Notes: #...# indicates thoughts/thinking.
Interlude IX
PeaceMillion. Duo sighed. He'd stopped by here quickly, months ago while the other pilots scattered to the four corners of space. It was only on Quarte's insistence that Howard gave him back Shinigami at all. Howard had been ready to space him rather then talk to him. God knows what the Docs told him. Or what he remembered from Duo's first couple of months with them. So he just took his mate and left, doing hit and run raids out on the fringes of Space on Romafeller convoys. It wasn't much, but the other pilots didn't seem to trust him enough to work with them any closer.
Trowa trusted him, as much as he trusted any of them, which was outside Quatre not at all. Quatre seemed to pity him a little, but wasn't willing to work with him, for his own reasons. Wufei and Heero ignored him. He shouldn't feel hurt, they seemed to be ignoring each other too. But it did hurt. He was lonely. Wufei went back to his colony to study, get refitted and receive his new orders. God knows what Heero was doing, but Quatre seemed to be helping him with it. Duo checked in once in a while with them, he was still reluctantly welcomed at the Winner holdings. He usually checked in when he was near one of them, when he was low on supplies and needed repairs. He really didn't want to hang around any of them. There wasn't much difference between being alone and being on a Winner Satellite.
After a few months alone he was told to return to the PeaceMillion, things were coming to a head. He figured that was true, Gundam was becoming a symbol of the rebellion of space from the Earth, but the one that was leading the charge was Mirialdo in Epyon. Duo idly wondered from time to time, whether the other man's arrogance had turned him into raving maniac a yet from exposure to that machine. It usually happened late at night, when he woke up in the middle of the night from his nightmares. He missed T-chan so much, but couldn't afford to sneak down to see him. Quatre said that he couldn't and Quatre was in charge. That was a strange twist. Heero was the one that Duo would have bet on for taking over operations once contact with the scientists were cut off. Not Quatre. Wufie was a may be, but he freelanced too much. Trowa was definite no vote and most of them wouldn't have trusted him to plan a party, never mind a battle. And that was before they caught him with T-chan.
Duo radioed for landing clearance and didn't miss the reluctance that it was given. The voice sounded familiar, but he couldn't place it. And he didn't miss Howard's not very quiet background comment of "I hoped the Romafellers or White Fang had taken care of the little shit." before he cut the transmission off. He was tempted to leave again but Quatre said come back, so he did. Howard's attitude hurt more then he would have thought. But then their relationship was a business one more then anything, so why should he be upset that the guy sided with Dr. G on his opinion of him? Because he had been a friend once, when he was first on Earth and none of this shit had started. When he thought that the operation would be over in a couple of months and he could lose himself on Earth, be a new person. Forget his past and the killings. And now he sided with the assholes that got him in this mess on their opinion on him.
He was still musing about this, not looking forward to the staying here any length of time, when Quatre ambushed him with a gigantic hug as soon as he was off of Shinigami. He buried his head in his shoulder and was relieved that someone seemed happy to see him, even if it was Quatre. He looked up to see Heero staring at him coldly. So nothing much had changed there, he just hoped that Heero wouldn't whip out his gun and shoot him once Quatre got out of the way.
Quatre was burbling something in his ear, speaking too fast for him to understand, but the general gist of it was that he was happy to see him.What a surprise, he thought that Quatre would be happy to see the Devil if he showed up.
"Quatre, you look good." Duo said quietly not wanting to make a scene, it wasn't worth it, "And thanks for the hospitality while I was wandering around." He tried not to sound too sarcastic. "Every sister that I have run into says 'Hi. Take care of yourself. And Trowa should get lots of hugs.' And they are all okay." Quatre lit up even more, than Duo thought was possible from this message and hugged him again. Duo laughed, "No Trowa, not me. The tall guy with the green eyes, 'kay?"
"That was a thank you for putting up with my sisters. They worry. And fuss. And thank you for coming back. I know that it isn't easy." #How lonely were you out there? I'm sorry that I didn't let you come back sooner, but I still don't trust you. And it won't be something that you'd consciously do to betray us, it will be something that will just happen, because I don't know if you can chose between us and Treize Khushrendra.#
"Quatre. Your sisters were great. And well, Howard bein' a jerk is his own problem." Duo reassured him trying to keep the mask up, before turning his attention to Heero. He might as well tease him before the psycho shot him.
