July 17, 2000
Rating: Adult...ish.
Pairings: Established 3+4 but... can't everybody have a little fun...? Sure they can... (now if I can only figure out how...)
Warnings: *Cursing*. *Yaoi* themes. Sappy in some areas (blame it on the romantic). Angst in other areas. Incoherence and random POV switching throughout. Wet G-boys (gotta luv that!). Hmmm... and... and... is that a lemon fresh scent I smell? Hmm... strange... I can't imagine why...::coughs::
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters belong to Bandai, Sunrise and Sotsu Agency and are only being used for non-profit entertainment purposes.
Thank You's: This is one of the few chances I'll have to tell you about how wonderful some of you have been in regards to this story. First and foremost is Bonne. I am at a loss for words to describe how wonderful I think you are--but know I do anyhow! ::winks:: Following a short distance behind her are Seregill, Von, and Ravenfyre--whose stories are *almost* as wonderful as Bonne. ::smirks:: Yapping at their heels are Kitsune and Alexia--whose insistent harping has brought this and the following parts into reality. Thank you girls.
Notes: Well, we've seem to have quite the little situation on our hands don't we? For anyone just tuning in, or who doesn't quite remember just *what* situation we *have* on our hands, let me recap: The boys are on downtime after some really bad mission what I have no clue about (isn't that just reassuring? I really do wish they'd let me in on these things sometimes ::sighs::) Heero got called away on a mission. Here's the thing: it was *his* mission. (we still don't know *who's* mission it was, but my guess is Duo's--but I've been known to be wrong before--not often, though) Heero's been doing something to the other's gundam/computer/email-like thingy that intercepts incoming missions and reroutes them to him. Duo, Trowa, and Quatre just found this out. Wufei already knew. Why? Because *he* helped Heero do it! Iya! Iya! The suspense!
"Heero Yuy did not write the interceptor program," Wufei said calmly--his voice neither loud nor whispered. Three pairs of eyes turned to him--varying degrees of emotion in each. He met each gaze levelly. 'I've lied to you,' he thought--no emotion passing across is stoic face. 'I've lied to each of you by withholding the truth.' Lids shut away their faces and replaced them with another's: Heero Yuy. 'I've betrayed them by keeping my promise to you...but no more. Gomen nasi.'
"I did."
"Wha--what did you just say?"
"Nani?"
Stare.
Onyx eyes opened once more to take in the three other persons in the room. Duo Maxwell, the braided American pilot of Deathscythe--his chest constricted--was looking at him with wild, disbelieving, shimmering violet eyes. He stood by the fireplace...looking... lost. "What did you just say?" he whispered again, his voice was hoarse with an emotion Wufei was unwilling to identify.
"I said I wrote the interceptor program."
"But--but *why* Wufei?" a hurt voice asked, drawing his attention away from those fathomless violet eyes to clash with shimmering turquoise depths. The blond boy sat forward on the love seat; beside him, his lover sat, calm, cool, quiet. But Trowa's green eyes were swirling in a mixture of emotions that Wufei knew would not have been there a year ago. 'They've come so far in the short time we've known each other... Heero, we were wrong to try and protect them.'
A gentle hand touched the blonde's shoulder and the boy relaxed enough to lean back into Trowa's waiting embrace. But three pairs of eyes did not waver from their target.
Wufei smiled mockingly. "What?" he asked softly. "Did you believe I was good for nothing other than fighting?" He sucked on his tongue, stalling the flow of stinging comments he know could--would, spill forth. He moved the book on his lap to the side table and stood up from the corner lounge chair. Without saying another word he walked over to the large bay window and looked out, hands clasped behind him.
They said nothing. Even Duo held his tongue--surprised by Wufei's question... possible answers ran across his brain's eye. 'Yes! All you ever do is fight!' was the strongest answer. But for some reason, the words did not touch his lips. Quatre's mouth worked--but no sound came out. With a helpless look to Trowa he slumped back fully into the sofa. Trowa squeezed his small lover's hand, but his focus was on the dark boy standing before a darkened window.
