October 23, 2001
pairing: 2x1
"I don't see what the problem is," said Relena, and that made everything ten times worse while reducing it to having a minimal importance. Heero took a deep breath, resisting the urge to sit on his hands, to clench the red fabric of his dress in his hands. "You and Duo are friends, Heero. He'll understand. Things like this happen."
"Things like this?" said Heero, aware that he was screeching a bit. He was horrified at the ease with which his voice rose an octave from sweet to shrill, even if it made him sympathize with Relena. "Things like spontaneous nocturnal sex changes don't just _happen._ It's not just not possible."
"It happened," said Dorothy. "I've seen the evidence." Relena swatted the back of her head playfully as she nipped at her ear. Heero saw a shiver run through Dorothy, and choked back a growl at the girls' levity.
"When did you see Heero's breasts?" demanded Relena. Her gaze turned speculative, traveling up Heero's thighs. "Or is that not the kind of evidence you're talking about?"
"Stop it," said Heero, folding his hands in his lap. "We've got a problem here. Duo is coming back."
"It's his house," said Relena.
"He's got a right to it," said Dorothy.
"That's not the point," said Heero.
"What is the point?" said Relena. "Duo is your _friend_, you poor thing. He'd never make fun of you or try to embarrass you." They all paused to consider the implications of that statement, and Relena hastily continued. "Not maliciously, anyway. You're close. Very close."
"Maybe," said Dorothy, breathless at the thought, "maybe Heero's afraid that Duo will want to get a little closer." She and Relena looked him up and down, as if assessing the chance that Duo would find him attractive. He adjusted the straps of his dress, making sure that the neckline was well above his cleavage--
Cleavage! thought Heero. I've got _cleavage._
"That's not it at all," he said, frowning, but he couldn't stop the blush that rose to his face and burned in his ears.
Heero woke the next morning tangled in his sheets. He raised a trembling hand and pressed it against his stomach, feeling the hard muscle there, the defined abdomen that had stayed with him when all else fled.
Even though they had agreed on a plan of action that included Heero telling Duo face to face, thinking about something was entirely different from actually standing in front of a man who'd been your best friend since you'd discovered you were more than a soldier and admitting that you'd grown boobs while he'd been away.
Which was why as soon as he'd heard the door open and Duo's dinstinctive, rolling footsteps downstairs, Heero had run for his bedroom, leaving Relena and Dorothy to break the news.
"So," said Relena, moving in closer next to Duo. She and Dorothy had sandwiched him on the couch so he could barely breathe. "How was your trip?"
"Okay," said Duo, scanning the apartment. "Where's Heero?"
"That's so fabulous," said Dorothy, as if Duo hadn't even inquired about Heero. "You know how these business trips can be. So hectic and eventful, but they produce the most interesting results."
"Sure," said Duo.
"Yeah," said Relena. "Interesting results, and epiphanies, too. You know. _Life-changing_ realizations." Dorothy poked Duo in the chest, letting her acrylic nail drag down the center of his chest, popping the buttons from his Oxford shirt.
"I'll bet you're not the same guy," said Dorothy, coughing, "that you were when you left. I'd bet that even Heero could see it."
"What are you talking about?" said Duo, moving to stand. "I just want to see Heero--"
"She...er...he's busy," said Relena, hauling him back down. "You know. Guy stuff."
"Heero doesn't do guy stuff," said Duo, more convinced than ever that something was very very wrong.
"I totally agree," said Dorothy, trying a different tack. "Heero's changed a lot since the war."
"You didn't really know him during the war," said Relena, raising an eyebrow at her girlfriend.
"I knew him vicariously through you," said Dorothy. "Anyway; he's not so macho as he was before. In fact, he's very much changed. He's completely different from what he was before; I don't know," she said, stalling for time, "it was just that while you were away, he realized a few things about himself when circumstances intervened, and he's worried about what you'll think."
"Oh," said Duo, his mien softening. "Oh."
"So you," said Relena, "are going to go upstairs and tell Heero that you're his friend, no matter what, and that you'll always love him."
"Love him?"
"He needs to hear it," said Dorothy, standing. She hauled Duo off the couch and pointed to the stairs.
Rubbing his arm, Duo cast one last dubious look at them before climbing the stairs.
"Heero's going to hate us," said Relena.