"Hello Heero," Duo teased him. "It's good to see you. I think that Quatre is so happy because I open my mouth and this thing called speech comes out. Not like you and his snuggle bunny."
"I do speak on occasion, Duo." Trowa said behind him. "And I am not his 'snuggle bunny' I prefer the term, 'Harlequin of love'."
Duo laughed and whirled to Trowa a half hug. He couldn't resist it. Trowa actually made a joke within hearing of someone besides Quatre or his sister Catherine. Trowa stiffened, but didn't pull away, willing to put up with Duo's teasing. He figured Duo had been lonely during his time out on the fringes. He'd gotten his own reports back from Quatre's people. Duo had been well behaved, polite; the perfect guest everywhere he'd gone, even though Quatre's sisters had treated him coldly. Aside from the habit of wandering around the house at night, afraid to sleep or too keyed up to relax . He accepted that someone was usually trailing behind him during those jaunts and didn't mind. He seemed to have liked the company, in fact, but Trowa could never figure out what was going on anymore, Duo had gotten to good at hiding himself..
"Just need Wufei and things would be happy and jolly." Duo said. "He's here isn't he? He didn't do something bad after watching..." Duo let his voice trail off. He had heard that Wufei's colony had blown themselves up rather then get taken by Romafeller forces. That Wufei had to watch it really sucked. He hoped that the other boy was okay. As okay as someone who just watched their life disappear in front of them could be.
"Wufei's here." Quatre said quietly. "He doesn't say much."
"It's probably still hittin' him." Duo said quietly, his eyes dark. "It takes a while to realize that your whole world is destroyed. When the crash happens...."
Quatre looked at him with a small frown on his face. He opened his mouth to ask a question, when Duo loudly cut him off. "So's watcha need me for?"
"It's coming to an end." Heero said. Duo didn't have to ask what he was talking about.
"Hopefully." Duo agreed. "So you trust me enough now to fight with you?"
"It was never a matter of trust." Quatre explained in hurt voice. "I just didn't want you angry with me."
"And I would be mad at you why?" Duo asked cautiously. #What'd Quatre do that would make me mad at him?That I would get angry about what had happened. I am, but I'm too numb to deal with it anymore. That he actually jumped T-chan? Yeah, right. Want me to jump T-chan? That's my hormones and other things speaking. Trust was an issue Quatre, whether you realized it or not. You couldn't trust me until now, so you sent me where I would be out of the way or under the watchful eye of someone that you trusted.# Duo ran though a list of things that would make Quatre think that he'd be angry with him. He couldn't figure out what it would be. He was floored by the answer.
"I modified Wing with the same system that Epyon has. We needed the edge." he said guiltily. He had listened to Duo's description of what that had been like, but they needed the information that the ZERO system gave them. They couldn't let Zechs get an edge on them.
"Fuck me." Duo groaned. Heero just stared at him. That explained why Quatre was looking like shit and why Heero seemed to have less personality then usual. What were those two seeing when they climbed into that machine. Heero may be using it full time, but he would wager that Quatre had taken it out for a test drive or two. And where the hell did they get the specs?
"Duo?" Quatre asked in a small voice. #It had to be done. I don't know what Heero's seeing in there, but you were right it is evil. And it wasn't showing me the future, but a bunch of what might have beens.#
"I am mad at you." Duo replied tiredly. "Why do you think I wouldn't be angry with you when the two of you would be playing with what little sanity Heero has?"
"I was the best person for the program. We decided that. I had the best grasp on my emotions and wouldn't be fooled by the machine." Heero said in a monotone. "You had problems because...."
"Heero, you can handle it, but at what cost? When's the last time you talked to Wufei? Have you talked to him since or about his colony self destructing in front of him?" Duo interrupted him. #I will kill you if you start on me, because you may be the best person here for that thing, but I still think that it is evil and will rot your brain.#
"What does that have to do with anything?" Heero asked in confusion.
"If you have to fucking ask, don't bother me. I'll visit you and Zechs in the crazy Gundam pilot home every Sunday." Duo snarled. "I'm tired. I want to see where I'm sleeping, stow my stuff and sleep. I don't want to listen to you bitch at me because I'm not you and I think that the ZERO system bites."
