06-Dec-2000

Title: Promises and Head Over Heels (Songfic)
Author: von (sablexo1@yahoo.com)
Category: yaoi, angst
Rating: NC-17 for description
Pairings: 3X2, 2X3
Warnings: Lemon in some scenes. Angst. AU - No guarantees that my interpretations of characters or events will agree with yours, so a general OOC warning.
Spoilers: Series, EW
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing characters and universe are the property of the copyright owners. 'Promises In the Dark' by: Pat Benatar & Neil Geraldo @copy; 1981 by Big Tooth Music, Neil T. Geraldo and 'Head Over Heels' by Tears for Fears (Orzabal/Smith) used without permission. Our stuff is ours. No money being made here. As with all our fics so far, while our goal is to stay as in character as possible, any discrepancies are our mistakes.
Feedback: Appreciated... to the list or sablexo1@yahoo.com.
Notes: The two songs used, //Promises in the Dark// and [Head Over Heels] intermingle. This is dedicated to my homie, Bonne and Cassiopeia and her outstanding devotion to Lord Trowa..Enjoy!

Promises and Head Over Heels by von

Never again, isn't that what you said?

Trowa sat on the window ledge looking down onto the empty streets below. The rain suited his mood and the water flowing down the window pane accented the feeling of life force flowing from his veins. No need to cut his wrists, blood was not needed.

What the hell is wrong with you? the voices in his head asked. Not only do you find yourself cold, aching and staring out some hotel window, but why the hell did you cross the line?

Oh Trowa, you promised. This time was for real. This time would be different. It doesn't take all of this... Passion wasted. And for what? A ...promise, he thought derisively as a sigh from the bed caught his attention and he turned to look.

The figure on the bed moved in their sleep, sighing like a child safe in his crib. A careless leg thrown over the covers exposed pale skin to the wash of flickering red neon from the window.

Hours earlier.....

"20..19..18..17..."

Is that who I think it is? Trowa thought, looking out over the crowd.

Ignoring the mass of people in the club, he navigated through the throng, taking care not to disentangle the celebrating couples locked in intimate embrace. Confetti and streamers decorated his hair and in a few seconds, he knew there would be tons more dropped from the ceiling as everyone rang in the New Year.

"Hey!" he called over the loud din, as tapped the shoulder of the reveler he recognized immediately.

Excited, but somewhat bloodshot eyes turned to him and then widened.

"Trowa!!!" he screamed with sincere joy. The next second Trowa found himself locked in strong arms.

"Hi," Trowa replied, hugging back. It was good to find a familiar face among the strangers. He started to lean back, but noticed that the arms around him weren't relaxing.

"It's been a long time," he said.

Trowa sighed and embraced his friend again. "Yes," he said, remembering. A small voice warned that this much contact was potentially dangerous, but it was New Year's Eve and this was his friend, his comrade in arms.

"5...4..."

They moved back by mutual agreement. Their eyes locked and Trowa gasped, seeing the expression in the amethyst depths. His lips parted slightly as he felt the quicksilver flash of passion.

No, he thought, feeling himself fall into those eyes. Not with him. Don't cross the line.

"..2...1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

"Happy New Year, Trowa," he said loud enough to be heard. Then, he moved forward, his eyelids drifting down.

"Happy New Year," Trowa replied, tilting his head slightly.

They met in the middle, a little tentative at first, then blended together in a deep and lingering kiss that surprised them both. All around them, the world erupted in song and sound, but the space they occupied was quiet and still.

Trowa felt him relax in his arms as their bodies pressed together. It was as though they had known each other for eons, instead of years. Strong hands traveled up his back and looped around Trowa's broad shoulders. Sliding his hand behind the other's neck, Trowa's fingers massaged the knotted muscles there, feeling him relax even further.

Trowa felt his mind slipping further away from the questions in his head and into the sweet oblivion of the moment. His body flushed with heat as the kiss reached its crescendo.

Ok, this goes no further, he remembered thinking as he sank into the darkness.

Duo ---

'Oh god,' Duo thought, feeling that exquisite body press against his own. 'I am in *deep* here.'

Arms enveloped him, the scent and presence of Trowa were overwhelming. The mouth against his told him that this was not a new thing. It spoke of experience and great passion underneath what Duo had come to know as a solid, cool form.