"I hate you," said Heero, glaring at Relena and Dorothy. To the bathroom door, he called, "Duo! Come out and talk like a man." To the giggling girls, he added, "I still can't believe you didn't tell him," exhaling loudly through his nose. "I mean--he--he--"
"Yes?" said Relena, leaning forward. Hentai images were clearly running through her mind, so obviously that Dorothy pinched her ass to remind her which gender she was really attracted to.
"What did he do?" said Dorothy. "He came running downstairs and then you came running downstairs, and you were both as red as tomatoes, which means something happened. Something shameful and embarrassing." Heero groaned. "Something very obscene," said Dorothy. "_Shamefully_ obscene--"
"That's enough!" said Heero.
"Just tell us," said Relena. "Did you kiss him, Duo?" she yelled, banging on the door for effect. Duo remained silent inside. "Did he kiss you, Heero?" Heero turned his face away and refused to answer. "I'll bet they kissed," she said to Dorothy, biting her lip to keep from laughing.
"Shut up," said Heero, blushing. "Look--he just... He thought I was joking," he said, "and he...you know." Heero made squeezing motions over his breasts with his hands and sighed in frustration when the girls squealed. "Grabbed me."
"Ouch," said Relena. "Fondled the goods."
"Did he try to pull them off?" said Dorothy, holding in a laugh.
"I hate you both," said Heero, preparing himself for a night by the bathroom door.
Duo came out the next morning and brushed by Heero as if he didn't exist, as if Heero weren't his best friend in a different body, his best friend that had stayed up all night trying to coax Duo out with promises of everything from chocolate to back rubs. "Duo," said Heero, standing uneasily on his heels and following Duo into the kitchen.
"Look--Heero--I just..." He groaned. "Could you--you know?"
"No," said Heero, his nerves snapping viciously like rubberbands, "I don't know, Duo. Are you mad at me?"
"No," said Duo, but he still wouldn't look at Heero, and that was the worst kind of answer of all.
Duo started avoiding him, leaving for work before Heero was even awake and coming back to their apartment late, sometimes smelling of smoke and liquor and someone's cheap perfume. If Heero had been honest with himself, he would have admitted that it was the perfume that really bothered him, the fact that Duo was seemingly content to keep co-existing silently when there were clues to the contrary all over his body, clues that Heero hadn't put there.
When Heero walked into their living room to watch the news just as Duo was leaving, he felt his trodden patience shatter. It had been three days since Duo found out, and the tension was threatening to break them both. "Duo," he said, and his voice sounded a little funny even to himself.
Duo stopped and turned slowly, his eyes dispassionate and cool, mouth set in a thin line. Heero's stomach twisted at the blatant sign of anger, but he pressed on. "Do you not want to share an apartment anymore?" he asked, crossing his arms.
"I don't know," said Duo. Heero's heart ran into an iceberg and sank slowly. "It doesn't matter to me." He shrugged. "Why? Do you want to move out?" He sighed loudly, looking at the clock. "I've got work--"
"Look," said Heero. "I. This isn't easy for me either," he said, biting his lip and tasting the chocolate-flavored lipgloss Relena had bought him as a gag gift, only he'd taken to it and then the present wasn't funny, just kind of sweet in an achey way.
"Well it sure doesn't seem like that to me," said Duo, leaning casually against the counter. His eyes, eyes that had passed judgment on thousands of men, sending them to their deaths, raked over his body. Heero was wearing a tanktop with spaghetti straps and a pair of loose pajama bottoms, and he hated the way that Duo's stare made him feel ashamed.
"What are you talking about?" he said.
"Look at you," said Duo, looking down his nose at Heero in the way that meant Duo felt threatened and was trying to save face. Men, thought Heero, rolling his eyes before he could stop himself. "I'm glad you think this is so funny," said Duo, turning to stare out the kitchen window.
"I'm just trying to deal with--"
"Heero," said Duo, glaring, actually glaring at Heero. "God, you're. I." He swallowed, exhaling loudly in exasperation. "I go away for a fucking business trip," said Duo, "and I come back, and my best friend is just..." Heero waited. "Look at you," he said again. "You were wearing a dress, Heero. You don't just go from being a guy one day to wearing a dress the next and looking--" He stopped, shoving his hands angrily into his pockets.
