19-Apr-02
Title: Promise of the Rings
Series: A Matter of Heart
Arc: Dance of the Heart #4
By: Andrea Readwolf
Email: <andrea_readwolf@hotmail.com> or <andrea_readwolf@hotmail.com>
Rating: YA-Adult
Pairings: 3+4, 1+2+5, 6+9/s6x9, 6+13, 11+S
Archive: This fic and others in this Series are hosted at these wonderful sites:
P-Chan’s Heaven: http://yheaven.tripod.com/fic/andreareadwolf.html
Eos’s Fan Fic Archive: http://www.geocities.com/The_Eos/fanfic.html
GW Addiction! http://www.gwadditction.com
Warnings: The following fic contains scenes that are humorous and angst; with Incoherence and random POV switching. Original Characters are presented; all characters are IC according to the author's interpretation of them. Suicide-attempt
Lemon-Lime-goodness. HETERO.
Spoilers: Gundam Wing and its OVA: Endless Waltz.
Feedback: C&C is always welcomed and adored. Constructive Criticism is… digestible. ^_~
Acknowledgements go out to the wonderful people who have made my sojourn in GW-fanfiction more than just enjoyable: Thank You!
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters belong to Bandai, Sunrise and Sotsu Agency and are only being used for non-profit entertainment purposes. References to printed texts, films, sitcoms, musical pieces, and/or other fanfictions don’t belong to the author either.
Notes: This is the Sequel to "In the Pale Moonlight" and represents Part 4 in the DANCE OF THE HEART Arc. The action picks up hours after Heero blows up the Mariemeia’s fortified castle and continues up through the following Christmas. Original characters will be appearing throughout the fic: the Behr siblings, the Winner Clan, the Raberbas, etc.
Additional Note: It's come to my attention that Wufei seems to be getting more and more OOC in accordance to the series. To this observation I reply: Wufei has just spent 6 months in the tender loving care of two sexy young men (Heero and Duo), and has been living under the influence of not only these two men, but Quatre and Trowa, too. This is a habitate situation that did not occurr during the series, and if it had, I believe there would have been a great personality shift in all the pilots (just as, I *hope* we're seeing now in this part of the story and, which hopefully, is obvious in following time-line stories in the Matter of Heart Series).
This fic and the ideas contained within are copyright of the author and may not be reprinted without permission.
Song Lyrics Used: Closer (NIN), The Only Time (NIN), Terrible Lie (NIN), Ringfinger (NIN), Sin (NIN), Something I Can Never Have (NIN), Down In It (NIN), That’s What I Get (NIN), and All I Ask of You (Phantom of the Opera).
June 198 AC
Mars Colony, The Hub
Noin sighed heavily as the hot steam of the refresher surrounded her. She didn’t know what was getting to her more—the stress of trying to set up an official government on Mars….or Zechs.
They have been friends and partners for a very long time, and she wouldn’t deny it--There were many times when she hoped they could be more than just friends and partners. In the six months they’d lived on Mars, they’d shared sex twice. Two times and both had been when she’d actively pursued the coupling. Afterwards, Zechs never acted as if something had happened. They went back to being just friends and partners.
That was hard on her. Very hard. She wanted to shout at him, hit him and call him ten different kinds of bastards.
But she didn’t. She couldn’t. She just followed along and played the game like nothing had happened.
She wasn’t stupid—at least, she didn’t think of herself as stupid… She knew that Zechs and His Excellency had been—dare she say it?—lovers. But she also knew that other than Relena, she was the other living person Zechs ever showed any caring for. Treize was gone, Relena was a big girl now who didn’t need her brother’s protection, and Noin… she was very, very lonely…
And it was wearing on her. Taking more out of her than this hassle of setting up a government on the red planet. She was too tense; sprung tighter than a spring. She needed to do something before she popped….
Stepping out of the refresher, snatching up a towel on her way, she entered the bedroom portion of their apartment and slapped Zechs’s leg. "We’re going out," she decided.
The pale blond man looked up at her from under his arm as he lounged on the bed doing absolutely nothing. "Excuse me?"
"Get dressed," she ordered, replacing the towel with a pair of panties and a bra. "We’re going out."
"Luce--!" the grown 6’2" man whined. "It’s *Saturday*--!"
She turned and shot his protest down with one glare.
