May 1, 2001
hunger
part four
this is au; the topic upsets me a great deal.
by bianca
It was just lunch. For her, I guess it was a big thing. I watched as she quickly downed a glass of club soda, then asked for more. It was watching an alien, having taken over a human's body, that begins to dance with a lampshade on its head.
"Noin," she said, picking at her salad. "How are things with you and Zechs?" I smiled.
"Fine, of course." She smiled a bit, staring out the window into the streets where a tall, thin blonde stalked by on stiletto heels. "And you and Heero?"
Relena shrugged. "At the party last night, we were dancing and he left me on the floor by myself. I don't think it's meant to be." I was glad she had finally figured it out, but I couldn't tell her so. There were many things I could not tell her.
"And you, Relena? How are you?"
Her smile faded, her picking motion slowing.
"I've been better," she admitted. "I need to buy more makeup."
"I'll do it for you," I said.
"And I...I need cottonballs," she said. "Orange juice, too. I'm feeling kind of sick from all the food from the party. So much seafood..." She shook her head. "My mother went to so much trouble, just for my birthday. It's ridiculous." Even as I stored the list of items away in my head, part of me felt guilty for grocery shopping for her, knowing what she was going to do.
But there wasn't anything else I could do.
I stared into her narrow face, saw the concaves where there should have been flesh, and I wanted to stop it. At that moment, if a school administrator had walked through the door, I would have told everything. All of Relena's tricks, her bathroom trips, the pressures, her dreams. Part of me hoped for a moment of weakness. Another part of me knew that she needed a supporter, more than anything.
I reached out across the table, cupping her hand beneath mine. "It's not, Relena. You're worth it."
She nodded, swallowing another mouthful of soda.
They were on the couch, the black leather one that Zechs's parents had expressly forbidden him from doing anything to it but looking at it, watching some Spanish soap opera.
She wasn't sure why she said it, but it just came out of her mouth like a pimple that's finally burst after waiting too long for someone else to come along and pop it. "I could understand why someone would have an eating disorder," said Noin, staring into the glowing light of the television.
She felt her boyfriend stir beneath her, sitting up. "What are you talking about?"
"I mean, there's just so much that goes on with us that you don't know," she said. "And it's such a good way to lose weight, if you know what you're doing. I mean, you can throw up without having an eating disorder. Eating disorders aren't fatal."
Zechs merely nodded.
End Part Four
Bianca
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