"Looking what?" said Heero. "I'm a _girl_ now. And maybe it was a little weird at first--"
"At first?" said Duo. "Heero, I'd say this is still the 'at first' period. You just... You got used to it so quickly." Seemingly in spite of himself, Duo reached out and traced the curve of Heero's cheekbone with his thumb. Slowly, as if his hand were a clam offering its pearl, his other fingers unclenched and enveloped the side of Heero's face, slipping just into the edges of his hair. "Now you're a girl and you're hanging out with Relena and Dorothy all the time." Duo suddenly jerked his hand back guiltily and Heero found that he missed the simple touch.
"It's not that I like being a girl better," said Heero. "It's just. During the war." Duo's eyes had calmed, the seas of torment within stilled momentarily, and it made the pain that he hadn't even known he felt disappear. "A body's just a means to an end, and it's not like anyone ever taught me how to be a boy," he added, trying to make Duo see when Heero didn't even understand himself.
"Oh," said Duo.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you myself," said Heero.
"Oh," said Duo, running his fingers through his bangs absently, "it's okay. I mean, you must have been under a lot of stress and stuff." He laughed as Heero raised an eyebrow as if to say "is that all?!". "They did a good job with the makeup," he said, smiling down at Heero. Heero had never noticed it before, but Duo was a lot taller than him, and it made him feel small in a good way, small in the "pick me up and hold me" way. "The mascara makes your eyes look so blue," said Duo, and that made Heero a little uneasy for more than one reason.
First of all, as Relena had pointed out one day while shaking a mascara wand at Heero for emphasis, mascara didn't really make eyes stand out; that was eyeshadow's job, and sometimes eyeliner's as well. Good eyeshadow could make or break an outfit. Heero had learned his lessons quickly.
And second, Heero wasn't wearing any makeup.
But he didn't say anything, and when they settled awkwardly on the couch and watched the eleven o'clock news, their feet bumped and Duo smiled at him and Heero's heart skipped a wild, trembling beat.
Heero came back from a day of shopping with the girls in a pair of new Italian leather boots Relena insisted he buy, the stiletto points of the heels scraping every now and then against the wood floors of their home. Dorothy and Relena were amazed by how easily Heero glided through the streets in them, balancing perfectly on the balls of his feet.
"And your feet don't hurt?" Relena had asked skeptically, hefting her shopping bags into the back of Dorothy's car.
"No," said Heero, rolling his eyes. He had a high threshold for pain anyway.
However, as he tossed the day's wares into an overstuffed chair and flopped onto the couch, he was beginning to regret ever having given into the urge to buy them. "Why do women subject themselves to this torture?" he groaned, reaching down to unzip them just as Duo walked in, still in a business suit. "How did the meeting go?" he asked, standing his boots up neatly on the floor. "Did you get the zoning committee's permission?"
"Of course," said Duo, loosening his tie with a grin, his smile fading as he took in Heero's halter top. "Tell me you didn't go out wearing that," he said, only half-joking. To distract himself from the disapproving glare, Heero made a great show of straightening his jean skirt.
"So what if I did?" said Heero.
"You're nearly naked," said Duo. "I've seen Britney Spears wear more clothing than that." Heero opened his mouth to say something, _anything_ that would make Duo hurt as much as he was hurting him with those off-handed comments and derisive smiles, but he bit his lip instead and stared off into the kitchen. "Jesus," said Duo, kicking his shoes off as if suggesting that Heero dressed like a slut was a casual thing. "Would you stop sulking like a girl?"
"Fuck you," said Heero, hating that his eyes were tearing up and that he didn't seem to have control over this body the way he had before. "Fuck you," he said again, hating the melodrama and loving the way that Duo's expression immediately became repentant. Heero kind of liked feeling angry and the way it made his veins pulse with excitement, though he didn't enjoy crying, so he stomped up to his room before Duo could apologize.
Duo followed a moment later, sticking his head inside with a sheepish look on his face. "You left your shoes downstairs," said Duo, setting them just inside the doorway.
"Thanks," said Heero, who was lying on his bed with his back to Duo.
But Duo didn't leave, and they both remained still for a few moments, almost uncomfortably. Heero was about to ask Duo if he wanted to talk or something when Duo spoke, his voice a low thrum that resonated through Heero's body.
"Your back," he said. "If I didn't know better, you might still be you."
Heero sat up slowly, very aware of the way his breasts at that angle moved with each breath. "I'm still me," said Heero. "I haven't changed, you know. I just look a little different."
