped that they all stopped following him around, like he was going to do something stupid. He couldn't really. He was the reason that T-chan booked from his comfortable little prison and he had to take care of him. He promised T-chan that he would tell him every thing eventually and he hadn't done that yet.
Duo was wretched from his musings by the knock on the door. "Come in," he called.
Iria walked in, and Duo bounced up from the bed. "How is he?" Duo demanded. "Can you find out why he doesn't remember anyone? Is it physical or mental or what? Can it be cured? How is he now?" He winced a little when the welts pulled at his movements, but refused to let that slow him down. He wanted answers, before anything else.
Iria shook her head. "I don't have the equipment that can tell me that here. But from what I can tell, except for a few sore muscles, he's in good health. Burn scars from what look like an explosion. They're a couple of years old. Brain damage it a tricky thing to deal with. He could get his memory back tomorrow or never. It isn't a science, medicine is an art, because we have no idea about why the human body does some of the things that it does. He should have died in that explosion, but he didn't. His memory loss could be from oxygen deprivation, a blow to the head or the electrical system explosion. I can't tell, I don't have the equipment."
"Yeah," Duo agreed quietly, "They're new. The scars. He didn't have them when we were in Luxembourg together." God, that was the last time. he thought. We needed each other so badly…I could have stayed in his arms forever, if it wasn't for that bastard Mirialdo barging in on us. Then, I was so alone, except for that damn machine's whispers. It always knew when I was down, the fucking thing would talk to me. "Oh fuck!" he exclaimed remembering, that since Mirialdo was alive, that meant that Epyon was probably still around too. And most likely intact enough to cause trouble.
Iria looked down at Duo and frowned. He shrugged his shoulders and tried to go passed her. When she blocked his leaving the room, he frowned and looked up at her. "I'm sorry about the potty mouth, but it just dawned on me that we might have a really big problem on our hands, instead a kinda big problem, with unexpected visitors. Give me five minutes with Quatre and then you can poke to your heart's content, I'll try not to freak too much."
"Quatre said that you needed me to look at you and him. And I'm doing that. He cooperated much better then this." Her tone indicated the only reason that she was doing this was because Quatre had asked her to do it. Not because she actually wanted to help them. She couldn't even say Treize's name. Acting like he was the bad guy here. Didn't ever figure out that there were no bad guys, just a boatload of confused people, that managed to survive that mess?
"Iria, I want five minutes with you brother. I know you aren't too fond of me, but just let me talk to him and I'll behave, I don't want to wait on this, because it's been too long already." Duo said. "I'm being nusty about this but…I don't want to forget what I just thought off and I might if I freak out during the your poking at me. I don't like doctors."
"Why didn't you think that I don't like you." Iria said flatly, ignoring the last half of his sentence. It didn't take a genius to figure that out from the way that they had treated him before. And he was the only pilot that wasn't living with her brother, he might not be because he didn't want a repeat of what happened every time he met one of them when he had come in to refuel, rest and see something besides the endless sea of stars.
"Because you and the rest of the family treated me like I was something that the dog dragged in every time I refueled at one of the Winner satellites during the war." Duo said bitterly. It still hurt after all this time. He should let it go, but he couldn't. He had been so alone and hurt. He didn't need to have felt that the entire fucking universe hated him. Even if it wasn't true, it felt that way. "Would it been too fucking hard to say hello and act like you wanted to see me? That you could be nice to me, even if I wasn't your brother. I didn't want to be there either, but Quatre made the arrangements, I guess he thought that you'd be kind or at least pleasant to me, that you wouldn't be pissed that I wasn't him and not talk to me. You want to know what Iria? After awhile it didn't matter, that no one talked to me except the dead. I got used to the silence and the hostility. The friendliest voices I heard for the last months of the war, were the ones in my nightmares. But I covered your butt with him and told him when I saw him on the PeaceMillion that you all were great. You all were, just not to me. So I don't care that I'm upsetting you or whatever plans you had now for him or that your not too pleased that I showed again. I gave you every chance that I was going to during the war. I have to talk to him, now."
"Duo" Iria said sadly, "We were wrong…"
"I. Do. Not. Care." Duo said coldly, "I have to tell him something. I really wasn't to crazy about you seeing my body, so if we skip this whole thing, I'd be happy."