Quatre shook his head and sighed. It had gone better then he thought with Duo, but the blow up might happen when the other pilot had more energy. And when he found out that Lucrecia Noin and Sally Po were on board. The tension between Miss Noin and Duo had been visible in the Sank Kingdom for some reason. She didn't like him for some reason and Duo couldn't figure it out. Duo just was wary around Sally. He thought that she might still be mad at him for stealing her patient and blowing a hole in her hospital. Trowa silently fell in behind Duo as Quatre lead him to where the sleeping quarters were. Howard hadn't wanted to give him anything, but Quatre had insisted. He would really like to know what Howard had against Duo. Heero wanted Duo sleeping with someone, he still didn't trust him, but Quatre wasn't going to ruin what time he had with Trowa by having Duo in the room with them. And trusting Duo was something that Quatre still did, to a certain extent. But he couldn't find anything out about him, nothing, not even a birth date and his loyalties to the cause might not be as firm as they should be because of his involvement with T-chan.
The walk to the pilot's area was silent, Duo not feeling like talking and Quatre wondering what he could ask him without it looking as if he was prying. Trowa just didn't say anything, as usual. Quatre was happy when they arrived at their destination at last. He had felt uneasy about some of the strange looks that Duo had gotten whenever they had passed any of the PeaceMillion's crew.
"Here we are, your own room." Quatre chirped with more perkiness then he felt. "You're between us and Wufei."
"Thanks Quatre, nice of you to care." Duo said tiredly. "Heero and Wufei they still together?"
"They don't appear to be." Trowa said, "but Heero does spend some time with him. I don't think that he knows what he should do.'
"No one does," Duo murmured. "Everything sounds stupid."
Quatre shot him another questioning look, but Trowa shook his head, warning Quatre not to ask questions. Duo would tell him if he wanted to. They didn't know anything about him, but from scattered conversations, something terrible had happened to Duo in the past involving a large number of people of which he had been the only survivor. He might be able to help Wufei.
"We haven't talked to him" Quatre admitted. "He throws stuff at us. Or ignores us."
"S'Okay, not like it hadn't happened before." Duo said quietly. "I'll say hi though. He might want another target."
"If you want to, I just can't help him right now," Quatre said guiltily. #Duo, I'm at the end of my emotional rope being in charge here. You coming back doesn't help and hopefully you will be worth the difficulty, because we can't have a loose cannon. But I couldn't leave you out there wandering on your own and I didn't want to kill you. So please work out.#
"You've been tumbling your brains in the ZERO system, and trying not to have Heero self destruct on you. There's only so much that you can do. I understand that. Where'd you get the plans anyway?" Duo asked, thinking that he might know the answer.
"Treize. Lady Une handed them to me that night." Quatre said, finding the floor very interesting.
"I'll kill him. He knew what it might do to you, and he gave you the plans anyway?" Duo growled.
"The plans were coded and it took us a while to get through them. We really weren't serious about it until after you told us that Epyon had been taken by Zechs. We couldn't have broken it without your report. So if Epyon never had gotten used, we wouldn't have needed to know what was in the disk." Trowa said, worried about the fury in Duo's eyes. What had he seen in that machine that Zechs was piloting. What was he worried about it doing to Heero and Quatre? Duo calmed down after that explanation, slumping against the wall for a second. He sighed, straightened up and keyed his door open.
"I'll forgive him, may be, depending how much damage you take. But such a thing shouldn't exist. And why did Heero get to pilot it? You guys weren't dumb and try an' arm wrestle for the pleasure?" Duo asked teasingly, trying to end the conversation on a better note. Leaving 'em laughing was a good thing. His trademark.
Quatre smiled and Trowa quirked his lips at Duo. He knew why Duo had asked that question. It did look bad that Heero was the one to pilot it, since Quatre was his lover and might be trying to shield him from the side effects of the system. Quatre and he had their worst argument about that. Trowa knew that Heero probably had been the best choice, since he was too emotionally damaged to use it to its full effect. And Quatre was too kindhearted, but he did try it. They had to carry him out of the cockpit. That left Heero, since neither Wufei nor Duo were around to pilot it. If you could have gotten Duo to modify Shinigami that way.
"It was decided that Heero would be the least damaged by the ZERO system, since he was the most emotionally stable one of us at the time. He also had better control of his emotions, he wasn't as 'damaged' as I was. It wasn't like there were a wide range of candidates to choose from." Trowa wryly informed him.