Duo chuckled. "That's an understatement," he said. "You look..." He coughed, shifting uneasily in the doorway. Seized by a boldness Heero hadn't known he possessed, he patted the bed next to him. Duo looked behind him, a little hesitant, then sat on the opposite end of the bed.
"How am I different?" said Heero, enjoying the sudden hitch in Duo's breathing. Men exhaled so loudly, he thought, blinking, wondering if he'd sounded the same way to Relena.
"You're just..." Heero cursed the dim lighting, curious to see if Duo were blushing. "Prettier," said Duo. "You really look like a chick--I mean," he said, "like a girl. A woman." It was Heero's turn to blush, then. Somehow, being a girl was a lot different from being a woman. Girls were cute and pretty and got to wear short skirts and get away with anything. A woman; that had more baggage than Heero really wanted to deal with, ever.
"I don't look at all the same?"
"Your eyes," said Duo, who jerked a bit, as if realizing he'd answered too quickly. "They're still the same. You know. Just kind of. Relena pointed it out to me," he said, then looked away, clearly hoping Heero wouldn't ask questions about when exactly Relena and Duo had engaged in a private conversation.
"Thanks," said Heero quietly, staring at the light shapes of his legs in the dark.
"You're welcome," said Duo, and when Heero looked up, their faces were scant breaths from touching. Heero was suddenly aware of the apartment, empty but for them, the darkness that swelled around them, Duo's hand almost brushing his own; he was aware of it in a way he had never been before. It was surrounding him, crushing his inhibitions, daring him to lean forward just a little.
I want him to kiss me, thought Heero, and that thought was enough to make him jump to his feet, babbling about needing to start dinner even though Duo usually cooked, and needing to do laundry even though laundry day was Sunday.
"Oh, okay," said Duo, and Heero thought he might have sounded a little disappointed.
"Puppy love," said Relena, slurping her strawberry peach smoothie with relish. She grinned as Heero buried his face in his arms on the table, letting out a groan of frustration. "You're so cute, Heero. You'd be good together."
"But I'm a guy!" said Heero, drawing the attention of the other customers of the Tiki Hut Smoothie Shop. "He doesn't like guys, and he doesn't like me."
"So he wants sex," said Dorothy, who seemed to always be in favor of sex, however anonymous or shocking. "And you can give it to him. It's not hard. Just kiss him once and then he'll do the rest. Lay back and enjoy the ri--"
"Hush," said Relena, swatting Dorothy's bare arm. Her metal bracelets jangled beneath Relena's hand. "Poor thing," said Relena. "You can't tell me that you've never felt anything for him before, though."
"Who says that I feel anything?" said Heero, taking refuge in the soft sounds of his smoothie as he stirred it with his straw. "Duo is a guy, for one. I'm a guy. If we...that would mean I were gay, and he were gay, and we're not, because we're guys." Heero abruptly cut off his own rambling and slumped back into his seat.
"Will you stop saying that?" said Relena, rolling her eyes. "You're a _girl_, Heero. You've got breasts and a vagina and you happen to be heterosexual. No big deal, sweetie. Girls liking guys is considered pretty average, or it was the last time I checked."
"But I'm still the same person I was," said Heero.
"Right," said Dorothy. "A heterosexual person. Attraction is purely chemical. You're talking about becoming a girl, and that's a whole new set of fun hormones. It's no big deal that you're attracted to Duo."
"Yeah," said Relena, sucking seductively on her straw. "He's pretty hot for a guy. Straight teeth. Built, but not too bulky. Big feet."
"What's that supposed to mean?" said Heero.
"Big feet?" Dorothy lifted an eyebrow. "Big hands, big feet, big penis." Heero groaned in disgust and tried to cover his ears. "What? You used to have one, Heero, so I don't know why it grosses you out. PENIS!" she shouted, throwing back her head.
"Jesus," said Heero.
"PENIS!" said Relena, laughing as the store manager shot her a dirty look.
"It doesn't gross me out," said Heero. "Penis. There. Are you happy?"
"So what grosses you out?" said Relena.
"Duo's penis," said Dorothy, grinning as Heero flushed a deep red. "There you go. If you're going to do it with him, you're going to need to do more than _think_ about Duo's penis." She pretended that she was holding a penis and sucking it, making Relena laugh and Heero redder.