Duo brushed past her, opened the door and went into the hallway, almost running into Trowa, who had just raised his hand to knock at the door. Duo was glad that he managed not to scream at this, because running into Trowa just scared the crap out of him. He wondered how much the other man had heard of his discussion with Iria. They weren't bothering to keep it civil or silent.
"I was wonder if you wanted someone with you for this?" Trowa asked.
Duo shook his head, ignoring the question. "I just realized something. Epyon. It didn't get destroyed. We got to find it. Start to figure out where it might be stored."
"After Iria…"
"No. Now." Duo was a bit panicked sounding he knew, but he felt he had a good reason. But he reigned it in, just so that Trowa would listen to him. Duo was very aware that a lot of time he wasn't making much sense anymore. "Do you really want Mirialdo to attack this place with the damn thing? He might trace us down here and he's insane."
"Duo." Trowa said softly, "I was getting my own reports during the war, too. And the walls aren't as thick as they should be here. And I can start things going while Iria looks after you."
Duo grinned at him, falling into 'clown' mode to fool Trowa. It might work. He might get pretty again too. "So what? Not like I got anything to hide. You guys found it all out. And you've been there too. The human body is a wonderful thing, can take almost any amount of abuse and heals up as good as new, sometimes. The bleeding's stopped. Not like I have to worry about have anything that resembles…"
"Duo." Trowa interrupted him. "Let Iria take a look at you. You did promise."
"Com'on Trowa, it's the truth. I ain't gonna be able get any looking like this. So what's a few more scars?" Duo wheedled.
"Duo…" Trowa sighed, reached out a hand to touch Duo's cheek gently, ignoring the small movement that Duo made as a reaction to Trowa touching him. It wasn't a flinch, but a small aborted attempt to avoid being touched. "Why do you hate yourself so much?"
"Not a lot to love right now. Never has been, really." Duo's eyes looked inward for a second, thinking, his voice distant. "I once told T-chan that there was no 'real' me anymore, just a series of masks. Well the masks are gone and there's nothing left. It got eaten up a long time ago, trying to keep things going."
"T-chan, what about him?" Trowa tried. Someone that might get Duo interested in getting healed or at least cooperating with Iria. Maybe even healing himself for T-chan enough to be the kid that he was during the war. He had seemed to like himself when they had first meet, but had that been one of the masks that Duo hid himself behind? Had Duo hated himself all his life?
Duo would most likely care more about someone else then he would himself, it seemed to be a pattern with him. He probably hated himself too much right now, with all that happened with Howard, to care what happened to him. Trowa understood, for a long time he had been like that, until he was able to accept the fact that someone could love you, even if you thought of yourself as damaged goods, because of what others had done to you. He knew from experience that the welts on Duo's back would scar, from the quick glance that he had of them earlier, and that right now, they hurt like hell. But Duo wouldn't show any of that, he'd ignore the pain it he could or avoid them all if he couldn't keep the mask up.
"You can take care of him, not like he remembers me." Duo said in a casual tone, one that didn't match the sudden tension in his body and the odd look in his eyes. "Don't even know why he left. But he can get most of the same info off you that he can off me. Or Une can help him, they were close." And he remembered her. Why doesn't he remember me? he wailed hopelessly inside his head. But he didn't show any of this hurt on the outside. He couldn't, so he'd play the fool again and then maybe something would happen, so that he could hide again. From life, from the rest of the pilots.
Trowa shook his head. "He may not remember you, but he left there because of you. So you do matter to him. He didn't leave you behind."
Duo laughed bitterly, "Well he wouldn't of left a dog behind if he was leaving Mirialdo. Treize wouldn't know what he would do to it, but it would be nasty. And he needed me to book, so it was a matter of convenience more then anything. And you can all stop following me around. I'm not going to do something stupid. I promised Wufei that a long time ago. I'm still good at keeping promises, even ones made a long time ago."
"Let Iria examine you." Trowa repeated, "I'll start looking for Epyon. I must confess, I wouldn't have thought of looking for the machine, now that we know that the pilot survived."