'But I've seen him vulnerable, he thought, feeling the strong fingers work their magic on his neck. 'So... open... afraid. He was afraid,' he thought, moving his arms down to Trowa's waist as he pulled him even closer. Protection... too late. The war was over. The rest were dreams, ghosts of the past.

Duo moaned a little around the kiss, deepening it further. He knew it was the time, the place and the liquor which dictated his actions, but he never lied to others or to himself. Something deeper and more profound was at play.

Behind closed lids, Duo saw the image of Trowa in pain and despair. He saw Trowa regain himself and become even stronger from having gone through the experience of losing his memory. God, how could I have been so flippant, so arrogant? Trowa I made jokes, I was glad it wasn't me. I was afraid of you... Trowa, I'm ... sorry, he thought, holding on tighter and giving his all in their union.

Trowa ---

No, Trowa thought, wanting to go further and wanting to run at the same time.

I can't do this!

The thought burst through his consciousness and emerald green eyes blinked open, even as the kiss continued.

Trowa broke the kiss, leaving them both gasping for air. He looked at the face before him and as Duo opened his eyes, Trowa felt his heart constrict in his chest.

Duo---

Duo opened his eyes slowly. His heart was beating too fast, too hard, and his body was trembling. Get a grip, Maxwell, he admonished himself and hoped that it would bring him back to stability. The hope was in vain. Once again, his eyes found Trowa's and Duo could not look away.

He licked his slightly swollen lips and noted with some satisfaction that the man in front of him was having some difficulty breathing as well.

Say something! Tell him what you feel, he thought, then felt that wry grin stretch his mouth. Not likely.

Trowa ---

Panting, Trowa swallowed hard. Standing there, he saw Duo's familiar grin and nodded as safe ground rose up to meet his feet.

For a moment, he watched Duo as he searched for something to say.

Duo ---

Duo felt it too. Suddenly, he could speak again. "Yeah, Happy New Year, Barton," he said, feeling his emotions settle back into the neat little pouches of darkness where they belonged. "Maybe we should sit down somewhere.." he offered.

Trowa nodded once and the gesture caused a shiver down Duo's back. Those eyes, that focus was on him. He didn't deserve it, but what the hell. It was New Year's...morning now. Things would go back to normal when the sun came up. Yeah, right, Duo thought, shaking his head a little.

The pitter-patter of rain caught Trowa's attention and he turned back to his view out of the window.

That's it, Trowa thought. Admit it. You're afraid. You're afraid to take the chance and Duo is all about chance.

"What about Heero?" he had said, recalling the conversation at the table.

Amethyst eyes looked up at him and that damned grin that elicited a response before Trowa could stop it. "What about Quatre?" he had countered.

Trowa sighed. "Touché," he said and raised a glass to Duo.

The reaction was one that left him at sea once again. Duo had closed his eyes tightly and shook his head.

"Sorry, man," Duo said, suddenly looking twenty years older. The wide, violet eyes looked up at Trowa with nothing to hide. "It was too great a risk to take," he said. "I preferred that he remembered me as the knockabout American with the big mouth. Duo the daring, Duo the Flying Ace, God of Death... not Duo the besotted fool."

On impulse, Trowa had reached out and taken Duo's hand. "I understand," he said.

The violet eyes had sought his and locked on. "Yeah," Duo had replied, squeezing Trowa's fingers.

"It was the same for me," Trowa had confessed.

What the hell did I say? Trowa thought, replaying the conversation. Then, What didn't you say. Reaching up, Trowa traced a pattern in the condensation on the window pane. You confessed everything there was to confess and then some. He knows everything now and you have no one to blame but yourself. You let him in.

All the way in. Now, there is no going back, Trowa thought.

So lost in his thoughts, Trowa didn't notice when the occupant of the bed padded over quietly.

Duo ---

"Hey, Trowa," Duo said, sleepily. He dropped a hand on Trowa's shoulder. "You're like an ice cube. Aren't you cold?" he asked, yawning.

Seeing the look on Trowa's face as he turned, Duo knelt on the floor beside him. "What's up?" he asked, feeling a sense of dread and familiarity at first. Looking up at Trowa, though, it all receded into the background. He is so incredible, Duo thought, caught once again.

Trowa and Duo ---

"It's not you, Duo," Trowa answered quietly.