"I'm not going to have sex with him, okay?" he said, a little louder than he'd intended.
"Sure," said Relena with a knowing wink, and the worst part was that Heero suspected she was right.
"Hey," said Heero, sitting down next to Duo on the couch. "Anything good on?" Duo didn't look at him as he shook his head, too involved in channel surfing to manage a verbal reply. "Look, about what happened--"
"Damn!" said Duo, eyes going wide as Britney Spears began writhing in her new video, rubbing against a group of bodies. "Look at her tits, man!" And suddenly Heero became aware of his own bra- less state, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Never mind," said Heero, and went up stairs.
"He was obviously trying to distract you," said Relena, shaking her head. They were having a girls' night in at Dorothy's place, all in various stages of exfoliating, moisturizing and nail- polishing. "Duo wouldn't normally say things like that."
"I guess not," said Heero, squeaking as Dorothy deliberately ran the brush of the nail polish over the exposed arch of his foot. "That tickles," he said, glaring.
"I'll tell you what," said Dorothy, swiping at Heero's foot again with the brush, "some night we'll get all dolled up and go clubbing. Screw Duo if he's going to be an asshole. He doesn't deserve to get any from you."
"You talk about sex like it's a casual thing," and from the way the girls giggled, Heero was beginning to think that maybe it was. "I mean..." He blushed, but tried to force the words out. That was the thing about 'girltalk'; it lent itself easily to embarrassing subjects, and embarrassing Heero was Dorothy's new past- time. "I've never. You know."
"You've never had sex," said Relena, examining her own manicure. "Pass me the base coat, sweetie?" Heero tossed her the bottle, speechless. "It's so obvious," said Relena. "You've got 'virgin' written all over you. Are you intact?"
"What?"
"Hymen," said Relena. "You know. That thing that keeps a guy from putting his penis inside you. It breaks sometimes if you're really physically active, like if you mountain-bike a lot or whatever."
"It's not like I've ever looked," said Heero hotly.
"You don't masturbate?" said Relena, grimacing as the wax- heater dinged. "Dorothy, you're up first." The other blonde girl stretched out one leg, wiggling her toes invitingly. "Cute," said Relena, kissing the sole of her foot. "You should," said Relena, looking at Heero again as she applied the wax to Dorothy's leg. "You know. Get used to the terrain."
"YeAAAAAH!" said Dorothy as Relena ripped the paper off her leg.
Relena and Dorothy were doing nasty things in their bedroom and they'd shooed Heero into the bathroom with a book and a little handheld mirror and instructions to get himself off at all costs.
Heero opened the book to a marked page and gasped as he found detailed drawings of ways a tongue could stroke for maximum pleasure, replete with body part labels and explanations. He slammed the book shut and kicked it behind the toilet.
"Definitely not," he said, even as dirty parts of Heero's mind supplied images of Duo's mouth doing that to him, his hands caressing Heero's breasts...
"Stop it," he said, stepping out of his pajama bottoms.
'Is your hymen intact?' Relena whispered. Biting his lip, he opened the lips of his sex and tried to slip his finger inside, slowly so he wouldn't accidentally tear himself.
Because you want Duo to do that, that part of his mind chanted.
"You're losing your mind." Heero buried his face in his hands and groaned loudly. "You do _not_ want Duo to do that. You don't want_anyone_ to do that. You'll become a nun first; it doesn't matter that you're not Catholic. Hell, it doesn't matter that you're not Christian. They're desperate for people. You do _not_ want Duo."
You do, said that insidious, cliché voice. You poor little virgin thing.
Heero glared into the mirror, as the voice was starting to sound suspiciously like Relena. "Duo is just my friend--" he began, but couldn't help but think of that night when they had been sitting on his bed and they'd almost kissed. "He's still only my friend, no matter what I think."
Don't deny it, said his inner voice. You want his hot body and you know it. Maybe you were meant to be together. Maybe this is just Fate's way of making up for fucking up your gender inside your mother's womb. You never know; it might turn out to be a blessing instead of...whatever it is now. Besides, you really need to get laid. So just sort of accept the fact that you're attracted to Duo.
"But--"
No buts, said the voice, giggling. Admit it.
"All right, I admit it, all right," groaned Heero, and slipped back into his pants.
When Dorothy asked if he'd gotten off, Heero mumbled a 'no' and refused to say more.
