07-Dec-2001
Heero's last name is Yuy. The two names go together: Heero and Yuy, Yuy and Heero. When Duo turns from tinkering with vein wires in his Gundam and says, "Hey, Yuy; you wanna pass me a wrench?", he means 'Heero' and all the ideas images feelings that surround it, so it's funny that those words don't even belong to him.
He's named after a dead man, and even though people always add in the next breath that the original Heero died for peace and justice, sometimes he closes his eyes and feels the moss growing down his spine, tufting under his arms.
He doesn't like people to touch him. Everywhere he feels moss, he has a little dime-sized numb spot. He's found two on his legs, one on the back of his knee and the other high on the inside of his thigh. It feels like he's rotting one inch at a time.
Duo's last name is Maxwell, and no one has ever disputed it. Heero thinks sometimes that Duo would kill anyone who dared to. Heero doesn't blame him; there's something in a name, something generalizing and belittling and so, so soft. Duo isn't only Duo: Heero closes his eyes late at night and thinks of dark blue eyes and long lashes, tapered fingers, a casual smile, and 'Duo' means all of those things, all at once.
Heero's never been kissed, not really, just once on the cheek by Doctor J when the old man thought he was asleep, and that was a touch of paternal tenderness. It's not that he even wants to kiss someone. The thought of another tongue in his mouth is vaguely threatening, almost grotesque.
But somehow, when it's late at night and he has a solo mission the next day, maybe not even a dangerous one, Heero finds himself hot and achy and unable to sleep.
Heero never sleeps with the blinds pulled down--unnatural darkness in the morning disturbs his sleep cycle--so when he can't will his mind to rest, he stares out the window and counts all the owls that fly by softly, the sound of their wings like rice paper flapping, and counts every time that thin clouds pass over the face of the moon, until suddenly he's counting the days since the last time he saw Duo. Heero wakes with a number on his lips and can't remember why.
End
Bianca
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