Duo shivered and looked up at Trowa with blank eyes, meeting his eyes for the first time in their conversation. "You never were in it. It talked to you, told you things, I still hear it some nights, along with the dead that visit me." I should have known then, that Mirialdo was alive, because that cursed machine talked to me still. Told me that…I was wrong, that I was weak…that no one should ever love me, I'm too deadly.
Iria and Trowa's eyes meet over Duo's head and Trowa was somewhat disturbed and gratified to see the growing horror in Iria's eyes. She had been the most vocal of Quatre's sisters about her disapproval of his living arrangements. And she had complained the most about Duo to Rashid, things that he had never passed on to Quatre, but let Trowa know about. You finally seeing that what you did to Duo during the war was wrong? That you should have let a scared kid have some affection, even if he wasn't your brother. That for some of us, it will never be over, because that's all there was for us. The fighting, the killing. Living on the edge and wondering when we were going to fall over it. That Heero and I are so jumpy still because we had to be since we were children because we never had the luxury of a family to protect us.
"Duo…"Trowa said, "I asked once before what it told you, is it telling you the same things or different things?"
Duo closed his eyes and thought. "Different things, now. Different promises…threats…what might have beens." Duo opened his eyes and looked at Trowa. "Don't Quatre and Heero still hear the ZERO system?"
"No" Trowa said, "They don't hear it." Not that they would tell me about it, but Quatre doesn't have that look in his eyes that he had when he heard it talking to him before.
"Well they are sane and I'm not, might have something to do with it." Duo said calmly. "But then Epyon and ZERO seemed to be different. May be because one system was built into the machine and the other was modified into a preexisting Gundam."
"We can figure that out after we find it,' Trowa said, making a mental note talk to Treize about Duo. What had happened that night that caused Treize to walk away from his lover to help a total stranger. Duo's rambling confession had made no sense and Treize refused to say anything about what had happened. But something about Duo made Treize want to leave, so Trowa needed to find what that was out. He had to prepare for whatever might happen if Mirialdo and Howard showed up.
Trowa turned to tell the others of Duo's suspicions . He was surprised that no one else had thought of it, but then no one really had seen Epyon, until the Eve Wars. They had all been busy doing other things, involved in their own fights. And they were still a little shocked about the turn of events that lead to Duo's returning to them with his not as dead as we thought he was lover and the information that Mirialdo Peacecraft was still alive also.
"It wouldn't be good, if they find it first" Duo grimaced and muttered half to himself, watching Trowa leave. "Mirialdo is too damn good with a whip."
Iria made a small noise at that and Duo turned around and stared at her. "Sorry to disillusion you. I got the crap beat out me with a riding crop, by him. My ribs don't hurt that much, so he didn't break them again."
"Again?" Iria asked.
"Well he did a number on me at the end of the war too." Duo said. "Broke a lot of things. My ribs, a lot of skin and my spirit. But he was just putting the finishing touches on the work done by a lot of people, so don't feel bad. How were you to know?" His tone had been growing more bitter and sarcastic with each word, by the time he got to the word know, Iria was flinching at the look in his eyes.
"I can give you something for the pain.' Iria said, "but I should give you an exam."
"Don't bother." Duo said coldly. "As I said before, the human body does heal up nicely. Not the first time that I was raped. Not the first time that Mirialdo raped me either. Usually can't get a doctor to look at you afterwards, they are hard to find in a war zone. Or on the streets."
"Oh." Iria's voice was tiny and shocked.
"They don't let you out much, do they?" Duo asked sarcastically. "But people do get raped. Usually because someone…." Duo shrugged. "A lot of different reasons. And Mirialdo hated me enough to think that would hurt me, beyond the physical damage. It did. But you know, why should you care? I'll be gone soon, out of your hair and you can be with Quatre and not have to put up with me. Or anyone that needs your help."
"Duo."
"What Iria? Feeling guilty now? Don't, as I said, I'll be gone. Maybe with T-chan, maybe by myself. I doesn't matter really, because…I…I'll survive. I always do. Just ask anyone that I loved." Duo finished bitterly. He was sick of being hurt by people, he'd hand some of it back for once. "Wait, they never do survive, so it's kinda hard isn't it?"
"I hated the fact that you were at my home, at the places that I grew up. That you brought the war with you and not my brother." Iria said suddenly.