With the realization that Heero did actually want Duo came a whole slew of awkward moments. It wasn't so much that Heero had never noticed Duo, and how beautiful Duo's sleek, powerful body was, but that Heero had always dismissed his admiration as that of a human admiring the beauty of a wild animal.
It was harder to do that when his body ached every time Duo neared, Duo with his masculine scent of sweat and salt, Duo with his bad habit of walking around only in his boxers and a t-shirt.
"Hey," said Duo, brushing past her as they worked in the kitchen. They were making chicken parmagiana and they kept bumping and rubbing as they retrieved things from the cabinet and refrigerator.
Heero nearly dropped the pan, gasping as her back arched a bit and moisture seeped into her panties when Duo accidentally touched her hardened nipple.
"You okay?" said Duo, staring right at her throat, wringing his hands.
"Fine," said Heero, blushing.
And then there was the time that she'd heard Duo jacking off in the shower, his low moans resonating throughout the tiled cubicle and into her room as she tried to sleep. She buried her head under the pillow, but the silence was too much, the silence was denial and made her think of how quiet she would probably be during sex. Heero was pretty sure that she could never make those noises in front of another person without feeling self-conscious.
The next morning at breakfast, Duo suckled syrup from his fingers and it was all Heero could do not to imagine him licking his fingers clean of his own cum.
Duo started hanging out with her a little more than before, taking her to coffee shops and making her listen to experimental performance poetry. "It'll be huge," said Duo, "just as soon as people are done condemning it for what it's not." They were talking shyly over cups of chai tea, even sending little flirtatious smiles at each other.
Heero stared, then, at Duo's large hand tapping absently against the black table. He was long and slender in general, still growing, still kind of gangly. In that respect, his long braid seemed to have become another limb, its shape perfectly aligned to his arms and legs. Heero felt suddenly overpowered in the presence of a _man_ as she then understood it. There was inherent fear, but also a new awareness that brought a blush to her cheeks as her gaze strayed to Duo's lap.
I had one of those! she thought fiercely. I _had_ one and I never knew what it meant.
Besides Heero's growing desire for Duo, she was starting to discover other things about herself, like her newly uncovered desire for attention, attention that was in ready supply at the clubs they patronized. Dorothy had almost threatened not to take Heero clubbing anymore, since she almost always got herself into trouble.
"Oh you," she said, sighing after they'd had to stab a man with Dorothy's stiletto heel when he tried to feel Heero up. "You shouldn't do things like that, Heero."
"You do it," said Heero, then sagged to the ground, more than tipsy from the noise and the drinks. Men kept buying her alcohol as they watched anxiously, as if the one who brought her the best drink would get to sleep with her.
"We flirt," said Relena, gently lifting Heero off the pavement. "You lead men on. You're what they call a 'cock-tease'." Relena didn't mean it as a compliment, but Heero snickered and thought it was kind of a funny name. Then he vomited, and all three forgot about cock-teases and Heero's less than virginal behavior.
But usually, Heero stayed out past four in the morning with the girls, dancing and basking in the attention. He put on his sexiest clothes (admittedly, he censored his outfits according to Duo's tastes because Duo washed his clothes, and that would be just awkward if he found a little black thong in there) and downed a few shots until he felt uneven on his feet.
"Poor thing," said Relena as Heero rubbed her hips into an anonymous guy. They danced in their own world, too concerned with friction to pay attention to the beat of the music. "She's just drowning her sorrow in nameless sex."
"Nameless grinding," said Dorothy. "She won't go all the way, trust me."
They both grimaced as the man placed a hand on her breast. Heero jerked back, eyes flashing and furious, and slapped him as hard as she could.
"Isn't that the same guy from last time?" said Relena, shaking her head. "You'd think that they'd learn."
"Maybe they like the punishment," said Dorothy, smiling as Heero wove her way through the crowds to their table. "They can't keep their hands off you," she said, her smile fading as Heero grabbed a random glass and downed its contents. "You're just sucking it down tonight." She shrugged, snatching Relena's gin and tonic.
"Maybe you should slow down, Heero. How can you dance if you're falling over your feet?" said Relena, touching her arm with a light hand.
Heero shrugged. "Doesn't matter," she said, swaying slightly. "I--"
She fell forward in a dead faint, knocking her head against the table. As she slid down against the dirty floor, her slender body crumpled into a heap, shattered glass rained down on her head.
