May 7, 2001
hunger
part five
this is an au; the topic upsets me a great deal.
by bianca
I only stopped there to return his present. I mean, that's all I was there for. It was beautiful enough, a birthday gift any girl would have loved. A glass dancer, suspended in a pirouette, forever spinning and spinning on her mirror base. She was pathetically innocent. There was nothing to her. I could see through her.
After all, it was made of glass.
So I knocked on his door, and when no one answered, I pushed it open. I wanted to give it back personally, rouse him from his bed if he were sleeping, pry his eyes from his books if he were studying. I wanted to see the look on his face when I rejected him the way he had me.
He was sitting on his bed, next to his roommate, Duo, their legs tangling in the sheets. The taller boy had wrapped his arms around him, sheltering him in the only way he could.
I wondered if Duo was protecting him from me.
Then Heero just seemed to crumble, and he rested his head against Duo's chest, staring at the wrinkled design of the sheets. His face was so tired.
I must have made a noise, or done something to give myself away, because Duo looked up, and I saw in his eyes that he wanted him, and quite possibly, Heero wanted him too.
My throat closed and I set the dancer down on the nearest dresser, and ah, it didn't matter where she was, she would dance the fucking dance no matter where she was, she would dance no matter what. I hurried from the room, drawing my long skirts up as I sprinted upstairs.
I had come downstairs with a mission, to hurt Heero, to make him feel as miserable, as ten times as miserable. I saw the dancer in the hall trash the next day, her muscular calf and boxy toe shoe sticking out from under a pile of Chinese food cartons.
I can't tell you the pain it caused me, and over such a stupid thing as that.
End Part Six
Bianca
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