"Okay, but keep any eye on him. You know that it's fucking him, if he's not letting Wufei cry on his shoulder or whatever they do when they are alone. And Wufei's too hurt now to keep him sane. So it's up to you guys, because he doesn't like me. I'm the enemy now. Just don't let him shoot me in me back during combat. It might sound too good for him to pass up." Duo said sadly.
"I understand." Quatre replied. "But I think that you shouldn't be alone, if you go outside this area, I don't trust Howard's people."
"You noticed those looks too?" Duo laughed lightly. "Gettin' better at this Quatre. I'd love to know what Howard was told. And what he told his people. I'll stick to my quarters and hope that I don't get any unexpected guests."
"Duo how can you laugh about it?" Quatre asked, disturbed by Duo's casual attitude about the possible threat of violence in the one place that he should feel safe. He was now seriously thinking of insisting that Duo join him and Trowa at night. He trusted Howard, somewhat, but why was he giving Duo all this trouble now?
"If I didn't, I'd be crying and you don't need that." Duo said soberly as he stepped into his room and closed the door on them. He threw his bag on the bed and headed for the shower area. He wanted one in the worst way. He hadn't been out of Shinigami in a couple of weeks and had been getting ansy. He'd shower, hopefully it would be warm, and then bug Wufei. The others couldn't help him, but he might be able to. It'd be good to be useful again.
Duo closed his eyes and showered quickly, half afraid that Howard would cut the water off when he was soaping his hair. He'd do that for spite. And he ran over what he would tell Wufei, what he had wanted to hear after the Maxwell Church incident and what Wufei would accept. It wasn't like Wufei was into the warm-fuzzy, cry on the shoulder routine. Him and Heero got along so well because they were both stoic school of suffering. And Duo was going to have to combine the two because Wufei needed to cry and get his head together for a while. Then, after they beat Romerfeller and OZ and world peace happened, he could brood in his room and rail against the fates. Duo just hoped that Heero wouldn't shoot him or beat him up for doing this. Well, he'd find out once he did his thing.
Duo dried himself off and got dressed, quickly braiding his wet hair. It wasn't good, but it took forever to dry and he wanted to see Wufei. He hoped that Wufei would talk to him at least because he still might feel odd about the fact that he had been the party crasher on Duo's and T-chan's little love nest. Duo took a deep breath, hoped that things would not blow up in his face and went next door to see if Wufei was willing to let him into his room, even if he didn't want talk to him. He knocked on the door, feeling like a fool. Wufei didn't want to talk to him, he didn't want to talk to anyone probably, but he didn't have the luxury of hurting right now.
"Hey Wufei, could ya let me in 'cause I gotta talk to you." Duo called softly.
"Maxwell I am in no mood." Wufei voice came faintly from the other side of the bulkhead.
"A minute and then I'll leave you alone, 'kay?" Duo asked. Wuei didn't answer but the door slid open to let Duo in. Duo stepped into the darkened room, that smelled faintly of incense.
"Fifty nine seconds." Wufei said coldly.
"There was nothing that you could have done sounds real stupid. So does I'm sorry. But you at least have someone willing to talk to you, so take advantage of it, Wufei." Duo said rapidly, trying to get to Wufei.
"You may not want to talk to me or listen to what I have to say because you think that you can't trust me, but just let me tell you a story about a stupid little kid. Just listen to it and then decide if you want me stay. If you want to talk to me. Since it's just a story I'm gonna start with a nice line, like 'Once upon a time', because after the first line it does go down hill from there. This little kid was real good with his hands. He could fix anything, keep any machine going, Build new ones from scrap practically, which was good because he was living in this broken down area in a broken down colony. This kid lived with a bunch of other children in an orphanage, run by a nice couple. An old priest and a young sister. They loved this kid even though he was bad and didn't always follow the rules. Especially the one that said 'Thou shall not mess with the Feds, for they are evil and quick to smite thee.'
The kid thought that he was immune to these rules because the Feds never caught him messing with their stuff, stealing the spare parts, the suits and ruining the rest. And so it went until the Feds decided that the kid needed to be punished, so when he was out one day they decided to make an example of the orphanage, because there must be rebels there because they have so much trouble with the place. And they bomb it out of existence with everyone the kid ever loved in there. All his little brothers and sisters and the only two people that he remembered as parents, 'cause his died when he was three and he didn't remember them.