Sulking at having his rest day intruded upon, but thinking better of arguing with his dark-haired partner when she was most obviously in a ‘mood’, Zechs obediently slid into a pair of dark grey pants, a motley white-grey-and-black tee, and snatched up his black jacket before following her heels out the door and into the streets of the Hub.
"Luce…this is a hacker stop," he said, staring up at the tiny pawnshop she was turning into.
"Yes, so it is," the woman replied. "Let’s hope they have what we need."
Shaking his head, but not ready to argue with her, he followed her in just in time to see her talking to the couple behind the counter and the man’s face lighten as he darted into the back.
"We have so many soldiers who come to Mars now, you know," he heard the woman saying as he approached the counter.
"Here we go!" the man returned, carrying—
"Swords?" Zechs asked, turning to his partner.
"Yes, these will do nicely…" Noin almost purred, reaching up to take a blade.
Specials’ class—just like her one back home; fit like it belonged in the palm of her hand. The blade itself was a little dull and nicked, but nothing too damaging. Nice balance of weight….
"Pick one, Zechs," she told her partner, giving the sword in her hand a little twist.
He did, choosing one that was more after the Romerfeller’s design of the aristocrats, but good and effective none-the-less.
She paid for the blades, purchasing some care kits as well, before leading him back out onto the streets and into the spaceport.
"What are you planning, Noin?" he asked as she headed straight for one of the empty hangers, walked straight to the center, pulled her blade from its scabbard, tossing the sheath away as she turned to face him with a raised blade salute, and said, "Defend yourself, Zechs."
The blade sliced through the air with a downward sweep.
"You can’t be serious," he replied, staring at her with disbelief. What game was she playing at, anyway? "I haven’t played with swords in over… two years?"
"When?" she demanded, slowly advancing on him.
He thought back… yes, that last time. He could still see the smile on his ginger-haired lover’s face as Treize teased him for spending more time in a mobile suit than practicing his other defenses. Zechs had argued that—
He reacted on honed skills that, despite their lack of use in two years, still were like second nature to him—bringing the sheathed sword up to block Noin’s strike. She was pulling back for a second strike before he had a chance to release his blade. He turned, side-stepping her third and fourth attack. The fifth and sixth strikes were his.
The ringing cry of swords as metal struck metal echoed in the hanger.
Sweat was dripping from his bangs, plastering his tee shirt to his back and chest. Across from him, Lucretia was red-faced and panting; her shoulder-length dark hair pulled back into a short ponytail. He was startled to realize how long the woman’s hair had gotten. As a rule, OZ members kept short hair. It was like another separation from the War… They were no longer soldiers. No longer soldiers, but they were still fighting.
Zechs attacked, muscles aching as he pressed on speed that he hadn’t needed to use in ages. With a sharp twist he managed to knock the sword from her hands. His mistake was backing off.
"Never lower your defenses, Milliardo. Even when your opponent seems defenseless."
The words of wisdom sprung to mind even as Noin’s kick knocked him to the ground. There was a splattering of applause from the crowd of people who had followed the clamor into the hanger and were watching the sparing. He rolled quickly to his feet as Noin scuttled for her sword. They faced off again.
"How long do you plan to continue this, Noin?" he asked as they circled each other.
"How long until you fall?" she returned, attacking.
Block, block, parry, thrust, turn, block, strike, guard. Forward, advance; backwards, retreat. The dance of swords. Pitting skill against skill. His blood was singing with exhilaration; his muscles screaming protest at the workout. It felt good. It felt real good, he decided and laughed.
"Let’s see if your still smiling when you’re kissing Mars turf, Zechs!" Noin taunted, retreating to his advance, turning and smacking him on the ass.
The crowd was hooting and hollering, cheering them on. It was an added stimulant, exciting their blood further. They were both swaying on their feet now, too stubborn to back down.
"What’s going on here?" a woman’s voice demanded.
Zechs used the momentary distraction to once again knock Noin’s sword free, and this time he followed through, snatching her wrist and twisting it behind her back. "Do you yield?"
Blue eyes flashed with fiery spirit. "Never."
She twisted, dipping and pushing his weight up and over her shoulder. He landed on his back with a loud <OOMPHF>--but he held on to her, and she yelped when he pulled her down with him. He rolled, pinning her to the ground and grinning down at her.
"Now do you yield?"
"It’s looking more plausible," she replied, struggling to free her wrists from where he held them over her head.