"I didn't want to be there either Iria, I would have rather of been with a number of other people. But I'm not going to get into a pissing contest about the past with you. It's the past. Its over and I can't change it. But I'll sit still while you do your doctor thing and then I'll stay away from you."
"Then sit down and take off that shirt." Iria said, uncomfortable about treating Duo. She had handled him badly during the war, from her own guilt and frustration about Quatre. She could never understand why Quatre never wanted to talk to her about what he was doing during that time. Why he sent Duo to them. And why Duo had said that they had treated him well. But they hadn't, all of Quatre's sisters, all had ignored Duo for different reasons, none of them good now that she thought about it.
"I just want to warn you, it's not pretty." Duo said.
She stared a little as Duo unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off his back. She was disturbed to see that he still the same size that he had been during the war. She recognized the shirt as being one of Quatre's old ones, from the same time, before he just seemed to grow over night. And the rest of them had grown in the last few years, why hadn't Duo? But she was proud of the fact that she managed to keep a neutral expression when she saw what had been done to Duo. What ever possessed him to pierce himself? And that collar?
Duo read that question in her eyes. "None of this was my idea," he said coldly. "Someone got the bright idea that he could own me and decided that marking his property like this was a good thing." Duo took a deep breath and then let it out, slowly. It was that or scream. And if he started he wouldn't stop. "And I slept thorough most of it, because I would have fought this kicking and screaming, so he was pumping me with some good stuff. In pill form, or by needle," he explained, showing Iria the track marks. "And the rest of them, think that I'm gonna start carving this shit out of my body. And there is more of it, but I'm not showing you because…because…I have a choice about it and I am choosing not to. I have thought of it, carving myself up, but I'm not that desperate yet. So you can tell them that they can let me near the sharp pointy things."
He turned around and showed Iria the damage to his back, trying not to shake too much. He didn't trust her and all he wanted to do was crawl into a hole in the ground and bury himself so no one would ever see this again. Even himself.
"All right Duo, but why should I believe you?" Iria asked suspiciously. It was bad, but the welts were healing nicely, she'd let nature take its course. Duo flinched when she rubbed more salve on his back, but didn't make a move other then that. Iria pretended not to notice the fact that his clenched knuckles where nearly bloodless and he was so stiff she thought he was going to go 'sprong' from the tension.
"I told him that I had nothing to lose. I don't really. I'm pretty beat up, a few more scars aren't gonna matter. But he'd win if I did that." Duo whispered. "Someday, I'll get this off of me. All of it." Howard why? You said you liked me, but this is disgusting, you reduced me to the level of an animal or a thing in few short weeks, with your drugs and these bits of metal. And I was tempted to stay there. This hurts more then anything that Mirialdo did to me because I trusted you once. I never trusted him, but I trusted you, because you seemed to be the only person that wasn't fucking me over. But you were just saving it for the big one weren't you?
"I should do any number of things before I give you any medication, but I'll just ask you a few questions. You're not allergic to anything?"
"Not that I know of, but I do have some weird drug reactions. And I have no idea what I've been pumped with for the last few weeks."
"That's a problem," Iria agreed, "but you should be comfortable while you're here. The worse that could happen is that you sleep a lot more. That might chase the bags out from underneath your eyes."
"I spent most of the last few weeks, either asleep or stoned out of my mind. I can't remember them really. But," Duo's tone turned wistful, "that's a good thing. Just wish that there was more of my life like that."
Iria was shocked at that remark and just stared at Duo before she dug through her bag to get some of the small amount of drugs that she had packed in there. She had known that there might be a need for her professional services, so she had packed appropriately. Quatre had sent her a message, with the phrase 'how we first meet' his code for needing her services for something that might be illegal. Healing Treize Khushrenada would be covered under something slightly illegal, he had been the enemy leader and the man was supposed to be dead!
Duo, her first reaction to Quatre's information that he was injured and needed her help, was a very selfish "Not him again." Iria had been glad of the news that Duo had disappeared, that would allow her to ignore what she had done to him during the war. But he was back and not as forgiving as she had hoped he would be.
Iria shook out a couple of pills and handed them to Duo, who swallowed them dry. At her look he smiled a little. "I got really good at dry swallowing pills, because water was something that there was never too much of for us on L2."