Then tension in the room grew to a breaking point. Duo was that point.
"Dammit Wufei!" Duo shouted, throwing his arms up. "You know it! But that doesn't explain a damn thing! Why the hell did you do it, huh? Why'd you have to go and screw us over like that, huh?"
Wufei smiled--a small, soft smile--and turned three-quarters away from the dark window. "You called me 'Wufei'," he said softly, looking at Duo. Onyx depths met and held Duo's violet depths. They stared at one another for over a minute--words, feelings, emotions that couldn't *be* expressed verbally flew between the two boys.
"Why?" Duo whispered finally, his voice breathless and...and... why did it sound so weak?
Wufei turned fully from the window now. "Why not?" he returned, just as soft. "Heero believes his life is worthless. If he dies tomorrow not a soul will miss him."
"That's not--"
"I know," Wufei cut in, finally turning to the two other boys. He sent a small smile to the small blond to try and ease the sting his words were obviously causing his friend. Wufei closed his burning, dry eyes, and then looked back at Duo. His throat swelled. Duo looked...shocked. 'Hmphf. It would take such a thing to make the braided-baka speechless. Hmphf.' "I know that. *You* know that." He turned back to the two on the love seat. "But that is still how he sees himself, and until that opinion changes, that is how he will continue to see himself."
Silence engulfed as each boy churned that knowledge over in his head.
"And what was your reason?" It was quiet question, but it drew onyx eyes to emerald in an instant. Eyes met, souls clashed. Then Wufei smiled and pulled away.
"I *know* I am worthless," he said softly. His eyes met briefly with Trowa's again. "I have no family, no colony to protect."
"So you and Heero got together and decided to play gods?!"
Wufei turned back to the braided boy, Quatre's gasp at the hard-put words meeting with his back. "No. Not gods." He bowed his head, another smiling pulling at his lips. 'We are not worthy to play gods.'
"Then what the hell do you call it? Huh?" Duo's eyes were leaking. Wufei doubted the boy was even aware of it...
"We thought only to protect---"
"Protect us?" Duo sneered. "We're fucking gundam pilots too, Wufei! We don't need any goddamn protection! What? Did you think we were too *weak*?" Duo twisted the word in his mouth and spat it out, glaring at the Chinese boy.
"No," Wufei said softly, stepping closer to Duo, his heart clenching in his chest. "You are not weak. Anything but." A hand reached out of it's own accord, reaching for a stray strand of chestnut hair that had dared to bread free from its braid, but pulled back before that silkiness could be tainted by his touch. Onyx eyes searched the braided-boy's face before locking with violet eyes and staying. "You are perhaps stronger than either him or myself. It was that strength we hoped to protect."
Duo pulled back, stepping away, gasping for breath. His palms dug themselves into his eye sockets with frightening pressure...before grounding up and around, fisting clomps of hair and squeezing. Hard. He was shaking. His entire body was shaking. With anger. With hurt. With confusion. With betrayal. With... loneliness. God, it hurt so much...
"It is late," Trowa said suddenly without warning, standing quietly. "We should retire and continue this discussion in the morning."
"But Trowa--" the blond boy was protesting as his lover lead him up and out of the room.
"Good night," the green-eyed boy said in parting before pulling the door closed behind him and Quatre... leaving Wufei and Duo alone in the room.
Wufei stood still for a full minute, watching Duo carefully. He wanted to go to him and hold him... to do... *something*. *Anything* to make him feel better. But he didn't know what he could do. Finally he sighed deeply and closed his eyes.
"Trowa is right," he said, his eyes still closed. "It is late. We are all tired. We can continue this conversation in the morning when we are all more in control of ourselves. For tonight, it is over."
The hand on his arm caught his attention. Onyx eyes looked into a violet gaze. "This is far from over, Wufei Chang."
End of Part Nine: Truth Revealed
Andrea Readwolf
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