December 6, 2000
Sequel to 'Have You Ever...'
He was tired. Bone-dead tired. And all he wanted to do right now was crawl into bed and die.
"There you are!" Hilde called cheerfully as he walked through the kitchen door. "I was beginning to--"
Her words and smile trailed off as she caught sight of the boy in the light. "Duo, you look like shit."
His smile slid onto his face, even though he felt anything but happy and jovial. "Gee, do ya think so, Hilde? I thought I was looking pretty darn spiffy."
"Duo, don't joke around with me," she snapped. And then the fight seemed to drain out of her. "Duo, listen," she began, her indigo eyes pleading with his. "I love you. I'd do anything for--"
"Don't say that."
The dark-purple haired girl frowned at her friend. Duo's back had suddenly gone straight and his face pale beneath the smudges of grime and muck, and Hilde was sincerely worried. She moved to go to his side but he stepped away from her.
"Don't you *dare* say that, you hear me?" Duo said, unaware of the tremble in his voice. "Don't say you love me. Everyone who loves me dies, do you get that? Everyone dies. Don't do that, Hilde, don´t curse yerself like that."
He looked directly at her and she searched his eyes, hoping to find something there that would help her understand. "Duo..." she began softly, her head shaking from side to side. "Love isn't something you can do or not do. If I'm meant to die, then I'll die. I'm going to die eventually anyway, right? It won't be your fault." She shot him a small smile. "Not unless you pull the trigger, of course."
"Dammit, Hilde!" the braided pilot exploded, flinging the pots and pans drying on the counter flying onto the floor. "Dammit! Don't you understand?"
"NO! That's the problem!" she shouted back at him, getting in his face. "I don't understand and I keep trying to and you keep pushing me away! Stop pushing me away, Duo!" Her hands reached up and cupped his quivering face, flushed with anger, with rage, with emotions whose origins she didn't understand... but wanted to. "Don't push me away," she repeated softly.
His hands came up around hers, vise-like gripes around her wrists, bruising, punishing with the strength they disguised. 'Hell! He wasn't a Gundam pilot for nothing,' she thought, trying not to wince.
"Duo..." Her voice was soft, comforting, warm, inviting... She bent her face, tucking her head into his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his neck, holding him close. His hands on her wrist, loosened, allowing the limbs to slide up around his neck until his hands rested on her shoulders, and then he slide them down, until they rested at her back, and he pulled her close.
"Hilde..." he sighed, hiding his face in her shoulder, pulling her tight and holding on as if she were his only lifeline. "Hilde..."
She thought she was going to die, the intensity with which he held her, nearly breaking her ribs. 'Like a puppy that doesn't know its own strength,' she thought whimsically, holding back just as tightly.
"Duo..."
"I just... I just don't... don't want to loose anymore important people in my life," he whispered against her shoulder.
"Duo..."
They lapsed into silence for several minutes, just holding onto each other in the kitchen.
"Duo..." Hilde said finally, pulling back from him, cupping his face again and forcing him to look at her. "Duo..." She shook her head, studying him. "You can't make someone stop loving you anymore than you can make someone love you. If loving you means my death, than I'd gladly accept death. You're worth it." She grinned up at him, before leaning up and gently pressing her lips to his.
'I'm not going to panic. I'm not going to panic. I'm not going to panic.' Duo gulped, audibly, pressing back into the counter behind him as Hilde pressed closer before him. 'I'm not going to panic. I'm not going to panic.'
How was it he could kiss a guy with only little butterflies, but when he has a girl kissin' him, he's all ready to freak out? It's a GIRL! That's how! Girls are... girls! They're different from guys!
"You could kiss me back you know?" Hilde said softly, pulling back just barely to look up at him. She laughed. "I'm not going to bite you, Duo. It's just a kiss."
"Yeah, I know tha--"
He didn't get a chance to finish; she was on him again, her mouth moving over his and her tongue playing against his. His immediate response was to balk, pulling back, but she followed him, one hand weeding into his hair from under his braid, the other resting against his chest, as if she was measuring his heartbeat.
"Listen, Hilde," he said, pulling his lips away from hers. "I'm--"
"In love with someone else," she said, looking up at him. "I know."
"How?" He regretted the word the minute it left his lips.
She shrugged. "If you weren't, you would had to have been dead to miss the signals I've been throwing out at you this past week." She smiled. "It's okay, Duo. I'm not fishing for a relationship." She gave him a pouty smile. "The truth is, I'm attracted to you, and it's been a while since I've been attracted to anyone, and, well, I'd really like to fuck you." She shrugged again. "And sex is a great stress reliever." Her hands slipped to his neck and shoulders, squeezing. "And you can't tell me you haven't been stressed..."
She leaned forward again, avoiding his lips and this time ghosting his cheek, till her lips brushed against his ear. "No strings, Duo." She pulled back, searching his eyes, waiting for his answer.
End of Part 7: Devil's Companion
Andrea Readwolf
Please send comments to: andrea_readwolf@hotmail.com