They took her to the hospital, but it was impossible to get anyone to look at her when Heero's insurance card stated that Heero was a male and the figure they hauled into the waiting room had definite curves under her tight clothing.
"She's just passed out from too much alcohol," said Relena, biting her nails frantically. "She should be fine if we let her sleep it off. Just a hangover tomorrow." Dorothy nodded, lifting Heero's feet. "Let's get her home."
Dorothy prayed that Duo would be asleep by the time they got to their apartment, but as soon as they opened the door using the key from Heero's purse, it became obvious that Duo was still awake and watching television.
"Heero?" he called, footsteps echoing through the quiet apartment. "You're home ear--"
Dorothy bit her lip as Duo froze, one hand clutching the remote, the other still raised in greeting. "Duo," she said, "she had a little too much fun. You know." His eyes were still shaded, revealing nothing of what he thought about the girls having to haul his roommate home.
"It's nothing," said Relena, and _that_ finally unfroze Duo. He blinked, shaking his head a bit. "She'll be fine. Just let her sleep it off." When Duo still hadn't said anything, she said, almost desperately, "It happens to everyone."
Duo remained silent as he lifted Heero into his arms, but his eyes narrowed darkly, glittering through his jagged bangs. Relena was almost relieved.
Heero woke to a throbbing headache, but he summoned all his soldier willpower and forced himself to open his eyes. The shades in his room had thoughtfully been pulled down, thin cracks of light seeping in around the molding of the door.
"Fuck," he said, sitting up slowly. His whole body ached, like he'd just been run over repeatedly by a Peter Pan bus. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck." The worst part about a hangover wasn't the headache or the nausea or the tiny needles poking into the eyeballs; it was the longevity of the pain and the fact that Heero usually made his hangovers go away by getting drunk again.
He was still wearing his clothes from the night before, and they reeked of smoke and sweat and the strange thick smell of beer. "You will never do this again," he told himself.
"My thoughts exactly," said Duo, rising from his chair in the corner of the room. Heero's heart skipped a beat as he approached, his eyes unreadable in the darkness. It was almost worse that way; unable to see the other person's face, unable to know if Duo were angry or pissed or simply indifferent. Heero hoped it wasn't the latter.
Heero sensed that it was Lecture Heero Time, so he remained quiet, drawing the blankets up to his waist and arranging them neatly. Duo stood at the side of the bed, arms crossed. Duo was wearing a dark sweater with a thick white band through the chest, and it was that lightness that gave Heero a measure of where Duo's face was.
"You were smashed last night," said Duo. Heero wasn't sure if it were a question or not, or merely a statement, but he felt a flare of guilt and a need to defend himself. "Jesus, don't. Don't say anything. You were--you were just _laying_ there," said Duo, "passed out, floating higher than God. Jesus."
"I'm fine," said Heero. "Just a little tired."
"Sure," said Duo. "You're fine, and Dorothy's fine, and, hell, Relena's fine too, but you _smell_ like--like there was some guy all over you and you don't even care. I don't think you should go clubbing with them anymore."
Heero started. "Duo--"
"Don't," said Duo. "Maybe it was just a one-night thing, just a little too much fun. I'll buy that, but I'll only buy it once."
"Who are you to--"
"I'm your fucking best friend!" said Duo, capturing Heero's face in his hands. "Look at me, Heero. I'm your best friend, and I care about you so much, and I can't even find the words to explain it, but I _do_. I don't think you're happy, and I want you to be happy, because I care for you, and. You're just fucking important to me, all right, so you'll just have to accept that I won't--can't-- accept this. I love you. Like a brother," he added, and a small part of Heero smirked at the lameness of the addendum.
"So what am I supposed to do?" said Heero, tearing his--her-- her face away. She felt guilty and exposed, as if Duo had suddenly ripped the front of her dress away and stood there laughing. She felt as if Duo knew her too well, too well not to see how she felt and how she didn't know she even felt, hadn't known--
"You could hang out with me," said Duo, quietly.
"I don't want to intrude--"
"No, no; you're not intruding at all," said Duo, like he meant it. And when Dorothy and Relena called to see if Heero wanted to go out, she turned them down. Duo smiled at her from the other side of the room and Heero bit her lip to keep from beaming back.
End Part Two
Bianca
Please send comments to: weirdsisters@hotmail.com