There was cheering and groaning as people who had placed bets on the outcome of the fight now had to pay up.
"Good," Zechs grinned, levering up so he could look down at her.
Someone’s blue shoe was tapping impatiently right next to them. Zechs and Noin both looked up into the face of a very pissed off blonde woman.
*
"I didn’t realize you would be joining us so soon, Representative—" Noin was saying before being cut off.
"Well, that’s a relief," the blonde woman snapped. "And here I was worried this was how you treated all political candidates."
She sighed, falling into the seat behind the desk. "I apologize," she said wearily. "Traveling with a two year old is never fun. Please, let us try again?" The woman’s bright and sincere smiling radiated off her face as she stood again and approached the two Preventer agents.
"Preventer Wind? Preventer Fire?" she greeted, shaking their hands. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you. I am Ranalyn Winner, candidate for the Mars Representative Council."
Zechs and Noin took another look at the blonde woman, re-evaluating their impressions of her. Long blonde hair pulled back into a French knot; conservative styled blue dress suit; large blue eyes that radiated sincerity and a caring personality…. They wondered if there was even a point in meeting the other representative canidates.
"I knew there was going to be a lot of work," Ranalyn Winner was saying as she, her husband Kersen, their two-year old son Kersen Jr, and the two Preventers sat at one of the few restaurants in the Hub area. "I just didn’t understand how much."
"Well, I can tell you things have already improved quite a bit since Earth Sphere passed that bill three months ago," Noin replied, watching Zechs as he played with the toddler.
"Still…" the blonde woman shook her head. "I’ve been getting updates from WEI and I still wasn’t prepared. I marvel at how people have managed to live here this long in such—"
"Careful, this is people’s home now," Noin teased, knowing exactly what the other woman meant. "The Hub is pretty much self-contained for the moment. No atmospheric leaks or structure collapses in the last month. Some of the other clusters, though…"
Kersen grinned at them. "You just give me and my crew a list of all your problems and we’ll dig in on them like they are a chocolate cake to be devoured," the dark man promised.
"It seems WEI has a lot invested in this planet," Zechs said, looking away from the little boy who was banging his spoon on his high chair table.
"Didn’t you hear?" Rana asked, leaning forward with a teasing smile. "The Winners plan on taking over the planet and making our own little oasis!"
"Are you sure one planet’s big enough?"
She laid in bed waiting for sleep to come, but it didn’t. Looking at the small time piece on the nightstand she realized she’d been laying in bed for almost two hours. Too many thoughts were raging between her ears to let her body go to sleep it seemed.
"Zechs?" she asked finally. "Do you still think about him?"
No answer came, but then, she really hadn’t been expecting one.
"I know you… you loved him, very much, and even if I didn’t understand your motives during the war, I’m pretty sure you still cared for him… I just don’t understand how I fit into that. He’s been dead for two years…I mean, you’d think that I’d have a chance, you know? I’m pretty, I’m smart, can hold my own in a fight… what’s wrong with me that I’m not good enough to replace him?" she whispered to the darkened room.
"I still wake up sometimes, at night," his voice startled her and she felt her stomach harden, as if expecting a blow, "and I don’t remember, and I expect him to still be here…"
"Zechs…"
"You can’t replace him because I loved him." There was a half-laugh. "I would even die for him…." He rolled over on his bed until he was facing her in the dark. "I care for you very much, Noin, but I don’t love you."
There it was, and it hurt. "I know," she whispered back chokingly. "I know no matter how much I love you, you don’t love me back… I just don’t understand why…I…"
"Noin… I…" There was a rustle of sheets as Zechs kicked himself free from the linen and rolled out of bed. Tentatively, he crawled into bed with her and pulled her into his arms. "I’m sorry…." He said as he gently rocked her in his arms and she cried on his shoulder.
The artificial lights outside started brightening at around 0600 hours until 0800 hours, almost like a mockery of real daybreak. As a rule, Zechs and Noin usually didn’t bother getting out of bed before 7—luckily, neither one was really a morning person—but this morning waking up even at that late hour seemed cruel. She became aware of an almost uncomfortable feeling of being smothered before anything else registered. The heavy fatigue that comes with crying along with the headache was there, too—like a hangover, ready to greet her. For a moment, she wondered what happened last night.
And then she remembered and moaned.
Behind her, against her throat, Zechs sounded a protesting grunt and pulled closer to her.