And the stupid kid comes back to the hole in the ground, that was where his home, his family, his whole fuckin' world and reason for existence had been, and its all gone. And there was nothing that he could do about it. And it wasn't his fault because he wasn't bigger or faster or smarter then he was. Things like that just happen because people are evil and stupid. The End. And you and I know that there is no happily ever after because things just suck too much."
Duo finished his story with a rush of breath and just looked at Wufei. Wufei looked back at him dry eyed and stoic. Duo mentally sighed was prepared to leave when Wufei sat down and motioned for him to sit on the bed. Duo was surprised when Wufei's voice came out of the darkness, husky with unvoiced sorrows. "There was another part to this tale. A foolish scholar that thought that there was nothing more important then learning and studying. That the Federation would leave him and his alone because they did not bother them. But then one day the foolish scholar received word that the Federation was invading his home. And he did nothing, because he was a scholar and such matters were meant to be handled by warriors and fighters. People who did not respect the written word. And the foolish scholar sat at home while his wife went out in a half finished suit to fight because she believed strongly in the cause. That she was outnumbered didn't matter to her, she was going to fight because that was how things were going to change. They could not be ignored like the foolish scholar hoped that they would be. She fought, she died and her foolish husband decided that taking her place in the fight would be how he honored her memory. They had loved each other, but never felt comfortable about the fact that they were married. But they loved each other and the foolish scholar wanted to honor her in that way.
He was not weak, just foolish and had been trained to fight, but nothing more modern then a sword. But he trained and he fought and he got better. Then he went to Earth to kill those that had killed his wife. He killed many people, not those responsible, but they died and he was satisfied. And then he went home again and to punish this foolish scholar the Federation came again and attacked his home. It was poor and run down by many people's standards, but they were proud. So proud that they decided to kill themselves rather then fall under the jurisdiction of the Romafellers. So they thrust the foolish scholar out into space, told him to fight on and blew themselves up, so that the enemy would die with them. And the foolish scholar watched and could do nothing. And so he survives, out living his family, his people, his wife. Everything that mattered to him. And being able to nothing to save them."
Wufei's voice fell off into the darkness. Duo shifted slightly and laid his hand near Wufei's knee, not saying anything. He couldn't because he was trying not to cry himself, there were too many ghosts in the room with the two of them. If Wufei or him started, the other one would just join in too. So they both sat in silence, until Duo moved again. He grabbed Wufei into an embrace and half wrestled the startled boy to his chest, leaning back on the bed at the same time. Wufei stiffened and fought a little, but didn't want to hurt Duo. He relaxed gradually, listening the sound of Duo's heart underneath his chest. Duo was always been a touching type of person. He'd made an art form out being able to touch people casually. He should have expected that he would be grabbed sometime in this conversation.
"I'm bein' selfish," Duo said at last. Wufei was amused by feeling Duo speak as well as listening to him at the same time. "I wanted someone to do this to me when it happened. You'd never ask for it, so I'm just doing it to you."
"Maxwell." Wufei said softly. "I do not have this overwhelming urge to say that I feel better because you are doing this." #But you are the only person that tried. I think that right now you are the only person that could and that makes whatever trouble that you bring with you worth it to me. Even if it is only for this moment.#
"I know," Duo said softly, starting to slowly rub his back, "Pretend that I'm Heero. I know it's hard, because spandex boy is also Mr. Muscle compared to me, but try. 'Cause I think that he wants to do this, but can't because his brain's turning into Jello and not the sparkling happy kind."
"What is this fascination that you have with food metaphors?" Wufei asked dryly.
"Comes from not eating when you're a kid." Duo replied wryly, then continued soberly. "Don't feel guilty. They do come back to haunt you and they seem to be mad when you feel guilty. People die all the time. It's just that we got left behind because we had something to do."
"Ah." Wufei commented quietly, letting Duo comfort him. He also hadn't expected any sympathy from Heero. He had been too isolated when he was growing up understand the devastation that Wufei was feeling. And Wufei thought that comforting was a woman's job. It was just that he didn't want comfort from the two women that were on board. Sally and Noin he didn't feel comfortable enough around to allow them to get this friendly with him. And Duo, from his little story did understand how much he had lost. Wufei laid there and gradually fell asleep for the first time in ages, Duo's even breathing and soothing strokes lulling him into sleep. Duo dozed a little himself, not trusting himself to fall deeply asleep, he didn't want to dream, because they wouldn't be good ones. He was snoozing when he heard the door open. Duo tried not to tense up, hoping that he could explain to Heero what he was doing here before he punched him out.