"They should dull the pain and let you sleep. And some antibiotics so you don't worry about infection. Just go to sleep and someone will wake you before Une and Relena get here so that you can talk to them."
Duo nodded and slipped his shirt back on and buttoned up before he curled up under the covers. Iria made an aborted move to tuck him in, stopped by the glare in his eyes.
"I told you that to was too late, so pity ain't gonna make me like you either, so save it." Duo growled at her.
Iria nodded and stepped away from the bed and towards the door, "Do you want anyone to stay with you?"
"No."
"Then good night and sweet dreams." Iria said quietly.
"Fat fucking luck," was Duo's tired, slurred answer. "I hadn't had those in years."
Iria was surprised to see Heero waiting silently outside Duo's door. "How is he?" he asked quietly.
Iria frowned. She didn't like this silent, brooding man that had moved in with her brother after the war, when Trowa had disappeared for a while. She was not happy by the reports that her sisters had given her, that Quatre had apparently replaced Trowa with Heero. What was it with her brother and silent men? That he was still here, after Trowa had returned was disturbing. That Heero and his lover, seemed to be involved with her brother and Trowa was…disquieting.
She had not felt comfortable about Quatre's sexual orientation for a while. The heir that father had worked and schemed so long and hard for, should at least produce an heir for the empire that he built for him. And given Quatre's reaction to test tube children, she believed that he never would. So everything that his father had aimed for with him would be wasted. Not the Winner empire, Quatre had made it quite clear early on that there were enough Winners to keep it going with the army of nephews and nieces that he had. But, Quatre's charm and gentle nature were wasted on these silent, brooding men that he surrounded himself with. A nice girl from a good family would have been better for him! She did not condemn any of her sisters that were attracted to other women, that was a different situation. They were not the heir, they were like her, a side product that had been created on the orders of their father, in hopes that he would get his son, instead of the endless stream of girl children that had been produced by the labs.
Iria forced herself to be civil to Heero and the rest of them, at least. She had learned from her mistake with Duo and the other pilots would not cover for her as he would have.
"He should be sleeping now."
Heero nodded, "But how is he?" he repeated.
Iria shrugged. "He doesn't like me and besides checking the condition of his back and giving him a few pills, I didn't do anything with him."
"Is it that he doesn't like you or that he doesn't like you seeing the damage that had been done to his body?" Heero asked coolly.
He knew that Iria really didn't like any of them, but that was her business, not his. So long as she didn't bother Quatre about it, he didn't care. And Quatre shouldn't be hurt by his own family, family was something that should be cherished. A lot of Quatre's sisters had liked Heero, that he was taking care of Quatre, even through it was the other way around. But not Iria, she may not have been the oldest, but for a while she had been the de facto leader of his sisters, her approval carried more weight with the rest of them. She had been dethroned or gave it up after the war, when she realized that she could not accept Quatre's personal choices for the Winner clan.
"A mixture of both," she admitted.
Heero shrugged. "Does he want company?"
"He said no, but I don't think that he'd throw you out." Iria said. "He…doesn't look like he's able to, he hasn't gotten any bigger, like the rest of you have."
"That doesn't mean that he wants to see me." Heero said. "I'll leave him to his privacy, forcing myself on him the last time was what caused this mess."
"I beg your pardon?" Iria asked dazedly.
"Wufei and I were confused about what Duo's goals were for his vacation. Our confusion resulted in his being captured by Mirialdo Peacecraft."
"A vacation doesn't usually have goals." Iria commented.
"It wasn't a vacation for him, it was a test to see if he could function with more then a handful of people around him, in a public place. Duo was severally unbalanced by his experiences in the war, and before that." Heero reported to her. Iria stared at him, embarrassed a little by his cold stare. And his casual acceptance of Duo's problems.
Treize walked up behind Heero and in a soft voice asked, "Is Duo all right?"
"He wasn't as cooperative as you were." Iria said, "but he might be almost asleep, if you want to check on him, I don't think that he'd be in a position to argue about it."
Heero nodded and added softly, "He'd much rather see you then me."