Noin was suddenly wide-awake. His arm was acting as a pillow for her head, his leg thrown over hers, his other arm wrapped around her middle… ‘It would be so easy to… a little wiggle and shimmy… a bit of a moan…’ she thought even as her body obeyed.
Zechs’s body reacted, rocking against hers. "Treize…"
A sigh of defeat left her. "Zechs," she called gently. "Let me up, I need to get dressed."
"Hmmm?"
"It’s morning," she tried. "Time to get up."
Zechs moaned but obediently released her, rolling over to go back to sleep. Swallowing her bitterness, Noin waiting until she could lock herself in the refresher before sliding against the wall until she was huddled on the floor, crying, and wondering just what the hell she was doing on Mars in love with a man who could never love her.
"So we’ll meet Thursday morning," Quatre said, grinning at the two women as they headed purposefully down the hallway to the waiting shuttlecraft. "And you can give me those files to look over."
"How ‘bout I send your secretary those files now and we can discuss them Thursday during our match," Dorothy replied.
"Fair enough," the blond young man laughed. "I’ll have some time to read them on the shuttle—I hope."
"Good. They will be in your secretary’s hands in less than an hour."
Quatre shook his head—he didn’t doubt the other woman for a minute.
"Now," Relena said, reasserting herself into the conversation. "What news do you have out of Mars?"
The grin on the young man’s face widened. "I actually just talked to my sister earlier. She said she stepped off her carrier and the first thing she saw was a crowd of people circling around a sword fight going on in one of the hangers."
"A sword fight!?"
He nodded, his blue eyes twinkling with laughter. "Any guesses as to who?" The two women shook their heads. "It seems Preventers Wind and Fire were… honing their swordsmenship skills."
Dorothy laughed right out, while her companion looked shocked. "Mister Milliardo *was* a fine swordsman—almost as good as myself. Of course, he learned from Treize, too."
"Yes, well, apparently my sister scolded both of them before taking them out to dinner," Quatre informed them, chuckling now as well. And then he sighed, rubbing his face with hands, feeling suddenly very tired. "She says it’s a mess still there…"
"Well, we knew it would be," Relena reminded him, gently. "We’ve only really been able to get to work for three months now. It’s going to take time to get the Mars colonies in tip-top shape."
"I just don’t understand how people would be willing to live there in some of those conditions she described…."
"They think they are pursuing knowledge," Dorothy quipped, rolling her eyes.
"That’s great, but—"
"In twenty years," Relena cut him off, "Mars will be the poshiest place to live. The cream of the crop will have homes there."
"If we do our job right," he conditioned.
"When we finish our job," she corrected.
"Why is she here again?" Wufei asked his partner, eyeing the redheaded child distrustfully.
"It’s take your daughter to work day," Sally told him for what must have been the fifth time in the last hour alone.
"You’re not her mother," he pointed out.
She sighed, turning in her seat to freeze him with a look. "No," she replied with deadly calm. "Anne is, and in case it has escaped your noticed, not a lot of people are allowed into Anne’s office."
"Hmphf."
"Hey-lo peeps!" a chipper voice called out into the hanger.
"Duo! Heero!" the girl cried, running out of the office where Wufei and Sally were waiting. "Wow! You guys both look really good!"
"Thanks, Mei," Duo was replying as Wufei and Sally both left the office.
"Took you long enough," Wufei growled.
Heero just shot him a look before directing another pointed look at the child Duo was now conspiring with.
"Take your daughter to work day," the Chinese teen answered.
"She’s not your daughter," Heero calmly informed his boyfriend.
Wufei, for his part, turned to his partner and said, "HA!"
Sally ignored him and instead asked Heero, "Where’s Trowa?"
"With Quatre," he replied, before turning around to see just what exactly Duo was offering to let the child hold. "Put your gun away, baka."
"The safety’s on," Duo protested—right before a loud crack sounded.
Somewhere on the other side of the hanger, a can went hopping into the air. Grinning happily, Mariemeia put the safety back on and handed the firearm back to a stunned Duo with a pleased "Thank you."
"Mariemeia, what did your mother tell you?" Sally Po asked, staring the girl down.
She looked down before replying sullenly, "No handling guns…"
"Okay, now, today’s mission is real simple—babysitting," Sally started filling in the two new Preventers. "Sorry it’s nothing exciting for your first day on the job."