"This was a mistake, right?" Duo said, placing his hand on Trowa's bare thigh. The cool gave way to warmth underneath his hand.

Trowa sighed audibly. "No," he answered, then, shook his head. "I...I don't know, Duo. That's the truth. I came to the bar tonight, because I didn't want to be alone. I came to that particular bar, because I needed a little space."

"Freedom," Duo said, blinking slowly.

Trowa looked down at him. He looked like an angel. The impossibly long hair cascaded over Duo's shoulders, rendering him something precious and unearthly in the rain washed light of the window.

"Yes," Trowa answered. "I guess. Then I ask myself, if it's freedom I want, then why do I feel so lonely?" he finished, turning his face back to the window.

Duo reached out and took Trowa's hand in his. It was cool to the touch as well, but warmed quickly. He placed it at his cheek and closed his eyes for a moment, not thinking, just reacting. "Maybe freedom isn't the issue. Freedom is all we got, Trowa. It's nothing new. Maybe it's being alone and the fear."

Trowa turned his face back to Duo. A single tear rolled down his cheek as the simple words sank in. "This is it, isn't it?" he said softly. "On Libra, I vowed not to kill my heart again. I...I opened up. I learned how to do that, but there was always a little part I kept locked away, Duo."

Duo smiled. "Self-preservation, man," he said, taking Trowa's other hand and warming it as well. "Even if you do go crazy and try and get close to anyone you can for an hour, a day. That's how you keep the unit moving on. No harm in that."

"And what about that?" Trowa asked, capturing Duo's face in his hands. "The getting close, I mean. I hate feeling so.. desperate. But isn't that a part of the game?"

Duo closed his eyes, feeling every experience, every time he'd gone with someone and woke up alone. He had blamed love for Heero at first, but that didn't hold up after a few months, let alone the six years since he'd seen his friend last.

Moving, he stood up and sat beside Trowa, then wrapped his arms around the green-eyed man. "Yes," he answered, feeling Trowa's skin, again, warm next to his own. "But it's not the whole game, Trowa. I've seen... miracles out there. Two people... finding each other and holding on. It happens too."

Trowa sighed deeply and slid his arms around Duo's body.

"Something happens and I'm head over heels"

He nodded, feeling some of the weariness in his soul lift. Duo smelled good and felt good.

"So, I'm not dreamin' here, huh," Duo said, with a smile as he opened his eyes. Trowa's arms felt good. "I mean we really...you really..."

Trowa chuckled. "Yeah, we really did." he said, wondering how the hell the smile on his face happened. Recent memories flooded his mind and Trowa leaned over and kissed Duo deeply.

Duo felt the world go away, as he gripped Trowa's shoulders. His body tightened painfully as he remembered Trowa's body against his. As they parted, Duo breathed heavily. "Look, I don't want to scare you, but you're... you're crashing me here, big time"

"Huh?" Trowa answered, breathing heavily himself. Then he licked his lips. "Oh," he continued in understanding. Taking Duo's hand, he placed it over his lap. "Well, you're doing the same."

Duo closed his eyes, as his hand squeezed Trowa's firm flesh. "Ummm, yeah," he said, leaning forward and kissing Trowa hard. He gasped as Trowa's hand closed around his shaft, elevating his temperature.

"Let's..ummm, go do some more," Duo offered, moving his head back. "I promise I'll let you go...at some future time."

Trowa chuckled. "No, don't promise that," he said, then pulled Duo to his feet and back to the bed.

He then gently pushed Duo back against the sheets and moved on top of him. Words became unnecessary as body melded with body. The first time had been like a lightening strike, quick, brief with power. This time, they took more time, each exploring the other. Gasps and cries blended into the drama played out on the bed.

Trowa rocked inside Duo's body, possessing him, even as he was being possessed. Duo's hands traveled the length of Trowa's strong body, learning every curve. At times, they tasted each other, crying out and into the sheets as they released in ecstasy and passion.

At long last, they lay in each other's arms, drowsy and sated.

"I think this is going to be an interesting year," Duo said, yawning as a hint of daylight filtered through the curtains.

"An auspicious year to be certain," Trowa answered. "And hey, no disappearing at daylight."

"Promise," Duo replied, sliding his arm around Trowa's waist and settling down to sleep.

Owari

von

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