Heero walked in silently, not changing his expression when he saw his lover cradled in Duo's arms. Duo looked back at Heero neutrally, hoping that he would at least allow him to roll Wufei onto the bed before he started the fight.
"He needed someone to hold him. Quatre's at his wit's end with you. Trowa can't or won't let someone besides Quatre get this close to him. You have no idea why this is important and the ZERO system isn't letting you understand either." Duo said quietly. "He needed someone and I was available. Sally and Noin he won't let get this close to him. And your Gundam is a rotten companion at times."
"I know." Heero said neutrally. #Why are you doing this? What are you getting out of this? Do you think that you can prove your loyalty this way?#
"If you get on the other side, I can probably shift him so that he won't wake and you can snuggle." Duo offered. #Just take it, damn it. Don't think that every fucking move has to be analyzed. That's the ZERO system thinking for you. I had hoped that since Wufei and the rest of us had treated you like a human being you could still act like one.#
"Snuggle?" Heero asked puzzled.
"Share body warmth. Cuddle?" Duo said, trying to figure out if it was language problem or a cultural one. He didn't think that Heero was that uninformed, Wufei must have taught him something, they had been sleeping together for months. Or may be they were the slambang, back to your own bed type. "He needs a warm body near him. Just to chase away the bad dreams. It might help you too. I'm next door if you need anything."
Heero grunted softly, sliding into the bed, letting Duo shift Wufei onto him so that he could get up. Heero was torn between confusion and amusement when he threw the extra blanket over the two of them. He was startled and would have yelled at Duo when he gave him a light kiss on the forehead before letting himself out the door.
"Duo" Heero hissed. "This isn't funny." #Why are you being nice to the one person that you should hate? And apparently caring about the person that you expect to shoot you in back in combat? I heard you talking to Quatre and Trowa, you expect me to shoot you, I saw it in your sad eyes too. I just wonder when they stopped laughing. We never noticed that they did. It just happened one day. #
"I didn't think it was. You need it too. Don't you have times when you want someone, anyone to touch you. Not hit you or use you. Just acknowledge that you're there and you have feelings?" Duo asked sadly. #I'm so lonely half the time that I could pound my head against the wall until I passed out, just to feel something besides lonely. You're human, don't you feel that way too? I want to go to T-chan and have him hold me and tell me that that things will get better, because they can't get any worse. And you are ignoring the guy that trusts/loves you and needs your help.#
Wufei snorted and murmured at the sound of their voices, shifting on Heero so that he could get more comfortable. Duo waved at Heero's softening glare and let himself out of the cabin. Heero still wouldn't let his guard down around other people. So he'd leave him to Wufei and hopefully they could both get some rest. Duo wandered down to where Quatre had mentioned that he could find something to eat, hoping that he would run into Trowa or Quatre, he wanted to talk to someone. Any of the crew would at best ignore him, the worse would be that they hassled him. He didn't want to put up with either right now. He was happy to see that there was no one in the mess hall and grabbed himself a cup of coffee and a stale cookie. It wasn't much, but it would hold him over until he could get back onto the schedule that the PeaceMillion kept. He sat down and ate in one of the corners and hoped that nothing would happen.
He knew that Howard and company didn't like him, considering they had both the Docs and Zechs had been bad mouthing him in the last few months. And he really didn't remember what had happened before the Doc decided that he was going to train him, he had lost a few days and felt a bit -off- when he had woken up. So for all he knew he had been the flavor of the day for the time that he was out and the crew was bit pissed that they weren't going to get another chance with him. Duo was thinking it over when he noticed Noin and Sally had entered the room. He waved at them and was surprised that both of them came over to where he was sitting to talk to him.
"Hi," Duo said, shifting so that they could sit down.
"Hi back," Sally said warmly. Noin nodded at him and Duo again wondered what the hell her problem was with him.
"Did I ever tell you I was sorry that I blew a hole in your hospital?" Duo asked Sally, grinning at her, slipping back into his clown role easily .
"Now that I think of it, you never did." she said solemnly. "Are you?"