"Hn. Whatever," Heero replied, eyeing the size of the carrier in the hanger near them. "Who we babysitting?"
"A bunch of politics," the woman replied with an air of indifference. "Preventer Wing, Preventer—I’m sorry, I just refuse to say it."
Duo’s grin widened. "Auh, c’mon, Sally, say it!"
"No," she refused, shaking her head. "You can let the others call you Preventer Death or Devil or whatever the hell it is, but unless you can come up with a more serious name I’ll just refer to you as 02."
Duo stuck his tongue out at her while both his boyfriends tried to hide their smirks by looking away.
The politics Sally mentioned turned out to be Quatre and a couple other Senate members; the flight, uneventful in the extreme. Still, Wufei had to admit, it was rather nice having his lovers working with him. Now, if only Duo didn’t insist on allowing the child to pilot…
For the next two weeks Zechs came to her bed and held her while she slept. She didn’t ask him why and he didn’t offer a reason. They didn’t make love, or even have sex if you want to differentiate the two, and otherwise little to nothing changed in their everyday actions. Except… every once in a while, Noin would have sworn she caught him looking at her, and sometimes he offered her a little bit of a smile or squeezed her hand for no apparent reason. One day he actually hugged her. She wasn’t sure what to make of it, or even if she should make something of it at all. And she certainly wasn’t prepared for what happened six nights later.
"Tea, Miss Relena?"
"Hmm? Oh, yes, Dorothy, thank you."
"Really, Miss Relena, I don’t know why you put up with all those silly old foggies," the blonde girl snuffed, setting the tea tray down on a side table in the office of the young world leader.
"Because," Relena sighed, easing away from the tower of papers on her desk, "One day *we* will be the ‘old foggies’, as you so lovingly put it, Dory. It’s important to remember that no one adjusts easily to change, and what we’re doing is asking people to change. Thank you."
Dorothy placed the cup in her hand before propping herself upside the desk. "Nonsense. I always thought I adjusted rather well to change, and you yourself are remarkable at adapting to your surroundings, Miss Relena. Why, just look! From a lowly representative’s daughter, to princess of a role-modeling government, to Queen of Earth, and back to a lowly Representative—and all in under a year!"
"If you’re wanting to annoy me, Dorothy, you’re doing a rather good job at it, today."
"Not my intentions at all! I was merely trying to illustrate how not all people are so opposed to change," the blonde woman smiled, taking her tea tray back out of the office.
//////////
I still recall the taste of your tears
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore
//////////
He lay awake, overly conscious of the darkened room, the not-so-deserted street outside… the young woman in his arms…
He pulled her closer to him. It was good to wake up in the middle of the night and not be alone…
//////////
Don’t take it away from me; I need you to hold on to [3x]
Don’t take it away from me; I need someone to hold on to
Don’t tear it away from me; I need you to hold on to
//////////
Even if he was lonely, he wasn’t alone…
//////////
You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now
//////////
~ His hand lazily skimmed up over the smaller young man’s torso and chest. He stretched and purred—just like how
the other man liked him too. "Touch me, Milliardo." Eager hands rushed forward, fingertips dancing with anticipation. "Ant! Slowly, my dear boy. Slowly. There is no need to rush. Look, like this…" ~
//////////
Just when everything was making sense
You took away all my self-confidence
Now all that I’ve been hearing must be true
I guess I’m not the only boy for you
This thing is slowly take me apart
//////////
"What’s wrong?"
Startled, the cinnamon haired man looked over at him. "Nothing’s wrong, my Milliardo. Why? What makes you think something is wrong?"
"You’re quiet," the younger man accused, turning and propping himself up on his side to look down at the other man. "What are you thinking about?"
"That interesting little gundam pilot, 05," Treize answered. "So young to be fighting… so full of passion…"
Zechs frowned, swallowing the sudden lump in his throat. He closed his eyes and prayed for sleep to come soon.
//////////
But that's what I get
How could you turn us into this?
After you just taught me how to kiss- you
I told you I'd never say goodbye
Now I'm slipping on the tears you made me cry
But that's what I get
//////////
The mask shattered around him, its cry echoing in his ears. ‘And so this is the end of Zechs Merquise….’
//////////
Why does it come as a surprise
To think that I was so naive
Maybe didn't mean so much
But it meant everything to me
//////////
He laughed, the first carefree sound he’d made in what could easily have been a decade. "This is great!" he told the other man, smiling infectiously. Treize only smiled back at him.