Treize frowned at that and then shrugged. He would check on Duo and then, he would ask Heero about what he had just been talking about. He was worried about Duo and he also wondered how unbalanced he was. And unbalanced was the right word to use. Duo wasn't insane or crazy or anything else that you could mention, he was just lost. Trying to survive a fight he thought he would die in, having done things that he now couldn't live with himself for doing. Treize eased open the door and walked over to the bed, to see if Duo was comfortable. He smiled slightly at the fact that Duo looked even -younger- asleep then he did with his eyes opened, his face had relaxed and his beautiful, wary eyes were closed. Treize leaned down to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. Duo frowned and then his face relaxed, when Treize stood up. Duo's eyes opened slowly and blinked at Treize, confused for a moment trying to figure out what was going on, before closing them again and falling back to sleep.
"Sleep and heal Duo." Treize said softly, "And maybe…you can balance yourself again."
Treize let himself out of the room and was glad to see that Heero was still standing there. He took a deep breath and was surprised to see how much bigger the rest of them were from Duo. Heero and Wufei were almost his size, just a shade smaller, so that it was better that he had borrowed Rashid's clothing, too big was much more comfortable then too small. Trowa was taller then he was, but slender like Duo should be, when he gained some weight. Quatre was the smallest one, but even he was almost a head taller then the feyish pilot. He idly wondered why that was and if the others could tell him. It should go under the heading of acceptable information.
"You want to talk." Heero stated, as Treize joined him in the hall. Iria had disappeared someplace in the house. He had found his experience with her interesting. She did not like him, but on the orders of her brother, she would treat him, because he asked him to do so. Treize wondered what it would be like, to have so much charm that people would be falling over themselves to serve you, like Quatre's family and followers seem to be doing.
"Yes." Treize said, suddenly shy. Why should he ask these people to relive horrible memories? Why would they want to?
"It will be better if we do it in mine and Wufei's room. We're close, so if Duo starts screaming we can hear it. Heero said. "Don't worry about asking us questions. It wasn't a good time for us, but you do deserve to find out some answers.
"Duo screams in his sleep?" Treize asked shocked.
"On occasion, depending on the dream that he is having." Heero said calmly. "Wufei did it too for a while, watching his colony blow up gave him nightmares."
"Oh." Treize said in small voice, following Heero into the bedroom. It was large, to tell the truth Treize had yet to see a small room in this house. And comfortable, the room dominated by a huge bed, but Treize spotted a small alcove that held a couple of comfortable chairs. Heero lead Treize over to that area. The few books that were scattered about were the only sign that the room was in use, it was painfully neat.
"Duo once said that sleep was our new enemy. And I agree with him. We, Quatre and I, were at his home, trying to convince him that it was a good idea that we destroy our Gundams, that they weren't needed any more, when he told me that." Heero frowned and stared off into the distance, debating with himself. After a moment he looked at Treize again. "We, didn't know what had happened to him, all we knew was that he had disappeared when he heard of your death. We couldn't find him, Relena and Une told us were he was. He was…hiding…in a place that he felt safe in. I…I…, there were people that took care of him, but he was still so hurt. We would have never found out about what Mirialdo had done to him, except someone turned on the lights and then we saw the damage. He was trying to hide it from us, because he felt uncomfortable around us."
"Duo…he was…I…" Treize started and then stopped. He was not discussing that with Heero. Duo deserved some privacy. "He's so little. Why didn't he grow? Were you all bigger the he was?"
Heero shook his. "Except for Trowa, we were all the same size once. Duo was always slender though. Wufei and I were the biggest built of the group. Towards the end, he was almost as skeletal as he is now. But that was from any number of things. Duo's a good cook, he just spent the last couple of years not eating. He told me that it all tasted like ashes. And, looking at him during the…a meeting that we had, I swore that he was mourning you to distraction, I didn't think that he was going to survive that battle," Heero said absently, remembering how empty Duo had looked as they went out to rescue Relena and Wufei. Heero knew, after their odd conversation on that trip, that the only thing that was keeping Duo functional was Maria. If he had killed her or if the rebellion succeeded, Heero didn't think that Duo would have made it back to Earth.
"The last one?" Treize asked him. I wasn't dead yet, so that wasn't the problem. Or did something else happen in the last two years?
