December 12, 2000
Sequel to 'Have You Ever...'
Standard Warnings and Disclaimers apply.
My Eternal Friend,
I don't pretend to understand what it is you are thinking of. I only know that you are doing what you feel you must in these times. Please understand that I am doing the same. I miss you. I miss the talks we used to share. You always used to challenge me, my actions, my ideas. You made me a better person. I had hoped I helped you as well. I realize this letter will never reach you, that you will never see it. I realize that it will join a thousand other letters that I have written over my life... letters never sent. Letters never to be read by those they were meant for. And still, I insist on writing them. Well, we all have our eccentricities, no, my friend? I must go now. The shuttle carrying precious cargo has just arrived and I must greet my Lady.
Sincerely,
Trieze Khushrenada
"We're in."
"What?" Jack whirled in her chair. Nita stood in the doorway, smirking. "Are you sure?"
"I was just in White Fang's databases--they've put up so many firewalls," she grinned. "The only explanation for it is that they found out someone was snooping around their stuff and they didn't like it."
"So why hasn't Heero contacted you yet?" Dev asked, leaning back in her own chair.
Nita frowned. "I don't know."
"He wont," Jack whispered, talking more to herself than to her sisters. She reached forward and palmed the communicator. "Blaire."
"That would be me," the strawberry blonde's voice called back.
"That ship you were tracking... still have a lock on it?"
"Yeah, it's disappeared a couple of times--think it might have a cloaking device of some kind--but I have a pretty good idea where she's at," the voice replied.
"Good. Feed those coordinates into Shadow Star's nav-guide. And, Blaire pack up, we're heading out before night."
"Got it!" Blaire called before disconnecting.
"Jack, what are you thinking?" Dev hissed.
"You can't just go barging in there--"
"Are you two coming, or are you gonna just sit here arguing about it?" Jack cut in, already heading for the door. Devenley and Ochenta stared at each other, smiled, and then whirled out the door after their ‘little' sister.
"What about Carina?" Kat hissed, securing her ‘toys' in her utility belt.
"She stays here with Doce," Jack replied, tightening the laces on her boots.
"Problem," a third voice spoke. "I'm not staying here."
The two teens looked up from their activities to stare at their older sister.
"You don't honestly thing we believe that you'd come with us on something like this?" Jack hissed, returning to her boots.
"You don't honestly think I'd sit here while you girls go and try and get yourselves killed, do you?" Doce snapped. "Uh-uh. No way, Jacqueline. I'm going with you. I refuse to wield a gun or try to hurt anyone, but I *will* be there if one of you gets hurt. Besides, in case you haven't noticed, there's a war going on. My talents are needed up in space. They could use an extra medic."
"Someone has to stay behind with Carina," Jack grounded out. "And that someone is you, Doc."
"I'm going."
"No you're not!"
"Why don't we just bring her along?" Kat added, staying well away from her sisters' hated glares.
"We can't take her into a war zone!" Jack snapped.
"She can stay with Doc, right?" Kat returned. "I'm sure the med-teams up there could us an extra pair of hands, and--"
"No. It's too dangerous."
"Anymore dangerous than leaving her alone here?" Kat hissed, her eyes watering. "Unless you trust Valdeon that much--"
Kat's hand snatched out and caught Jack's wrist, bare inches away from her cheek. Dark green and hazel sets of eyes burned into each other.
"No," Jack hissed, snatching her arm back. "I don't."
"Then bring her along, it's the only solution," Kat returned.
"She would be useful," Doce added, cutting into the tension that permeated the room.
Jack's body trembled with repressed anger and for a moment, both woman thought she would lash out at them again.
"Fine. She goes. But she *stays* with *you*!" She looked hard into Doc's face, impression her words upon the older woman; and then she was gone, storming out of the small room she shared with Katalynna, mumbling something about prepping their shuttle. In the room behind here, Doce and Kate looked at one another and sighed a breath of relief.
My Dearest Friend,
This may be the last letter I write to you. The last of many I have written to you over the course of the last months. Letters that I know you will never receive. Sometimes I wonder what you would do, if you ever realized my feelings towards you. If you ever found out that they ran deeper than just admiration of an opponent. You intrigue me--more than any other human being I have ever known. Even more so than my beautiful Milliard. And, as much as I have loved him, I have loved you more. Would that scare you to know? To know that I am in love with a boy, a child really, who I have barely met, barely know? But, I feel as if I do know you. I have loved all five of you pilots, for your skill, your bravery, your honor. But you most of all. I have spent nights, laying awake, thinking of you, thinking of what I would do if you ever came back to me. I would never force you, of course. I wouldn't have to, at least, I hoped not. I always hoped that you would think of me at times, as I often thought of you. Even now, when I should be preparing for war, my thoughts are on you, and I find I cannot concentrate on charts and battle plans without wondering if I will get the chance to see you, at least one last time. I do not expect to live through this battle. I know that I wont. My life will be given up in sacrifice for peace. That is the pact Milliard and I made so many years ago. In truth, I do not want to go on living--as cowardly as that may sound. I do not know how to live in peace, yet I am fighting to attain it. Let others maintain the peace, I will fight for it, I will die for it. Willingly. I have one last request of you, son of dragon. Let my death be at your hands, for it is fitting for the lover to be struck down by the lovéd.
With Love,
Trieze Khushrenada
End of Part 14: The Devil's Mind
Andrea Readwolf
Please send comments to: andrea_readwolf@hotmail.com