//////////
But that's what I get
You made me throw it all away,
My morals left to decay
How many you betray
You’ve taken everything
//////////
He screamed, throwing himself and the large white titanium suit into the swarm. The lightening Count would not die so easily… even for *him*.
//////////
Terrible Lie
//////////
"I love you…"
A moment’s pause.
"Ai shiteru, zutto."
//////////
My head is filled with disease
My skin is begging you please
I'm on my hands and knees
I want so much to believe
//////////
It was gone. It was really gone. And once again, by some cruel trick of fate… he was still alive.
Zechs emptied his stomach onto the ground before him.
//////////
I give you everything...
My sweet everything...
//////////
He cried out as Treize thrust forward, pounding him into the large poster bed.
So good… it was always so good…
He screamed, releasing his soul, once again giving all, everything he had… for him. Always for him. Anything for him.
//////////
I need someone to hold on to
I need someone to hold on to
I need someone, I need someone
I need someone to hold on to
//////////
He curled himself closer to that hot, sticky body. Treize laughed. "You’re such a cuddler, my Milliardo."
He only held on tighter.
Tighter.
Tighter—suddenly seized by a terrible fear.
Tighter… until there was nothing but air in his arms, and he was alone, in his bed. Alone.
And Treize…
Treize was dead.
//////////
You give me the anger
You give me the nerve
Carry out the sentence
//////////
"Zechs Merquise? Or should I say Milliardo Peacecraft? Allow me to introduce myself. I am called Quinze, and I work for an organization named White Fang…"
//////////
Well I get what I deserve
I'm just an effigy to be defaced
To be disgraced
Your need for me has been replaced
And if I can't have everything well then just give me a taste
//////////
"Fire the Beam Cannon!"
"But, sir--!"
"Fire, NOW!"
"No! Master Treize!"
"Seize Dorothy; she’s a traitor!" Just like him….
//////////
It comes down to this
I gave you my Purity
My Purity you stole
//////////
The water slapped against his bare skin as the other man’s body pressed into his. "Come for me, my Milliardo…"
"I… I think I love you, sir. I mean, I know I… do…"
"So sweet. So innocent. So full of passion…" Treize whispered, before taking him again… and again… and again…
//////////
I used to be so big and strong!
I used to know my right from wrong!
I used to never be afraid!
I used to be somebody!
//////////
He couldn’t lie there anymore. Careful, he extracted himself from Noin’s bed and went to the kitchenette to pour himself a stiff drink. And then a second, and a third, and then he didn’t bother to count anymore.
//////////
I used to have something inside!
Now just this hole that's open wide!
I used to want it all!
I used to be somebody…
I'll cross my heart I'll hope to die
But the needle's already in my eye
And all the world's weight is on my back
And I don't even know why
What I used to think was me
Is just a fading memory
//////////
He stared at the person in the mirror. He really didn’t like what he saw.
//////////
I looked him right in the eye and said "Goodbye"
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I’m down to just one thing
And I’m starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
//////////
"Treize…" He whispered brokenly, staring at the Preventers’s issue handgun in his hands.
//////////
So what does it matter now?
I was swimming in the haze now I crawl on the ground
And everything I never liked about you is kinda seeping into me
Try to laugh about it now but isn't it funny how everything works out
"I guess the joke's on me," she said
//////////
He looked up at the bathroom door. She stood there, sleep still clinging to her, blurry eyes staring back at him.
//////////
Kinda like a cloud I was up way up in the sky
And I was feeling some feelings you wouldn't believe
Sometimes I don't believe them myself
And I decided I was never coming down
//////////
He tried to explain, he really did try.
//////////
It comes down to this
Your kiss
Your fist
And your strain
It gets under my skin
Within
Take in the extent of my sin
//////////
He was aware of the stinging after-tingle of her fist on his cheek, registering even as she desperately pressed her lips against his.
Didn’t she understand? He couldn’t do this life-thing anymore… it was just too hard for him. He wasn’t strong enough…
//////////
Come on and tell me
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I’m down to just one thing
And I’m starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
//////////
"Treize…"
"He’s *dead*, Zechs! Let him go!" she cried, shaking his shoulders. "He’s *dead*! He’s never coming back!"
//////////
[Hey God,] why are you doing this to me?