Heero shook his head. "Not that one, it was something else, but you know that later today, Lady Une is coming to see you and Duo." Heero said, trying to change the subject. Explaining the Barton Rebellion meant that he would have to tell Treize about his daughter. And that Heero would leave to Lady Une and Relena.
"I've been told that. And she was the woman that Duo was living with." Treize said, wondering where this was leading.
"One of them, the other one is her lover. And, I know that it isn't my place to tell you this, but it should be to be done. Her lover is the younger sister of Mirialdo Peacecraft, Relena. She had cut all ties with him, at the end of the war, for various reasons. One of them was the fact that Mirialdo had just tortured Duo, who had taken it upon himself to save her from him on his ship, the Libra. Relena…this is very convoluted," Heero remarked, "but there are a couple of things that I feel that you should know and Duo is in no condition to tell you, thanks to the drugs that Iria just gave him."
"Miri never mentioned that he had a younger sister." Treize said, hoping to get more out of Heero.
"She was raised by Peacecraft supporters. She didn't know that he was her brother, until late in the war, just before he decided to leave OZ and tour the colonies as 'Ambassador' Peacecraft encouraging her philosophy of Total Pacifism, until it was inconvenient to his plans for revenge against the Romafellers. Then he aligned himself with another rebel group from the colonies that was called White Fang. They stole a huge battleship, the Libra that OZ had been building in space, in a move to bring the colonies into war."
"What was my reaction to this?" Treize asked.
Heero looked at him strangely until Treize laughed at his confusion. "I don't remember any of this."
" I had forgotten. I don't know." Heero said sheepishly. "The Romafellers were annoyed that he kept switching between his two identies, that of Mirialdo Peacecaft, the Sank Kingdom's representative in space and Zechs Merquisa, the Lightening Count that slaughtered their men and mobile dolls. It was about this time that you and Duo became involved. Maybe shortly afterwards because Duo was never too informative about his activities. And this did happen over a period of months."
"Why?" Treize asked.
"Because…" Heero hesitated. This would be tricky. And he didn't know if he could really tell Treize this. He didn't know if Treize had known anything about Duo, when they were together. "…because Duo was sleeping with you and you were the enemy. That we never received the same orders about anything, because we all had different controllers. Now, in the books that other people have written about our activities, it sounds like we were this organized force, that we always knew what was going on. Most of the time, no matter how well informed we were, I swear that it was dumb luck that let us survive." Heero had never believed in luck during the war, planning and good intelligence was more important to him. But he realized that luck was a key factor in a lot of things.
Treize shrugged. Dumb luck was a key factor in a lot of things having to do with a war from what he remembered of his conversations with Howard and Miri.
"Duo did a lot of things that would cause him to have nightmares," Trowa said quietly. "The door was open, so I decided to check on you two." He explained.
Heero smiled up at Trowa. "We were just talking. About Relena."
" A good topic." Trowa said. "She's grown up a lot after the war. And she tried to take care of Duo. But I still remember the girl that chased us around, screaming 'shoot me Heero' at the oddest times."
"She may have acted crazy, but she had good intelligence. She could find us any where." Heero smiled. "But she did drive us insane. Mostly myself and Wufei. She kept ignoring any hints that we dropped that I was not interested in her, any way. As a friend or a lover."
"But why is she having a relationship with Lady Une. How did it start?" Treize asked in confusion.
Heero shrugged. "I heard about it about six months or so ago. There was an incident that Relena was involved in. She was taken hostage and Lady Une asked Duo for help. It was when we were visiting him about the Gundams and that's when I found out that they were sleeping together." Heero laughed. "Duo acted like we should have all known. I was annoyed that she had been chasing me, while having an affair with Une. Quatre was priceless though, he just turned bright red and said something to the effect of 'Sex and Lady Une are two things that I don't want to think about, together.'"
"Did you destroy the Gundams?" Treize asked.
"They are hidden someplace." Heero said. "Only one of us knows where. We spread the rumor that we destroyed them, but we didn't. Total Pacifism is coming true, but just in case…"
"you want something that enforces the peace," Treize said.
"Speaking of Gundams, did Mirialdo ever mention if Epyon was still around?" Trowa asked, trying to be casual. He hoped that Treize would know and that they could retrieve it and give Duo some peace of mind, by destroying the damned thing.