"Kinda, but it did get Heero out which was my main objective." Duo said cheerfully. Noin snorted and both Duo and Sally looked at her.
"I never did get to ask you Noin, what's problem you're having with me?" Duo asked quietly, his attempt at good cheer being ignored by her. "Since most of the crew here is pissed at me too, I'd like to know what you have against me. I can guess at their problem, but you confuse me."
"I don't like you." she said quietly. "I don't trust you and I think that you are lying about what happened between Treize and Mirialdo. I was listening to everything that you were telling Relena."
"I don't lie." Duo said quietly, confused why Noin would be upset about Zechs.
"He wasn't sleeping with Treize at the time, he was sleeping with me!" Noin snarled.
Duo looked at her in confusion, his mind racing. #Great, he was two timing on T-chan and physically abusing him. Why am I not surprised? The arrogance of the man thinking that he could walk into someone's life after months and just jump him again, even after seeing evidence that you were no longer wanted, should have told me that. Or did he think that I came with the room? And Noin is all pissy at me because she doesn't want to know that her boyfriend was sleepin' with his commanding officer. And there is the question of what does he have that I don't, which is hard to answer in this one because both Noin and Treize are OZ officers, good pilots and know who he really is. So why was he sleepin' with the both of them? One for Zechs and one for Miraldo?#
"Ever think that he was doin' both of you just because he couldn't figure out what was going on in his life? He should have told you, but it might have been something that slipped his mind." Duo said softly. "But the only reason I was where I was for the last year was because some one knew that they were getting it on and when he split I was sent in to keep Treize occupied."
"Don't act like you didn't enjoy it. Or that you never had done it before." Howard taunted Duo, coming up behind Sally and Noin.
Duo tilted back his chair and stared at Howard. "I enjoyed it," he admitted cheerfully. "He treated me like a person, not a playing piece in some stupid game. That in itself was seductive. He was nicer to me then any one of the Mad Five was to any of us on their best days. So go take your pissy 'tude and shove it. Remember , you may not like me but the green is still good. You always said that I was your best customer."
Duo's voice ended on a cold note, still staring at Howard with the grin on his face, but his eyes were hard. Sally looked like she wanted to be anyplace else but there and Noin had the good grace to look slightly abashed at Duo's statement. Duo took his feet off the table and grabbed his coffee cup. "And Howard, I may not remember what happened to me during my first few days here, but it's not going to get repeated and anyone that tries something I will shoot." Duo informed him walking past the stunned man.
Howard stared at Duo retreating back for a moment before turning back to the two women. Noin's face was neutral, but Sally's had a suspicious glare on it.
"What did happen?" she demanded harshly.
"Kid's talking tough, wants to make trouble." Howard replied, not meeting her eyes.
"Duo?" Sally laughed coldly. "Tough isn't in him, not like Wufei or Heero. But he doesn't lie and if he says something happened I believe him."
"He was a stowaway. We were bored. It was our playing with him that brought him to the Doc's attention. Otherwise, who know where he'd be?"
"Oh I don't know," Sally started sarcastically. "Living a normal life? Sleeping through the night? Not wondering if his next battle will be his last?"
"Or if he's going to be dead before next week," Noin added softly. "What exactly did you do to him?"
"Nothing damaging, he won't remember much of it if he ever does. He was pumped so full of drugs that he couldn't remember who he was, never mind what happened to him. And I was careful with him." Howard smiled nervously.
"Yeah. I bet you were. Someone that looks as good as Duo doesn't fall into your lap every day. But what would you have done once you got tired of him? Let him go or ship him off with the next load of salvage to highest bidder?" Sally asked furiously.
"Well that never happened now did it?" Howard drawled regaining his confidence. Noin didn't seem to care and Sally wasn't combat trained. He was safe. He was surprised when Sally hauled back and slugged him one, smashing his glasses and blackening an eye.
"I will say this once. You touch him and you die." she threatened coolly. "Anyone on this ship does and you're a dead man, because you're in charge. He doesn't need that. The rest of them shouldn't have to worry about it either. You got the message?"
Howard nodded slowly, wondering what Sally had been doing to be able to slug him like that. She had punch like a guy. Sally looked at him for a moment, spun on her heel and stalked out of the mess room. Noin laughed lowly for a moment and shook her head.