Am I not living up to what I'm supposed to be?
Why am I seething with this animosity?
[Hey God,] I think you owe me a great big apology
I'm all alone in the world you must despise
[Hey God,] I believed your promises, your promises and lies!
Seems like salvation comes only in our dreams
I feel my hatred grow all the more extreme.
[Hey God,] can this world really be as sad as it seems?
//////////
"So sad…" Numbly, in a daze, he wiped at her moist cheeks.
"Please… Zechs…."
//////////
Did you think I wouldn't recognize this compromise?
Am I just too stupid to realize
Stale incense old sweat and lies lies lies
It comes down to this
Your kiss
Your fist
And your strain
It gets under my skin
Within
Take in the extent of my sin
//////////
"Don’t do this, don’t leave me. If you leave me what will I do, huh? What will I do?"
She was trembling again him, her small fist pounding against his chest and shoulder.
"Don’t leave me."
//////////
Wrap my eyes in bandages
Confessions I see through
I get everything I want
When I get part of you
//////////
"Stay with me; please… just drop the gun…"
//////////
If I was twice the man I could be
I'd still be half of what you need
Still you lead me and I follow
Anything you ask you know I'll do
//////////
There was a loud clatter as the pistol struck the tile floor. It was hard to tell who was holding onto who… or who more tightly.
//////////
Don’t take it away from me, I need you to hold on to [3x]
Don’t take it away from me, I need someone to hold on to
Don’t tear it away from me, I need you to hold on to
Don’t tear it away from me, I need someone to hold on to
Don’t tear it away from me, I need you to hold on to
Don’t tear it, don't tear it, don't tear it, don't tear it, don't-
//////////
"Don’t leave me alone."
"Don’t leave me alone."
//////////
[Hey God,] there's nothing left for me to hide
I lost my ignorance, security and pride
//////////
There was nothing left to him. Just an empty shell.
//////////
No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears;
I'm here, nothing can harm you,
My words will warm and calm you.
//////////
She held him for another long moment, soaking in the aftermath, relief that he was still there… and then she pulled away.
He didn’t want to let her go, but she tugged on him, and obediently, he stood up and allowed her to put him back to bed.
//////////
I'm drunk
And right now I'm so in love with you
And I don't want to think too much about what we should or shouldn't do
~
Let me be your freedom,
Let daylight dry your tears;
I'm here, with you, beside you,
To guard you and to guide you.
//////////
She kissed him. Her soft lips moving over his. He let her, gave up all control to her. Let go of all his thoughts and just /was/.
//////////
I swear
I just found everything I need
The sweat in your eyes the blood in your veins are listening to me
Well I want to drink it up and swim in it until I drown
My moral standing is lying down
Nothing quite like the feel of something new
~
Let me be your shelter,
Let me be your light;
You’re safe, no one will find you,
Your fears are far behind you.
//////////
She whispered sweet, cooing reassurances. He paid little attention to the words, just let the sound of her voice wash over him, fill in the gaping hole inside of him.
//////////
You let me violate you
You let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you
You let me complicate you
Help me
I broke apart my insides
Help me
I’ve got no soul to sell
Help me
The only thing that works for me
Help me get away from myself
//////////
She was over him, around him… completely cocooning him in her…
//////////
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;
Let me lead you from your solitude.
Say you need me with you, here beside you,
Anywhere you go, let me go too,
That’s all I ask of you
//////////
"I love you!" she cried against his chest, his shoulder, his throat. Over and over and over again…
//////////
You can have my isolation
You can have the hate that it brings
You can have my absence of faith
You can have my everything
Help me
//////////
Something inside of him snapped and he finally took what she offered, rolling her over onto her back, beneath him, and giving everything to her.
//////////
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;
Say the word and I will follow you.
~
Help me
Tear down my reason
Help me
It’s your sex I can smell
Help me
Help me become somebody else
My whole existence is flawed
//////////
"NOIN!"
//////////
Share each day with me,
Each night, each morning.
Say you love me!
You know I do.
Love me, that's all I ask of you.
//////////
She allowed him to lay on her, for the moment enjoying the weight of his body on hers. Tenderly, she brushed her fingers through the long, silky pale-golden hairs, away from his tear-stained face, and she smiled…
//////////
You are the reason
I stay alive
/////////
End Part 9
Andrea Readwolf
Please send comments to: andrea_readwolf@hotmail.com