"The first time that I heard of that machine, was here with you." Treize answered. "You mentioned that the AI was odd. How was it odd?"
"Duo claims that it speaks to him in his dreams, along with the people in his life that had died on him. Or that he killed." Trowa said. "I believe him about that, Duo never really slept a lot when we were together. And if he did, it was in Shinigami, his Gundam."
"Oh." Treize said.
"I actually have an ulterior motive for being here." Trowa said. "Duo mentioned that he wanted to leave here and lose himself in the colonies. Are you willing to do that? With him? He's not in either good physical or mental shape right now."
"And you think that I am?" Treize asked with a rueful laugh. "I…Miri kept me pretty much isolated from the rest of the world. Duo may be the better equipped one of us to survive if we left here."
"If you had a place to stay for a couple of months, someplace that you could learn about each other again. That you can both try to heal each other at, would you go?" Trowa asked
"I don't know." Treize said honestly. "I wouldn't want to go alone. But a colony is the better place to be, I don't think that people would remember me as much." And I won't be tempted to run back to Miri, as I would if I stayed on Earth. I know that he hurt me, but he was someone that I knew. Someone that was familiar. Now I'm surrounded by fragments of memories and my enemies. Who have turned out to be kinder to me then my lover/jailer was. And I want to remember, because I forgot something very important when I forgot Duo.
"People wouldn't recognize you because they don't expect to see you. Not with the longer hair and in civilian clothing. They will just think that you look a lot like Treize Khushrenada, not that you are Treize Khushrenada." Heero said.
"And there is a small condo on one of the L3 satellites , that one of Quatre's sisters owns. She's off doing an archeological dig and won't be there for about six months. You can stay there." Trowa said. "She won't mind."
"If Duo agrees to this, I will go. But I don't want to think of that now. I want to see what my aide de camp can tell me about myself. What Relena can tell me about her brother and try and think of something positive to say about Miri to her, because she should hear nice things about him." Treize said. "I think that I'll sit with Duo some more. He…he seems to need the company, even though he will never admit it."
Treize got up and left the room, wanting a quiet place to decide about his future. He shouldn't think about those things near Duo, because he seemed to confuse things for him. Duo was so tough, yet fragile. He coolly planned their escape from that house and then collapsed as soon as he thought he was safe. Duo was a puzzle that he wanted to know, mostly what their relationship had been like and would Duo want to continue it? Should they continue it? Why was his hair so long and he was so short? A thousand little things that he could learn if he agreed to hide from Miri and Howard with Duo. And he wanted to hide, he didn't think that he would be allowed the freedom to walk out on Miri again, if he went back to him.
Trowa and Heero watched Treize walk out of the room. Trowa went over to Heero and rested his head on his shoulders. "Were you going to tell him about Maria?" he asked, playing idly with Heero's bangs.
"No, I'm not that brave. I'll leave that to Duo and Une." Heero replied.
"You know that Une and Relena are going to kill you for losing Duo. Getting Treize back…they might not think that it was worth what happened to Duo." Trowa commented.
"I know. It was our fault and the scary part was that Une didn't get angry, she just looked at the two of us. I knew that if we were within arm's reach, we would have both been dead men. But she didn't say or do anything. She was too angry. She couldn't yell at us, because I don't think that she would have stopped."
"So you fully expect to have Une cause the two of you to self destruct again?" Trowa asked, with a small note of laughter in his voice.
"Yes." Heero said gloomily. "Maybe Duo can talk her out of it, I don't know. But all I can think of is the look in his eyes when I told him that we couldn't get any of that crap off his body that Howard put on him. Duo had such a hopeless look in his eyes. He looked more lost then when we were talking going out to the Barton L3 satellite. When he had nothing left to live for. Now that he may have gotten his T-chan back, he doesn't remember Duo. And Duo…Duo got 'claimed' by someone else."
Trowa nodded his agreement with Heero's analysis of things. "He can't move without being reminded that some sick bastard told him that he 'owned' him and that he would be coming after him."
"Think that they have a chance koi?" Heero asked. "You…you've been there before…can they heal each other?"
To Be Continued ......
Christine
Please send comments to: Devilkitty@speakeasy.net