"Duo will either charm you or you hate him. Sally's charmed. I'm neutral on the whole matter. But don't screw with him, because that will cause the rest of them to be distracted and they are needed in the fight for the colonies. They will stick together on this. If I am willing to overlook Wufei slaughtering my students in their sleep, you can keep it in your pants until Duo isn't needed any longer."
Howard shrugged. "He's combat trained now, not as easy a target as you'd want. But he'll do something stupid eventually."
"Duo?" Noin shook her head. "He won't because he's not the clown you think that he is. He managed to lead the other four on a merry chase about his activities. And they are not stupid, even if they are expendable."
Sally stalked along the hallway, trying to catch up with Duo. She found him outside the pilots area and grabbed him from behind. She was startled when he turned and shoved her against the wall, threatening her with a knife. Duo recognized her and dropped back a pace and blushed. "Oops?" he managed to get out.
"Duo you are sleeping with me!" Sally ordered him, unshaken by his attack. She should have realized that he would be jumpy.
"I'm not that kind of a boy!"
"Don't be an idiot, I trust Howard to drive the ship. I don't trust him to keep it in his pants. You're staying with me!" Sally growled at him.
Trowa stuck his head outside his quarters and looked at the two of them. He stepped out into the hallway and stared at the two of them. Duo ducked behind him and cried "She's trying to take advantage of me! Save me from her!"
"Quatre's asleep." Trowa announced flatly.
Duos topped fooling around and stepped out from behind Trowa. "Sorry. I hope we didn't wake him."
"No you didn't. Be quiet."
"I'll bunk with you Sally. Your room or mine?" Duo whispered.
"Yours." Sally said, "And do you know how bad that sounds?" She left to get clothes for the night and hoped that Duo didn't snore.
"Really bad, but shit just does at times." Duo said, his eyes distant, watching her leave.
"Good." Trowa turned to go back into the room as Duo grabbed his shirt sleeve.
"How's he doing?" Duo asked, jerking his head in the direction of the room.
"Not good. He has nightmares. Would you know why?" Trowa asked gently.
"I might, but I think that it's different for different people." Duo said uncomfortably.
"Can you tell me what you saw. You never came out and said that." Trowa asked.
"I'll tell you, in my room. I'll be fast." Duo promised as Trowa waffled, not wanting to leave Quatre alone. Trowa slowly nodded as Duo keyed open his room. "You heard me tell you that it talks to you? He's probably getting that, maybe. Or something else because he's so damn sensitive to begin with. And I don't mean that he's nice guy kinda of sensative. The way that he could tell if something was wrong with one of us kind of sensitive. That I don't know how it would work. Did he tell you?"
"Just that it allowed the pilot to see the future to a certain extent. That allowed them to predict the movement of the Mobile Dolls. But there is something else too?" Trowa asked.
"I think that it shows you the real you. Not what people think you are." Duo said slowly, sitting down on the bed. "But I also think when it shows you the future and the alternate futures, it might tell you what might have been."
"So Heero and Quatre are getting what?" Trowa asked, puzzled.
"I don't know about Heero. Nothing probably. But the might have been stuff might be why he is shutting down. He might see what he could have been without this damn war and the docs. Quatre might be finding out that he's more like Heero then his father and it could be tearing him up inside. Our innocent friend might learn that he could kill as easily as I and Heero do."
"Heero, yes he is a killer. But you Duo?" Trowa asked, confused. Duo wasn't a killer.
"I kill easily now. Very easily. I got as used to it as Heero is and in probably a shorter time. My two main functions over the last year were to keep T-chan entertained and to kill people. Most of the time I wasn't with you I was setting up for an assassination or hiding after I did one. Guns, knives, poison - I used it all. Even my braid once when the bastard didn't die fast enough." Duo's voice was soft and dull. "That drove me to T-chan's bed more often then anything. I was so sick of Death. I was Death, I understood that, but it had become an endless assembly line. I wanted to feel someone, have them touch me. Sounds pathetic doesn't it? Since he needed the same thing too." Duo laughed mirthlessly, hugging his pillow. "We were two burnt out puppets towards the end Trowa, driven by outside forces more then anything. We still are. I'm here in Space and he's on Earth waiting to hear anything about me, if I'm dead. If I'm alive."
Duo was silent for a second and looked up at Trowa, "Will we ever be able to leave this game to finally live?"
End Part 13
Christine
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